Tales from My La-La Life

Why the Rallies Matter

2008-11-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

There's been all this negative talk among people about the Prop 8 protest rallies that we've been having in California and, today, across the country. If you read the blog comments and hear the talking heads commenting, they keep saying things like, "What's the point to the protests? You're not going to get the vote overturned by holding up signs." That may be true, but I think people are missing the real point of the protests.

For the past several years--in fact, the last 15 years or so--the gay community has been living in general complacency. After ACT-UP folded in the mid '90s, the gay rights movement virtually disappeared from site for a lot of us. We got so used to being part of the mainstream (thanks, "Will & Grace") that we've forgotten that there is still a lot of bigotry and intolerance in the world. When "Brokeback Mountain" came out and did so well at the box office, it was almost as if we'd finally been welcomed to the captain's table on "The Love Boat." We got this idea that mainstream society had finally accepted us. Or, to paraphrase the indelible Sally Field, "You liked us. You really liked us." Because of our increased visibility in the mainstream, we forgot that we still needed to work together to keep the momentum going. We moved to our gay ghettos and ate at our gay restaurants and went to our gay gyms and got so used to just being around other gay people, we started taking each other--and ourselves--for granted.

The one good thing about Prop 8 passing is that there's been a wake-up call in the gay community. Suddenly we got to see what a lot of people who said they embraced us and loved us really thought about us, and it wasn't pretty. They thought we were funny on TV and they loved our movies, but deep down, they still thought that we lived unnatural and immoral lives. The honeymoon with the rest of the world is now officially over, and we are once again forced to look within our own community for the support and encouragement that we need to get back out in the streets and tell the world that it's not OK to think of us as any less than any other human being. That's why these rallies have been so important. They are bringing us together again in a way that we haven't been for more than a decade, and they are mobilizing us to take action once again. We are now beginning to see how important it is for us to stay bonded and united in strength, not splintered into high school cliques, as we have been.

The rallies have gotten us out of the bars and the gyms and off the Internet hookup sites and into the streets. And the more rallies we have--the more time we spend coming together for the cause--the stronger we will become again, and this time, there will be no stopping us. This time, we'll get our equal rights, because we've tasted a little bit of what it feels like to be "accepted" in the world, and we aren't going to stand for anything less. These rallies may not get Prop 8 overturned, but WE will. Just you watch. You just can't keep a good gay down.

Christians & Mormons = Religious Fundamentalists/Terrorists

2008-11-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've said it. It's become more and more obvious over the years that the Christian right and the Mormons are forcefully imposing their religious views on this country, a country founded upon the notion of freedom of religion. They've gone so far as to introduce propositions to take away civil rights in a country founded upon the notion of equality for all. To them, if you don't agree with their point of view, you're a heathen.

As a well-educated, free-thinking human, I deny the existence of a supreme being known as "God." I think the whole concept is complete and total rubbish, comparable to Greek mythology and fairy tales for people who feel the need to believe in something because they can't face the idea that maybe this is all there is. The idea that there is some all-knowing being living in the sky who is keeping track of who's being naughty and nice is one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard, yet millions of Americans readily fall prey to this hooey. And for what? Salvation? A place at the Popular Table in the Sky? As if.

Do I think there is something bigger than all of us out there? Sure. But it's NOT God. God was invented by people who needed an explanation for their lives. I fully believe there is some kind of spiritual "energy" that connects us all, and that we will all be joined together again once our "energy" (i.e. souls) has returned to the fold, but this has nothing to do with the traditional concept of a judgmental "God."

Because this is America, I have the freedom to believe that without reproach. And because of this, it should follow that those who do believe in God should not be allowed to construct laws that affect my life--or the lives of anyone else who do not share their beliefs. Religious fanatics are forcing their faith onto people every day by using deceitful and unethical practices, resorting to lies and fear tactics, and bombing abortion clinics in the name of God, and it's nothing short of terrorism. It's absolutely no better than the suicide bombers that hijacked the 9/11 planes, and it needs to be stopped.

It's time for America to live up to its separation of church and state and tell religious fundamentalists to keep God out of our governing systems. We need to vote NO on Proposition 8 and take a stand for equality for all, regardless of race, creed, gender, sexual orientation or religious background. We need to vote NO on any proposition that is founded upon religious beliefs. We need to start living up to the principals that are set forth in our Constitution, and start living as free-thinking individuals who believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and to the same benefits and rights as anyone else. Until the Christian right and the Mormons are stopped, we will live in their fundamentalist stranglehold, and it's destroying this country more and more. Seriously, people, it's time to wake up and smell the "magic beans" that are being fed to us by the church. If you want to believe in God, that's your right, and I respect your right to practice it, but your religious beliefs have NO place in the laws that govern this land. It's that simple. Keep God out of it and vote the way Americans were supposed to: With BRAINS, not faith.

I'm Ken Knox, and I approve this message.

Participating in History

2008-11-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

This weekend I got to go out and do something historical. Me and my best friend, Natalie, participated in a rally to support the defeat of Proposition 8, the California initiative that would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. I've always believed that in order for change to come about, people need to step up to the plate and do more than just talk about change, and this weekend I got to put my money where my mouth is.

It was the coolest experience being part of the rally. Our rally was held on all four corners of the intersection of Sunset Boulevard and Hyperion Avenue in Silver Lake. When we first got there, there weren't all that many people around, but there were some who already had their signs and were holding them up as cars went by. We got our signs, chose our corner and got to work. We had been told to ignore the people who tried to confront us or yell at us. Surprisingly, there wasn't a whole lot of that going on. I would say that an overwhelming majority of the people driving by -- at least 65 to 70 percent of them -- were honking in our favor. Tons of people drove by giving up the "thumbs up" sign or shaking their fists in show of support. There were all types of people -- Latino families, straight couples, gay couples, single folk... everyone was out and showing their support. Lots of people walking by decided to grab a sign and join us.

Natalie and me had smoked a little weed before we got there, so were were a little stoned, which made the whole thing kind of surreal, but we were definitely present in the moment and having lots of fun. It was just an amazing feeling to see all the support and to audibly hear it in those horns honking, which is usually a sound I can't stand. But yesterday, it was a beautiful sound. I guess you could say that since Silver Lake is a pretty progressive neighborhood, it was no surprise that mostly everyone was beeping in support of our cause, but then again, as I've found out all too recently, you can never be too sure about who's on your side. When people who claim to be great friends tell you they are voting to eliminate your rights, it's a bit discouraging. But getting out into the streets and helping to promote the message of equality for all really brought my spirits up.

I had just received my new Flip camera in the mail the day before, so I shot some video of the rally. It's not the greatest, and I come off like a total dork in the video, but oh well, you can check it out below if you want. Don't forget to get out there yourself and vote NO on Prop 8, and do something to ensure that inequality is not a legacy that our children will have to atone for.

With a Heavy Heart...

2008-10-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today I have a very heavy heart. One of my good friends, somebody I truly love, just called me up out of the blue to tell me that she plans to vote yes on Prop 8 and that she needed to address it with me. She went on to tell me that not only must she honor her religious faith by voting "yes," but also that she has done a lot of research on the issue and she has concerns about what legalizing same-sex marriage will mean to her children (children, is must be noted, that she doesn't have yet). She spoke of the ramifications of same-sex marriage without giving specifics, and stressed to me that her vote to eliminate my right to enjoy the same kind of legally recognized relationship that she is entitled to does not mean that she loves me any less. Well, golly gee.

I have to admit, I was floored by this conversation, but I should not be surprised. I knew my friend was getting more and more involved with her religious faith (those damned Mormons!), and in fact, I saw this coming, but it didn't make facing the inevitable any easier. I didn't want to get into a huge debate (or worse), so I politely told her that she is entitled to her opinion and that I still love her, then excused myself from the phone call. But now... just moments later, I'm torn. I was just sitting at work the other day telling my co-worker that I didn't think I would be able to maintain a relationship with anyone who voted in favor of Proposition 8, and now I'm forced to put my money where my mouth is. But here's the thing: I don't know that I can do that. How can I look at someone who voted to deny me the right to equality and not feel like they've told me that I am lesser in their eyes? How can I not feel judged? Telling someone that is gay, "I love you, but I don't think you should enjoy the same legal rights as me" is the same as telling a black person, "I love you, but I don't think you should be allowed to drink out of the same fountain as me." And yet my friend maintains that she loves me and thinks no less of me. How can this be true if she doesn't think I should be allowed to the most basic of rights?

As I said, the reason that my friend gave me for voting in favor of Proposition 8 is that she is worried what same-sex marriage would mean for her children (the ones she hasn't even had yet). She said there would be very serious ramifications on her kids if gay people could marry. She didn't elaborate, but earlier she did say she didn't want her kids learning that same-sex couples could marry in school. And my answer is, "WHY?"

This kind of reasoning annoys me more than anything, because essentially she's blaming her decision to treat me unfairly on kids she doesn't even have yet, and absolving herself of the responsibility of her own bigotry. And I just have to ask: WHAT ARE WE PROTECTING THE CHILDREN FROM???

What ramifications are the Prop 8 people talking about? The ramifications that their kids will grow up in a world where people are recognized as equals under the law? Those ramifications??? GOD, NOT THOSE! God knows we don't want our kids thinking that it's OK to people to be who they are and to feel like they are entitled to the same rights as everyone else. Because that would just be too horrible for words.

Why is it so horrible if kids learn about same-sex love at an early age? Isn't that when they SHOULD learn about it, so that they don't grow up with the same prejudices that their parents harbor? If you want to save the children, then save them from the people who are voting yes on Prop 8. Seriously, THESE are the people who are destroying this country.

Maybe it's because I'm gay that I think we all should be equal, but I don't know... wasn't this country founded on the idea that all men are created equal? How is voting to amend our Constitution and eliminate the rights of a certain faction of people honoring those founding principals? How is this justifiable under ANY circumstances? The truth is, it's NOT. It's just plain WRONG, and I'm having a very hard time figuring out how I can still call someone my friend when they don't even think that any relationship I have is worthy enough to be protected under the law because such a thing might hurt her unborn children!

My friend said she spent a lot of time praying for her answer and that she got a very spiritual sign to vote yes for Prop 8. Since I do not share her belief in God (yet again, I am seeing how organized religion prevents otherwise intelligent people from making rational decisions), I can't look to the heavens for my answer. I'm going to have to search my heart on this one and see where it leads me. What would YOU do???

'NCIS' Star Pauley Perrette Comes Out Against Proposition 8

2008-10-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

My neighbor and good friend, Pauley Perrette (Abbey on TV's NCIS) has written a wonderful essay on why Proposition 8 is bad for California -- and for the world in general. I knew there was a reason why I loved her so much, besides the fact that she's a pretty cool chick.

Check it out below!

PROPOSITION HATE

By Pauley Perrette

I realize that this could be entitled “Proposition Fear” but it doesn’t rhyme and it doesn’t exemplify the true nature of the issue, either in initial intent or the inevitable outcome. Proposition 8 is an initiative on the ballot set for November 4th, 2008 that would change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same sex couples to marry. There is nothing else to it. It is simply to “eliminate rights”.

There have been many times in the history of this country where necessary reform has been both championed and enacted. Reforming our laws can be a positive process, one which makes this country better and more true to what we stand for, such as “All men are created equal”, and “Liberty and justice for all”. In the beginning, “All men are created equal”, actually meant “All white male property owners” are created equal. Later reform meant this clause was inclusive of all white males. After a while, and an enormous amount of bloodshed, women and people of color would also be afforded most of the same rights.

Marriage has taken even longer to reform. Anti-miscegenation laws prevented couples of different races from marrying. It was a felonious crime, in which offenders could be imprisoned, and were. This may sound like ancient history, but it certainly is not. The case of Loving Vs. Virginia, which finally rid us of this unfair treatment of some of our “equals”, was only finally litigated and won 1967. California should be proud that they were, as usual, ahead of the curve: California ended anti-miscegenation laws in 1948.

There are many cultures that do not allow anyone to marry the person of their choosing at all. The person you marry is chosen for you. This practice is still in effect within certain religions. In this country, one has the right to choose their religion, thus, engaging in the tradition of your marriage partner being chosen for you, or picking your own mate, is voluntary. This should not be ruled involuntary by the state.

Religious persons are the overwhelming proponents of Proposition 8, although many do not support Proposition 8. In point of fact, two denominations, plus some religious advocates from outside of California, are taking the lead in supporting Proposition 8. In their zeal, they have made many false claims in their attempt to frighten voters into voting for Proposition 8, such as churches losing their IRS status and that same sex marriage being forced upon children in school. These allegations have been clearly stated as untruths, yet the campaign of false rhetoric continues in millions of dollars worth of false advertising..

Here’s the real truth: whether or not Proposition 8 passes, churches are allowed to discriminate against whomever they want, or to not discriminate. Some churches will not ordain women or allow them as members of the clergy. Some do. Some churches allow marriage ceremonies for anyone who wants to make that kind of commitment, some do not. Some do not allow divorce, or a divorcee to remarry. Churches are segregated, delegated and regulated by their own clergy and judicatory heads. Each of us has the choice to attend the church we want to, or none at all. Separation of church and state allows for religions to have their own set of rules as to whom they will accept and who they won’t, and the practices they support and the ones they don’t. They will continue to be able to do so. Equal rights for everyone under the law allows churches to proudly define themselves as what they do or do not support. The bottom line? Proposition 8 will not affect religious communities at all.

As far as the continuous lies about schools go, California Law prohibits any child from being taught anything about health or family issues against their parents will. Not only does Proposition 8 mention nothing about education, the Superior Court has already ruled these scare tactic claims in their current ads as false and misleading. They continue making these claims regardless of the exposition of the truth to try to instill false fear.

And what is the fear? “Protecting Marriage”, and many other varied wordings of the same sentiment, seems to be the mantra at the core of this. This is very similar to the language used in the anti-miscegenation laws of yore. “Protecting,” suggests that something is in danger, could be stolen or damaged. When others are doing the same thing you are, when they believe in the same values you do: commitment and loyalty and monogamy - doesn’t that lend support for the values of marriage? Is a gay married person going to sneak into your house in the middle of the night and steal your marriage? Your marriage may be threatened by infidelity, lack of interest, lack of commitment or tragically by abuse or deception, however, other committed married couples do not affect your marriage at all.

Many people are vehemently in objection to legal marriage all together, for anyone whatsoever, to the point where they would like to have it legally impossible for anyone to be married. Same sex couples that believe in marriage believe the same thing straight marriage oriented people do if faced with an anti-marriage for all proposal. They believe in the right to make that commitment if they want to.

Personally, I am a church-going Christian. I love my church, my congregation; it’s my favorite place to be. I feel the safest and the happiest when I am at my beloved church.
I am a straight, female, divorced Christian who has chosen an excellent mate (this time)
and am about to get married, in my church. I love my fiancé more than I thought a person could love another and thank God every day for him. Exactly the way many couples of differing races, religions and orientations feel about their beloveds. In many places and times, I would not be able to get married. Because I chose my own partner, because I was divorced years ago, because I am of Native American heritage (now mixed with several other things) or if marriage was outlawed all together, I wouldn’t be able to be married. But I can. And I am.

I have been making arrangements, calling my family, speaking with my pastor, trying to figure out what to wear; trying to make a list of invitations, the same thing many other couples have been doing. I’ve been to, and and have been in, many beautiful weddings of late. Some are same sex, some are opposite sex. They made plans for their day as I am doing now. Food, location, family, friends, flowers, reservations, flights… I’ve worn a dress, taken endless pictures and cried tears of joy for all of my friend’s nuptials in the exact same way.

The only difference is, there are people who want to amend the California Constitution in order to strip some of my friends of their marriages. Forget about the food, the location, the family, the friends, the flowers and the wonderful memories of that special day… It was their commitment and love that made me cry.

These are People.
People with pretty conservative ideals.
People who love each other so much they want to make it official and legal, have a wedding and celebrate with their loved ones. They have happy photo albums and saved their cake. They have rings and special things from their weddings. They love each other, just like straight people do.

Love is a big word. I believe in Love. I believe that God is Love. I believe in things like
1 John Chapter 4: 7-12 /20-21.

People who love each other.
Really? That is who you want to spend millions of dollars to “eliminate the rights” of?
I don’t know what church you go to, but I’m sure glad I go to mine. A church that believes in love and equality for all.

And I’m sure glad that I will not have on my conscience and in my soul that I supported a bill of hate and fear and a campaign of lies.

I am proudly voting No on Proposition 8. And am proud to be able to say years from now, when there are plenty more married couples of all types and shapes and colors and sizes trying to do the right thing with their marriage,
that I did the right thing.

I am an American who does what we say we are…
Liberty and Justice for all…
All are created equal.

And I am a Christian
Who does what it says…
Love one another…
The greatest of these is Love.

No On Prop 8.

Pauley Perrette

Understanding American Stupidity in Election Time

2008-09-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more frustrating or downright infuriating than American stupidity? I swear, the more we get into this election, the more discouraged I become by the display of sheer idiocy on display by the people who are actually considering voting for the McCain/Palin ticket. It's not bad enough that we just sat through eight friggin' years of lies, deceit and fascism at the hands of a serious nincompoop with daddy issues, but now people are actually considering putting themselves through four more years of it?

For years, there was a swell of excitement surround John McCain. He was supposed to be the "liberal conservative," the "cool" Republican that would straddle the line between social and economic conservatism in a way that would speak to all people. But what happened? As he got closer to announcing his candidacy, he morphed into every other hardline conservative with a greed for power and an over-sized ego. As if his blatant homophobia and sexism wasn't enough, he then proved himself to be completely incompetent when he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Many are making the choice out to be one of desperation, but I think it was purely strategic. It's true that his bid for the presidency was beginning to falter prior to choosing Palin, but the choice to bring a small-town soccer mom on board as his VP was sheer brilliance on his part. He did what Obama was too chickenshit to do when he dissed Hilary Clinton in favor of Joe Biden: He brought a loud-mouthed woman to the party. (Personally, I still think Obama was scared of being overshadowed by Hilary's history and her immense support from within the Democratic party.) But Obama's mistake--and say what you will, but his choice to go with Biden over a sure thing like Hilary was a mistake--was McCain's victory. McCain chose a woman that the red staters could relate to: the tough-talking woman who raised them all. He tapped into the rampant narcissism that plagues American culture and gave the Republicans a woman they could look up to--even if she knows diddly-squat about politics--because she reminds them of their own mothers. Ingenious!

But McCain's choice clearly demonstrates the stupidity of the American people who never got out of their hometowns and who cling to a false sense of security like the dirty blanket that Linus obsessively carried around in The Peanuts cartoons. It also represents the self-righteousness of those who resent the success of their former classmates and small-town peers. Voting for Palin is their revenge on everyone who ever left home and actually made something of themselves. Small-town people are nothing if not self-righteous about staying small-town. Terrified of getting out of their comfort zones and actually following their dreams, they stick around their home base because there, they never have to face the possibility of failure. They have no one to answer to back home, because everybody else is too busy deluding themselves into thinking that "dreams" aren't meant to be realized by "good people like me." So they surround themselves with people who will support them in their smallness, and they look down on the ones who actually followed their passions and made a play for happiness. Does this mean that everyone who decided to stay close to home is an idiot? Not at all. I know many people who never left home who are intelligent individuals and who lead very full lives, but there is clearly a large faction of small-town society that has no idea how the rest of the world lives, and that's where Sarah Palin comes in.

Palin clings to her "small-town values" like it's something she should be proud of. In a way, I agree with her. I live in Los Angeles, a huge city where people typically come to escape their boring and painful pasts and remake themselves into someone "fabulous" and "successful." I am very happy to say that I've never given into the superficial tendencies of this city; I am true to my small-town roots in remaining true to things like honesty, loyalty and the belief that everyone is worth my time, not just the beautiful people who look like movie stars. But where I differ from Sarah Palin is that I don't let my small-town values get in the way of empathizing with and accepting others who are different than me. Palin lets her belief that she is better than anyone who is different from her cloud her judgment as a human being and as a politician. And I don't want someone who touts "small-town values" as a badge of honor to be in position where she might end up running the country one day. People in small towns tend to only look out for those who are like them and who share their beliefs, which means that Palin is certainly going to overlook gays, pro-choice women and minorities of all colors. I want someone with global values in the Oval Office: Someone who honestly cares for and looks out for the happiness and rights of EVERYONE, not just those who come to her Tupperware parties. As much as I love my own mother, I would never want her running the country, because there is so much in the world that she chooses not to understand due to her limited exposure to the world.

In the new issue of Rolling Stone, Matt Taibbi makes a brilliant assessment of American society when he writes, "Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power.... The great insight of the Palin VP choice is that huge chunks of American voters no longer even demand that their candidates actually hvae policy positions; they simply consume them as media entertainment, rooting for or against them according to the reflexive prejudices of their demographic, as they would for reality-show contestants or sitcom characters."

This is what is wrong with America. We don't really give a shit about anything like our own freedom or what's good for our country anymore. We don't mind that civil rights are being eradicated left and right, or that people like Palin would destroy years of hard work on behalf of gay and women's rights; we just want someone who can make sarcastic jokes during their campaign speeches and who looks like someone we might invite throw a good baby shower. Palin, more than ever, demonstrates just how low the American people are willing to sink in their desperate need to feel warm and fuzzy in their own beds at night. In the back of our minds, most of us know that if the shit really hit the fan, Sarah Palin wouldn't be able to handle it, but she gives the APPEARANCE of "normalcy," of someone who is "just like us." And it is that very illusion and fear that will destroy this once-great country that, for all intents and purposes, was created by the very people that Palin and her right-wing cohorts would like to condemn to inequality once and for all.

Palin is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and she will destroy this country if given the chance out of her own narcissistic selfishness--and anyone who votes in favor of the McCain/Palin ticket will be complicit in the destruction of all that was once good about America. If you are straight and vote for McCain/Palin, then I think you seriously need to take a look at yourself and question your bigotry. And if you are gay and vote for McCain/Palin, then, frankly, you need to have your fucking head examined, because your self-loathing will certainly be your own twisted (and deserved) downfall. I get that people want to feel safe, but I ask you: What is it going to take you get America to wake up and smell the bigotry and political deception of this presidential ticket? Are we really that stupid and naive? I really hope to be proven wrong in November, but as of right now, I'm not so sure I have much faith in the capability of the American people to do what's right not just for themselves, but for the rest of the country as well.

On the Porn Set

2008-06-11T11:05:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I gotta love my life! Last week I got to go up into the mountains in the San Fernando Valley and visit the set of All Worlds Video's newest adult film, He F*cked My Father. Yes, you heard the title right. I don't think it's a mystery, though. I think it's more of a comedy. (Then again, isn't every porn film these days a comedy? They sure make ME laugh.)

I was up there to interview this new hottie, Wolf Hudson. He's a straight boy from New York who got into gay porn because the money is good. Go figure. Wolf was a lot of fun to chat with, and I even got to stick around and watch him film his scene with co-stars Kai and Vance. It was funny because as I looked around the "set," I saw little salamanders and lizards scurrying every which way. (You gotta love the California desert.) Thankfully, none of them interfered with the shoot. Can you imagine if lizards started scurrying past porn stars as they were doing their thing? Actually, I bet Wolf Hudson would've liked that. He's kinky that way.

I didn't stay on set too long, just long enough to interview Wolf and watch the first part of his scene being filmed. I also spent a little bit of time ogling Cameron Marshall, who was posing for still photos for photographer Mick Hicks. Talk about a hottie. Mr. Marshall is the blond boy of my wettest dreams. Yummy.

Anyway, here are some pics from the shoot. Hope you enjoy!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Journey Back to Me: My Experience with Accelerate Training Center

2008-05-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

[NOTE: The following story originally appeared in Vol. 11, Issue 8 of IN Los Angeles Magazine.]

Six months ago, I was stuck. After a great start to a year that saw me achieve highs in several areas of my life (new job, new car, new body courtesy of working out with a trainer for eight months), things began to fall apart. I injured myself working out, had to quit the gym, and ran out of money. A promising relationship fell apart soon after, and I couldn’t meet a writing deadline to save my life. Suddenly, everything I had worked so hard for was slipping out of my fingers, and I was in a funk. I was angry, judgmental, sad and simply depressed. It was not good.

Then one day my friend Cheri called me up on the phone. “Ken,” she said, “I have to tell you about something that has changed my life, and I think it will do the same for you.” She went on to tell me about her experience with the Accelerate Training Center in Costa Mesa, where she was enrolled in life coaching courses. “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced,” she said, “and I want this for you. Will you do it?” There was something in her voice that spoke to me that day. She was on a high, and I knew that whatever it was she had gotten into, I wanted some of it as well. I was in bad financial shape, but Cheri loaned me the money to enroll myself into Accelerate’s Basic course, and a week later I showed up to begin what has been the most incredible journey of my life. Six months later, I am a truly changed man.

I sat in a room with 60 other people and watched as miracles began to happen around me. As the instructors began to introduce us to the program’s fundamental principals—that we are all responsible for everything that happens to us, that we are each worthy and brilliant people who deserve everything wonderful that life has to offer, and that a life lived in contribution to others is the best life one could possibly live—I was at first resistant (“I know all this stuff already,” I thought to myself), but then, during one of the exercises we were asked to do, I had my first “breakthrough.” It was then that I realized that there was a whole spectrum of things that I didn’t know that I didn’t know and I stand today as a man who is absolutely in touch with my heart, and who has once and for all put his past behind him.

I am now enrolled in film classes at Los Angeles City College, where I have completed my first two film shorts. I no longer see deadlines as something to dread, and I have begun work on my second book. Personally, things couldn’t be better for me: I actually have a relationship with my parents that is growing deeper and deeper every day, I am putting myself out there with men in a way I never have before, and I have more friends than I’ve ever had in my entire life. I no longer cling to the pain I experienced growing up gay, and I no longer blame others for any of my own shortcomings, which has allowed me to tear down the walls I’d built around me and truly open my heart up to others. Most importantly, my focus is no longer solely on my own life: I recently traveled to Mexico with several other Accelerate students and built a house for a poor family (an experience I am documenting in my second short film), I raised nearly $2,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and I am now beginning the journey to become an HIV counselor for gay men. Life could not be better.

What I learned from Accelerate as a gay man is that my sexuality is really just one small part of myself, and that people will love me no matter what if I have the courage to show up for them. I wanted everyone to like me, so I went out of my way to be whoever I thought they wanted me to be, whether it was by acting “butch enough” to pass as straight so that straight people (and many gay people) would accept me or by spending tons of time in the gym to fit in among today’s body-obsessed world. But in the process, I forgot who I really was. The people at Accelerate accepted me for who I was (one of my early coaches at the Center was, in fact, gay), and encouraged me to shine in the spotlight of my own making.

It’s hard to really describe Accelerate to people, chiefly because you need to experience it for yourself without knowing what goes on there so that you can get the full benefit of the trainings. Here’s what I can tell you: The Center offers several courses (including the Basic, Advanced and Leadership programs that make up the entire “journey”) that consist of a series of games and exercises designed to reveal to you how you are showing up in your life. The Center then introduces participants to a series of tools that allow them to “shift” out of mediocrity and into greatness. This may sound corny to some, but to any gay man or woman who still has conversations about their worthiness—like many of us in the gay community are still prone to have—something like Accelerate could be just the thing that they have been waiting for.

The program challenged me in ways I had never been challenged before, and it was tough. There were days when I wanted to drop out because I feared that I would not be able to open myself up to what they told me. But I stuck it out because I knew that there was something more available to me. There’s an analogy that sums up what the program did for me. Where I once had a garden full of red rocks that represented all the things that were holding me back in life, I now tend to a garden filled with beautiful plants and flowers that represent the limitless potential that I have to help change the world just by being myself and having the courage to put myself out there and proclaim that things will be different because I say so. I recognize now that I matter, and that I am a passionate, caring and courageous man who has the vision and the voice to move and inspire people by sharing myself with them. I realize that I am truly worthy of love and all the happiness it brings, and I get that if I want people to open themselves up to me, I have to first open myself up to them. Life is hard, and people that I love will disappoint me again, but I’m not going to let that stop me from opening my heart up to the world and loving as if I’ve never been hurt.

These are invaluable lessons in life, and I learned them all because I said “yes” to my friend Cheri six months ago. But I wasn’t just saying “yes” to Cheri. I was saying “yes” to myself. Isn’t it about time that all of us did the same thing?

Ken Knox graduated from Accelerate’s LP 28 Leadership Program in April, and is now coaching others as a volunteer at the Center. He can be reached for questions about the program at LaLaLifer@aol.com, or, for more information, visit www.acceleratetrainings.com.

Some Pics from the Film Shoot

2008-05-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out my movie yet, I sure hope you rectify that mistake soon. You can go check it out on YouTube by clicking here.

In the meantime, here are some fun pics from the shoot that will probably be used for the DVD packaging. Enjoy!

Wanna Watch My Movie!???

2008-05-03T01:01:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, it's done: My first-ever movie. I moved to Los Angeles just about seven years ago to get in the movie business, and I'm finally getting off my butt and doing something about it. I'm loving film school, and the opportunity to do something like this has been a huge inspiration to me.

We shot the movie over two days in the Pan Pacific Park, which incidentally is where they shot the exterior of the disco in Xanadu. So "movie magic" was all around us. Haha. I shot it on a budget of $100 (for food and snacks for the actors) and with the fear that the police might come and kick us out at any moment because we were filming without a permit! But we never had anyone bother us in the two days we were there. On the contrary, everyone left us alone, though the families with their kids were quite amused to see six mimes walking around the park on that first day.

The assignment for class was to do a chase film. I wanted to do something slapsticky and in the vein of Benny Hill meets Charlie Chaplin, except without the gratuitous T&A shots. I ran through several scenarios until I came up with this idea: A man reading a book in the park is bothered by an excitable mime who won't leave him alone. This leads to the mime stealing his book, which leads to the big chase. I was lucky enough to find a professional mime on Craigslist. Mark Wenzel was awesome to work with. He came with his own props and ideas on fun things to do. The whole unicycle bit came from him bringing it along. I thought it would be great to shoot all kinds of fun comedy bits during the chase. It really worked out well.

My director of photography was Michael Bosman, who is also my next door neighbor. He had graciously offered to help me out on my project a while back, and he was instrumental in the movie looking as good as it does. He shot on his professional camera, and we sat together for five late nights and collaborated on the editing. It was laborious, but great fun just the same.

I wasn't supposed to play the Guy, but you really find out who your friends are when you're making a movie. I couldn't find anyone to play the Guy, so I stepped in and did it myself, but I really had a great time doing it, though I gotta tell you, all that running about killed my legs. I fell at one point and totally scraped up my knees. They are still recovering! Anything for your art, right?

Here's one interesting tidbit for all you NCIS fans. Mark couldn't really whistle that well, so we had to dub in someone doing his whistling for him. So I asked my neighboor and good friend, NCIS star Pauley Perrette (aka "Abby") to do the whistling. So yes, I have a bona fide TV star in my movie. How cool is that?

Anyway, there you go. Some of the fun behind-the-scenes facts about the making of my very first movie. I hope you enjoy it!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

I Finished My First Movie!!!!

2008-04-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, last night it happened. I finished a cut of my very first movie ever! My director of photography/editor and I had spent the past several nights staying up until 1:30 am putting together an acceptable cut, and last night we added the music and a few finishing touches to it. My neighbor, TV star Pauley Perrette (Abby from NCIS), even has a voice-over cameo in the movie! She whistles really well, by the way...

Eventually I would like to have someone record an original score for the movie, but for now, for the purpose of turning it into film class, I am very happy with the results. It turned out beautifully for being my very first movie, and I say that with complete confidence that it's actually GOOD. Thank God I was working with such a talented DP/editor who could assist me in my vision; he was absolutely integral to the success of this movie. So Michael, THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ROCK!

I will be posting the movie here on MySpace in the next few days, so be on the lookout for it. Until then, here's a preview of what's to come...

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Life Coaching and Good Sex...

2008-04-27T17:59:00.001-07:00

So, last time around, I was talking about how doing the Accelerate program had opened me up emotionally. And it has. But with that new openness has emerged a VERY cool perk: AWESOME SEX!!!

Seriously, I've been having the most AMAZING sex of my life lately! I don't know exactly what's up in the water they have out at the Accelerate Training Center, but whatever it is, it's been working wonders on my sex life. Actually, I think I can pinpoint exactly what it is. Now that I've finally gotten in touch with all that pain I had been holding deep inside me, I am able to let it go and focus solely on the moment and making the most of it. The connections I've been having--not only with my friends, but with various men that I meet here and there--are quite frankly, mind-blowing to me. It's like some secret has been revealed to me. The secret on how to frickin' ENJOY MYSELF with other people. I love it.

There have actually been two guys recently who have pretty much blown my mind--among other things. (Thank you!) Both were from out of town, and both were totally my type of guy. Masculine, easy-going, quietly strong, naturally athletic bodies, and totally dirty-minded. (The latter being my favorite trait in any man, of course.) I have to say that both of them belong at the top of the Best Sex of My Life List that I've been keeping in my head for the past several years. It's like, I keep finding guys who end up going on the top of the list. At this juncture in my life, I sometimes wonder how that's possible. You'd think with as much sex as I've had (and trust me, there's been A LOT of it, mmm-kay?), I'd have pretty much done it all. But with acceptance of one's self comes a whole new level of intimacy with people, and I'm totally diggin' it. Yes, I have to admit, it does hurt just a little bit when these guys put on their clothes and disappear off into the night when it's all said and done, but that's OK. That's part of the experience, letting myself feel that. It feels good to know that my heart is not frozen after all. I used to feel so depressed after a guy would leave. I would start thinking, "Why didn't he want to spend the night? Why didn't he ask me to call him the next day? Why doesn't he want more with me?" Now I just kiss him goodbye, watch him walk off, take a deep breath, and go on with life again. At least I had that moment with them, and it meant something. They all mean something. The one guy from Vermont... shit. I would kill to have a guy like him in my life and wake up next to him every day. I know it was just "vacation sex" to him, but that's OK. To me it was more than just sex. It was everything I'd been looking for. And it was also a personal breakthrough, to be able to be happy for having had the experience and to love it for what it was, not for what I wish it was. Even if I still can't help but laugh at how absurd life can be sometimes. (Of COURSE he would be from out of town!) In those situations, I just have to have a sigh and a good laugh. It's all part of the journey.

My guy is waiting for me somewhere anyway. Hell, maybe I've already met him and we just don't know it. Whoever he is, he's one lucky motherfucker. These other guys... they have NO IDEA what they're missing out on. That's for sure. Did I mention that I cook too? :)

They say that with each guy, you get closer and closer to finding the one who's going to blow your mind (among other things, hehe) on a more permanent basis. We'll see. God knows this single guy is ready for the perennial "something more," but until it comes along, I'm happy where I am in my life. I feel good. I feel alive. More alive than I've felt in years.

It's a wonderful, WONDERFUL time in my life, and I'm going with it. :)

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Madonna vs. Mariah: A Diva Smackdown!

2008-04-25T15:22:00.001-07:00

So by now many of you have heard that two of pop's biggest musical powerhouses, Madonna and Mariah Carey, are releasing albums a week apart from each other. Mariah's E=MC2 dropped last Tuesday, and this coming Tuesday, Madonna's long-awaited Hard Candy finally makes its debut. According to the media, these two women have been engaged in a feud for years, though both deny such rumors. Still, there is something a little aggressive about putting records out at the same time. Healthy competition? Perhaps. But no matter what their intentions, this is one war of the divas that will signify just how the times are shaping up for both of these talented ladies.

Being the connected media whore that I am, I managed to wrangle an advance copy of Madonna's CD, and so I'm going to give you my input on this exciting musical smackdown.

MARIAH CAREY: E=MC2

Without a doubt, expectations for Mariah's follow-up to The
Emancipation
of
Mimi were high. That record, a huge seller for her in 2005, put her back on the map after an extended period in which we saw her have a breakdown, bomb with both the film and soundtrack for Glitter, and get dropped from her contact with Virgin Records. But rather than take it all lying down, Mimi hooked up with some powerhouse producers and released her most successful album ever. With hit singles like "We Belong Together," "Shake It Off" and "Say Somethin'," Mariah managed to get herself in the good graces of her fans again, and she's been riding high ever since. So it's no surprise that E=MC2 is a bit more of the same. Recruiting a virtual Who's Who of today's most sought-after producers (including Tricky, Jermaine Dupri, DJ Toomp, Stargate, Will I Am, Bryan Michael Cox, Nate "Danjahandz" Hills and James Poyser), Mimi again lets loose with another street-fused collection of winning R&B pop songs. The first single, the addictive "Touch My Body," has already shot to No. 1, and follow-ups, like the club thumper "Migrate" (featuring T. Pain) and the reggae-tinged "Cruise Control" (with guest star Damian Marley), will undoubtedly follow in that single's footsteps. There's a huge No. 1 ballad in the gorgeous "I Stay in Love," not to mention the equally smooth "Love Story." These aren't the melodramatic, over-the-top chart-toppers of Mimi's past; here, it's almost as if she's truly investing herself in the new songs, singing as if she's really been there. Nowhere is that more true than on the brilliant "Side Effects," featuring Young Jeezy on guest rap. This song finds Mimi singing of an abusive relationship, and the driving pulse of the song only drives its tale of domestic woe home all the harder. Lighthearted gems like "I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time" and "I'm That Chick" show that Mariah hasn't given up her silly side, while "Last Kiss" and "Bye Bye" are another couple ballads that round the disc out. The only weak link, to this reviewer, is the album's closer, "I Wish You Well," an overly schmaltzy track that should have been left off. Other than that, Mimi truly delivers with E=MC2. In many ways, this is an even stronger disc than Emancipation. This time out, Mariah doesn't sound like she has anything to prove. She's just getting down to basics and belting out some authentic jams that will make any self-respecting fan of smooth grooves want to boogie down. In fact, I'm dancing as I write this. Grade: A-

MADONNA: HARD CANDY

For those who don't already know this, I am what you call a Madonna fanatic. I've loved the woman since I was 14 years old. I've basked in her glory for over half my life, always inspired by her openness about her sexuality, her forthrightness when discussing pressing social issues (like gay rights-- thank you, girl!) and her sheer drive and determination. She's got in goin' ON--even at 49. (And for those who can't seem to stop pointing out her age, SHAME ON YOU! Thank God for someone like Madonna who tells you where you can stick your stupid ageist beliefs and who plays by her own rules.) Her vastly underrated 2003 record American Life was a commercial "flop" (fans weren't ready for a folksinging Madonna), while 2005's follow-up, the critically lauded Confessions On a Dance Floor, didn't fare much better in terms of sales (though the accompanying tour was, of course, the most successful tour of the year, thank you very much). It seems Madonna has been struggling to find the balance between artistic freedom and relevance for the past few years, and--like Mariah before her--was "in need" of a big hit to put her back on top. That hit could very well come from Hard Candy, her 10th studio recording. But this time out, Madonna ditched the innovative underground spinmeisters (like William Orbit and Mirwais) who helped define her sound on the last several records and sought out the hitmakers of today: Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Nate "Danja" Hills, the Neptunes, and Pharrell Williams. For some, this will come off as an act of desperation. But is it? Madonna has always been one to latch onto trends. The only difference is that in the past, she set her sights on stuff that was taking place in the fringes of society, whether it was in the thrift shops she frequented while making her way up the ladder in New York, bringing "voguing" to the masses, or popularizing "crumping" on the Confessions Tour. Here she embraces a fully formed trend, jumping merrily on the bandwagon. In some ways, this is shocking: Madonna has, in fact, been widely known for having full control over her image, from her look to her sound. And here she is, gleefully surrendering to the talents of a bunch of guys who have the power to make anyone over (see: Nelly Furtado, Duran Duran, et al ad nauseam). The results are a mixed lot, though not so much in terms of the music itself. As far as that goes, this is a stellar record, chock-full of potential No. 1 singles that Madonna hasn't churned out in years. From the driving marching-band pulse of first single "4 Minutes" (already shooting up to No. 3 with a bullet) to the peppy "Give It to Me" right down to Timberlake's "What Goes Around" knock-off, "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You," Hard Candy is one of Madonna's most pleasurable albums ever. The problem is that it's not really a Madonna record, per se. On one hand, one can only imagine that Her Highness experienced a bit of a personal breakthrough by letting someone else sit in her driver's seat. Kudos to her. But on the other hand, Hard Candy is a better showcase for the talents of her various producers than it is for Madonna's creative vision. Where is the woman who spearheaded transformative singles like "Like a Prayer" and "Papa Don't Preach"? Here she happily gives it up to a bunch of merry pranksters who reinvent her as a hip-hop queen. Much of it works, of course. Madonna is certainly versatile enough that she can tackle any endeavor and usually come out on top (we'll forget about some of her movies and that embarrassing Erotica album). Her she gamely makes her way through a series of tracks that would sound right at home on Furtado's next record. Other highlights include the lovely "Miles Away" (which finds her lamenting "You always have the biggest heart/When we're 6,000 miles apart"), the effervescent "She's Not Me" (on which she defends herself against another vamp who's encroaching on her territory) and "Dance 2Night" (a jubilant number recalling Timberlake's Duran Duran collaboration "Nite Runner" that has Madge once again espousing the pleasures of getting down on the dance floor. Go figure.) "Heartbeat" is a club thumper of the highest order (and one of, um, three tracks on the record that shares the same message as "Dance 2Night"), and "Beat Goes On" (which features a rap cameo by Kanye West) is pure musical sugar, going down as smoothly as anything she's recorded in this vein ("Lucky Star," "Material Girl") before. (It's certainly a step up from the near-awful leaked version of the song that turned up on the 'Net last year. Thank God.) The title track is willfully vapid, but it's not terrible. I wish I could say the same about "Spanish Lesson," one of Madge's most self-conscious album tracks ever. Here, she gives her listeners exactly what the title suggests, filling us in on how to say any number of sayings in her second favorite language. Apart from the occasional misstep, Hard Candy is a pure delight from start to finish, but one can't help but wish that there was more of Madonna's influence present. There's very little--apart from "Give It to Me"--that signifies that this is a Madonna record. Honestly, these songs could have been recorded by any number of today's hottest talents. It's great that Madonna can let go every now and surrender some of that control, but when her personality is subjugated to the talents of others, something is amiss. My grade? As a showcase for her producers: A. As a Madonna record: B.

So who's the winner of this showdown? Well, anyone who knows me knows where my loyalties lie, but from an objective opinion, I'd say these ladies are evenly matched this time out. Mimi has the edge with her effortless mix of old-skool R&B and new-skool street music, but Madonna's got Timbaland and Timberlake in her corner. Mimi's record will probably sell more copies, but Madonna's tour will no doubt be another monster this summer. So I'm calling this one a draw. I can do that; it's my blog. :)

2008-04-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

I'm such a bad, bad blogger. What is wrong with me? I used to be such a talker, always wanting to share myself with people in my life.

The thing is... well, I guess I just got lazy for a while there. The responsibility of keeping up with a blog can be daunting. If I post regularly, people will expect things from me, and I hate when that happens. LOL! I'd rather live in mediocrity so that way I can never disappoint anyone. Funny, huh? Well, I'm shifting out of that way of thinking, and I'm proclaiming today that things are going to be different. I'm going to keep this blog updated more regularly, because it's a great forum for me to speak my mind and share my stories with people. It's all about sharing for me.

It hasn't been all about me being lazy. I have been pretty busy too. And I want to tell you people about what I've been up to. For the past several months, I have been involved with a life coaching organization out in Costa Mesa called Accelerate. It's truly been the most amazing thing I've ever experienced, and it has made me step up to the plate in a big way in my life and take responsibility for doing the things I say I'm going to do and getting out there and making my dreams happen. I'm now in film school at LACC, and I shot my very first movie last week! I'm finally doing something to go after my goal of being a filmmaker, and I'm so proud of the movie I shot. It's a slapstick chase comedy with mimes, and I really think that I have put together something special and fun that will impress my teacher and my classmates.

I'm also volunteering at the Gay & Lesbian Center, and am on a list to become an HIV counselor there, and to top it off my life coaching team and I just returned from a house-building trip to Mexico, where we got to build a house for a poor family that was living in a shack. This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Handing over the keys to the husband and wife was a beautiful experience. They cried. I cried. My whole team cried. There was a lot of crying going on. I filmed the whole trip and plan to turn it into a 6-minute documentary for my 3rd film school project. That's going to be cool.

I'm actually going to be writing a story about Accelerate for one of the next upcoming issues of IN magazine. It's been such a revolutionary experience in my life, helping me to open up to people in a way I never have and allowing me to finally understand and squash all the things that have been holding me back in life. I never realized how I was showing up in life before I did this program--how selfish I had been with everyone in my life--and now I'm out there making things happen. I'm making new friends and rekindling friendships with old ones. I'm loving like I've never been hurt. And it's GREAT. Especially as a gay man who was harboring so many issues because of a painful childhood, I got so much value out of the Accelerate trainings that I can't wait to share all that I've experienced with the readers of IN.

There have been all kinds of breakthroughs for me--things that have been opening up left and right. I'm dating, I'm making new friends, I'm up to big things in my life. It's a wonderful, WONDERFUL time in my life, and I want to make sure that I am sharing it with everyone I know so that they, too, can be inspired. This is my gift as a writer: I get to share my experiences and inspire others to achieve their own success stories, or make them feel less alone, or make them smile on a day when they are feeling down. It's all about reaching out. So stay tuned, because that's what I'll be doing from here on out on this blog. You can expect it from me! :)

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Ken's 2008 Oscar Predictions

2008-02-21T23:21:00.001-08:00

The Contenders

This year’s crop of Oscar nominees is made up of a decidedly “alpha” bunch. IN gets into the ring to predict which ones will emerge victorious.

By Ken Knox
If you’re the type of person who follows trends (and really—what gay man living in Los Angeles doesn’t?), you may have noticed that many of this year’s line-up of Oscar nominees have something in common: They’re a rather manly bunch. From the rough-and-tumble virility of Best Actor nominees Daniel Day Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones and Viggo Mortensen, to the tomboy trio of Best Supporting Actress nominees Amy Ryan (as a hardened addict in Ben Affleck’s Gone Baby Gone), Tilda Swinton (as a ball-busting law woman in Michael Clayton) and Cate Blanchett (who actually appears as a man in Todd Haynes’ unconventional study of folkie Bob Dylan, I'm Not There), right down to the nominees for sound editing, this year’s crop of Oscar contenders is downright burly in nature. Now that the writer’s strike is over and the Oscars are going on as scheduled, we can all sit back in anticipation of the big fight and watch the sweat and blood—or at least the bitchy jokes by Bruce Vilanch—fly.

Who’s going to win, you ask? Aye, there’s the rub. In a year in which the race is as wide open as a porn star’s legs on a Saturday night, certainties are virtually non-existent. Which is why I'm here to offer you my expert opinion on who will be this year’s champions.

Best Actor

George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

This is by far the most rugged collection of actor nominees in a while. Heck, even Johnny Depp managed to leave behind his trademark fanciful mirth for a typically brilliant turn as a hardened barber-turned-murderer in Sweeney Todd. But Depp’s turn to win is still off in the distance—Oscar rarely honors musicals—so perhaps his next collaboration with director Tim Burton will bring him a statue. Clooney deserves a nomination for his stellar work as the unhinged title character in Michael Clayton, but the film’s low profile could hurt his chances. Likewise, In the Valley of Elah’s poor showing at the box office will unfairly hinder Jones’ chances at a win. We’d love to predict that studly Mortensen (whose much-ballyhooed nude fight scene in Eastern Promises got more attention than the flick itself) would emerge victorious, but since virtually no one saw the movie, I'm betting that the trophy goes to category front-runner Day-Lewis, whose showy but solid turn as an oil man in Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood was the most talked-about performance of the year.

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie: Away From Her
Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno

After being snubbed by virtually every other awards shows, Linney was a surprise nominee for an Oscar, but the lack of support cancels her out. Blanchett will have a hard time overcoming her movie’s bad reviews, while Cotillard will have to settle for achieving that rare feat of being a foreign actress nominated for an Academy Award. That leaves Ellen Page in one corner and Julie Christie in the other. Though 20-year-old Page was delightfully engaging as the precocious title character in Juno, she’ll have many other opportunities in her still-budding career to take Oscar home—which means that veteran actress Christie is the best shot for a sure thing in this category. Her devastating depiction of a woman in the throes of Alzheimer’s is everything the Academy loves. Plus it’s about time she picked up another trophy; this will be her first since her win for 1965’s Darling.

Best Supporting Actor

Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James…
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson’s War
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

I’d love to see Hoffman take the trophy for his hilariously droll turn as a maverick CIA operative in Charlie Wilson’s War, but it will be impossible to overcome the buzz for Bardem, whose menacing performance as a murderous crook probably scared the Academy into voting for him. Dark horse potential goes to Hal Holbrook.

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

With no clear front-runner, this is perhaps the tightest race of the night. Here’s who won’t win: Swinton and Ronan, whose combined screen time in their respective films equals about 30 minutes. Veteran actress Dee has some steam after her surprise win at the SAG Awards and could pull off the seemingly requisite upset in this category, while Ryan’s performance as a drug-addled mother of a kidnap victim in Gone Baby Gone has won her accolades from virtually ever major critic’s organization. But I'm going with Blanchett, a prior winner in this category for playing another real-life character (Kate Hepburn in The Aviator). As a ‘60s-era Bob Dylan, she stole the show from the likes of Richard Gere and the late Heath Ledger. Plus, drag queens know: Donning the clothing of the opposite sex is no easy task.

Best Animated Feature

Persepolis
Ratatouille
Surf’s Up

Although I think it’s a crime not to honor Marjane Satrapi’s stunning Persepolis, it’s hard to argue with the momentum of Pixar’s Ratatouille. After all, who doesn’t love a rat in the kitchen? Um, on second thought…

Best Documentary Feature

No End in Sight
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience
Sicko
Taxi to the Dark Side
War/Dance

With all the emphasis on wartime drama, this category is nothing if not a battleground. The lone exception is Michael Moore’s health care doc, Sicko, which gets points for eschewing some of Moore’s usual bombastic chest thumping in favor of a bit more objectivity. But it will be hard to best the critically lauded No End in Sight, which gets points for revealing the incompetence that fueled President Bush’s so-called “war on terror.”

Best Original Screenplay

Brad Bird et al,. Ratatouille
Diablo Cody, Juno
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Tamara Jenkins, The Savages
Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl

While the Coen brothers are sure to take the award in the Adapted Screenplay category for their treatment of No Country for Old Men, the Original Screenplay race is a bit less predictable. Ratatouille has been universally praised by critics everywhere as one of the best films of the year, but if the equally beloved Juno is to win any major awards, it will be here. And even though Cody’s teen-speak is a bit on the self-consciously “hip” side, look for her teen pregnancy comedy to leave the Kodak Theater with a baby named Oscar.

Best Director

Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood
Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, No Country for Old Men
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Jason Reitman, Juno
Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

In a perfect world, Michael Clayton’s Tony Gilroy would be honored for his studied re-enactment of a ‘70s suspense drama, but I know how these things work by now—which means that the front-running Coen brothers are shoo-ins for the award they should have received for 1995’s Fargo. That means talented whippersnapper Reitman will just have to wait his turn, while Schnabel will have to settle for just being nominated. Potential dark horse: Anderson, who directed Daniel Day-Lewis to deliver the performance of his career.

Best Picture

Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

First things first: A Best Picture nomination for Juno? I loved the movie, but the more deserving Persepolis (or hell, even Ratatouille) should have taken its place in this category. That said, Reitman’s comedy doesn’t stand a chance for the win, so it’s really a moot point. Atonement has the sweeping romance of 1996 winner The English Patient, but the reviews have been mixed and without nominations for actor, actress or director, it will have a hard time overcoming the competition. Meanwhile, Michael Clayton (my choice for the deserving winner) lacks the momentum to snag the trophy. Critical momentum counts for a lot in this category, and, while There Will Be Blood has received its fare share, the Coen brothers’ ultra-violent adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s novel, No Country for Old Men, is the best-reviewed film of the year. Then again, look what happened with Brokeback Mountain in 2006. I'm still knocking remnants of that chip from our shoulder two years later.

THE OTHER CATEGORIES

Documentary Short

Freeheld
La Corona (The Crown)
Salim Baba
Sari’s Mother

Sari’s Mother is an emotionally affecting movie about an Iraq mother seeks health care for her AIDS-stricken 10-year-old son. You do the math.

Foreign Language Film

Beaufort
The Counterfeitters
Katyn
Mongol
12

With Persepolis and The Orphanage unjustly ignored in this category, look for Poland’s WWII drama to take the gold this year.

Cinematography

The Assassination of Jesse James…
Atonement
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Atonement and There Will Be Blood looked great, but the No Country sweep will continue here.

Art Direction

American Gangster
Atonement
The Golden Compass
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
There Will Be Blood

Does anyone else notice that movies with European settings almost always seem to win the Oscar in this category? That would make Atonement the practical choice for a winner, but I'm going with Sweeney Todd for its overall tone of foreboding, which was brilliantly complimented by the drab sets.

Animated Film Short

I Met the Walrus
Madame Tutli-Putli
Même les Pigeons Vont au Paradis
My Love (Moya Lyubov)
Peter & the Wolf

The classic kids’ film gets a CGI makeover and goes directly to the podium in the process.

Live Action Film Short

At Night
Il Supplente (The Substitute)
Le Mozart des Pickpockets
Tanghi Argentini
The Tonto Woman

Movies about scrappy but adorable little boys tug at the heart strings of everyone, and Oscar voters are no exception.

Visual Effects

The Golden Compass
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Transformers

Please—my head is still reeling from watching cars turn into giant robots.

Costume Design

Across the Universe
Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
La Vie en Rose
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I'm tempted to go with Sweeney Todd again, but my bet is that the European factor will reign supreme in this category.

Film Editing

The Bourne Ultimatum
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Into the Wild
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Though The Bourne Ultimatum featured some of the flashiest editing ever put on film, look for the more subtle choice, No Country, to come out on top.

Sound Mixing

The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma
Transformers

Please—I’ve still got a headache from listening to cars turning into robots.

Sound Editing

The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
There Will Be Blood
Transformers

See above.

Original Score

Atonement
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma

With Johnny Greenwald’s mesmerizing score for There Will Be Blood unjustly snubbed due to an insipid technicality, look for Atonement and 3:10 to Yuma to duke it out in this category. Odds to Atonement, just because Academy voters love sweeping romantic scores.

Original Song

“Falling Slowly,” Once
“Happy Working Song,” Enchanted
“Raise It Up,” August Rush
“So Close,” Enchanted
“That’s How You Know,” Enchanted

All those nods for Enchanted should (hopefully) cancel each other out, allowing scrappy indie pic Once to rise up and win.

Makeup

La Vie en Rose
Norbit
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

One look at the sea creatures that descend upon Captain Jack and company and the winner in this category becomes very transparent.

The 20 Best Albums of 2007

2007-12-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

So it's that time again. Year-end lists and all that good stuff. This past year was a pretty darn good one for music, if I do say so myself. From the propulsive, urgent return of The Boss and the defiant rock of a former American Idol star to the '60s-inspired blues of one messy Brit and the spritely musings of two twin lesbians, 2007 offered all kinds of great fodder for your iPod. Here, then, are my choices for the 20 best albums.

1. Bruce Springsteen: Magic (Sony)
No arguments here. The year's best disc came from one of our greatest rock and rollers of all time. Revitalized like he hasn't been since 1984's Born In The U.S.A., Sprinsteen reunited with the E Street Band and managed to crank out one of the best albums of his career. There's no denying that listeners can find traces of Darkness On the Edge of Town and The River on Magic, but even those classics don't hold a candle to the urgency that fuels this modern masterpiece. From the propulsive, urgent guitars that power opening track "Radio Nowhere" (one of the best rock songs of the last decade, period) to the Beach Boys-esque romance of "Girls In Their Summer Clothes" all the way to the tender "hidden" track "Terry's Song," Magic is the sound of an artist finding his way back to the limelight--and the sound of true rock and roll revisited.

2. LCD Soundsystem: Sound Of Silver (Capitol)

Indie rocker/label owner James Murphy may have gone "mainstream" by signing with Capitol Records, but his sophomore effort (the follow-up to 2005's more edgy LCD Soundsystem) retained every bit of the scrappy charm that we've come to expect from him. While "North American Scum" provided the dirty-rock anthem that we craved, tracks like the Human League-esque "Someone Great" and album centerpiece "All My Friends" (my pick for Best Dance Track of the year), this brillantly inventive and quixotic disc provided all sorts of sounds, the best of which were created for the sheer purpose of making you want to shake your bootay. And if you didn't, then Heaven help you.

3. Peter, Bjorn and John: Writer's Block (V2 Music)

Though many may be familiar with this trio's breakout hit, the painfully hip whistling anthem "Young Folks," there's a lot more to enjoy on this endlessly appealing record, the third from these mucho-talented Swedes. There's the grandeur of "Objects of My Affection," the New Order-meets-The-Shins romanticism of "Up Against the Wall" and "Paris 2004," the Brit-folk minimalism of "Let's Call It Off" and the grrovy psychedelia of "Chills." Throughout the CD, the sonic grooves are by turns moody, effervescent and challenging, but listen after listen, they continue to charm like few other songs managed to this past year. I actually didn't hear this album until the very end of the year, but I was so infatuated with the effortless hooks and hip retro vibe that I immediately deemed it one of the year's finest.

4. Radiohead: In Rainbows (Self-released)

Though much has been made of Radiohead's decision to make their latest album available via pay-what-you-will Internet downloads, not enough has been said about how good the music iteslf is. On recent albums (such as the painfully moody Kid A and its even more out-there follow-up, Hail to the Thief, Radiohead seemed more obsessed with creating a detached vibe of icy-cold electronica than they did with making music that people could actually relate to. Not since OK Computer has the band sounded this accessible. Some may scoff at the notion that music should be "dummied down" to appeal to the masses, but In Rainbows proves that you can make music that is both accessible and daring. One listen to album highlights like the dreamy "Nude" and "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" or the garage-rock bombast of "Bodysnatchers," and you'll likely clear your schedule for a week to immerse yourself in the wondrous splendor that Thom Yorke and company have to offer.

5. Amy Winehouse: Back to Black (Universal Island)

Though by year's end she had turned into the U.K.'s very own Britney Spears--that is, a loopy basket case with a substance abuse problem and a penchant for landing in the tabloids--Amy Winehouse started out the year by delivering one of 2007's most modern retro albums. With producer Mark Ronson onboard to whip her jazzy, Motown-by-way-of-Laurn Hill tracks into shape, Winehouse wowed us with both the ubiquitous "Rehab" and the even-better "You Know I'm No Good." She sang the blues on the somber "Love Is a Losing Game" and even managed to churn out one of the greatest female self-empowerment anthems with the sunny "Tears Dry On Their Own." Winehouse's equally fine (if not better) debut album, Frank, saw a release stateside in the latter part of the year, but this is the album that put this troubled talent on the map.

6. Duran Duran: Red Carpet Massacre (Epicc)
Springsteen wasn't the only notable "comeback" this year. Though they had struggled with retaining their relevance over the years, our favorite Double-Ds were back with almost the original line-up (guitarist Andy Taylor left the group after a falling out over the album's creative direction) and a new set of New Wave-meets-urban-hip-hop tracks courtesy of special guest producer Timbaland and his new best friend, Justin Timberlake. Red Carpet Massacre didn't return the band to their Top 40 heyday (the album debuted at No. 36 on the Billboard charts, and quickly fell off the radar), but it did prove to this music fanatic that there is life left in the old boys yet. I'm honestly flabbergasted that tracks like the funkified "Nite Runner" (featuring both Timbland and Timberlake on vocals) and the epic single, "Falling Down" (produced by Timberlake), didn't click with music buyers. Those tracks--along with the beguiling "Skin Divers" and "Tempted"--are nothing less than some of the best the band has ever recorded. Perhaps it's too much to expect that people will follow their childhood idols into adulthood (Madonna has certainly struggled with this same problem over the last few years), but for my money, there was no career move more risky and ultimately rewarding than the one that Duran Duran managed to pull off in 2007.

7. Kelly Clarkson: My December (RCA)

Speaking of the most risky career moves, Kelly Clarkson takes second place for her bewitching third record, My December, a bold and mature offering from the former American Idol princess. Clarkson got into a scuffle with label owner Clive Davis, who had allegedly scoffed at the album's "dark" themes, before the disc dropped, but the controversy surrounding their tiff didn't sustain album sales beyond its first few weeks. That's unfortunate, because My December is the best album of Clarkson's career. It's true that she explores some of her darker hours, including what she has called the lowest point of her life (album closer "Irvine"), her fears of ending up alone (the propulsive, brilliant "How I Feel") and a tough breakup (first single "Never Again"), but there is hope to be found among these gems. While the over-bloated "Haunted" creeps too near Evanescence for my tastes, the rest of the album reveals Clarkson to be a young woman of a continually evolving nature, and nowhere is this represented more poignantly than on the gorgeous ballad "Sober." On this stunning track, which builds from a whipser to a wail, she lays bare her emotions and proves once and for all that she is her own person. Clive Davis, "crossover hits" and album sales be damned; Clarkson has recorded a near masterpiece.

8. Mandy Moore: Wild Hope (EMI/The Firm)

The third riskiest career move of 2007 would have to be former pop tart Mandy Moore's parting from major label Sire Records to sign with EMI/The Firm in order to record a more sophisticated pop record. Like Clarkson, Moore was struggling with pressure to best her chart-topping glory days, but instead she shucked convention, hooked up with songwriters like Rachael Yamagata, Chantal Kreviazuk, Michelle Branch, Lori McKenna and indie-pop duo The Weepies, and co-wrote a batch of sunny pop tracks that hark back to female siner-songwriters such as Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell and Sheryl Crow. There's a refreshing sense of self-empowerment that flows through the record, from the "I-am-worthy" opening track (and first single) "Extraordinary" through the bittersweet breakup song "Looking Forward to Looking Back." There's also a sense of forgiveness; Moore dips into the self-righteous well only once, on the misguided second single "Nothing That You Are" (on which she tells an ex, "I hope you burn in Hell"--ouch!), but elsewhere, she finds a way to accent the positive on lustrous tracks like "Few Days Down," the pretty title track, and the album's gorgeous closer, "Gardenia." Elsewhere on the album, Moore asks "Can't You Just Adore Her?" on a track of the same name. After listening to this wonderful record a few times, the answer is an unequivocal and resounding yes.

9. Tegan and Sara: The Con (Sire)

Following 2004's breakthrough hit So Jealous was no easy task, but these twin lesbian sisters managed to record and release a fifth studio album that not only improved upon that record's indie-pop pleasures, but also cemented their reputation as two of the coolest chicks on the planet. So much of The Con is righteous, it's hard to pick what stands out, but you could certainly start with the jangly, urgent title track, the poppy post-breakup anthem "Back In Your Head," the desperate "Hop a Train" or the spendid "Burn Your Life Down." Guest artists on the record include Jason McGerr (Death Cab for Cutie), Hunter Burgan (AFI), Matt Sharp (The Rentals) and singer-songwriter Kaki King, but it's the Canadian siblings who stand alone-together in the spotlight, offering themselves in 14 tracks of pain and submission that qualify as some of the best of their career.

10. The White Stripes: Icky Thump (Warner Bros.)

It's almost too much to ask that a garage-rock-and-blues duo like the White Stripes could top themselves at this stage in their career. Six albums into a partnership that has already brought them much critical praise, comparisons to Led Zeppelin and several Grammy nominations (and a few wins), Jack and Meg White (still no relation; still not married) have churned out what is quite possibly the most focused record since their triumphant 2003 disc Elephant. It's certainly more streamlined than 2005's often brilliant but ultimately uneven Get Behind Thee Satan. Here, Jack and Meg stick to what they know best--exploring new ways of extending the Zeppelin sound without compromising their own identity along the way. The record's opening title track is among the grungiest of their canon, while "You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)" is their best sing-along-song since the Jackson Five-inspired "My Doorbell." "300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues" recalls the greatest Zeppelin ballads, while "Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn" is nothing short of a Scottish folk song remade for the modern age and the epic "I'm Slowly Turning Into You" provides Jack with this set's best opportunity to wail like Robert Plant--and he does. And there's "Rag & Bone," an insistent blues track that finds the duo humorously bantering about the usefulness of discarded items. All the Zeppelin comparisons are valid, of course, but the White Stripes are no mere tribute band. Indeed, they are as finely realized as a rock band in today's world can be, and their signature sound is still one of the best you're likely to find anywhere, anyhow.

11. Arctic Monkeys: Favourite Worst Nightmare (Domino)
Like the White Stripes, the Arctic Monkeys deliver propulsive power chords and attitude galore, mostly courtesy of lead singer Alex Turner. While I was not a fan of the band's 2005 debut record, I have since fallen head over heels for the more sophisticated sound found on this sophomore effort. Gone are the overwrought indie-rock histrionics that marred Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not; in their place are hooks and grooves that inspire people to sing along. Tracks like the pogo-stick-worthy "Teddy Picker" and the jaunty "Florescent Adolescent" reveal that Turner and company are students of randy pop rock, while "Only Ones Who Knows" reveals a softer side not previously heard from them. "Do Me a Favour" rocks out with understated percussion, while "This House Is a Circus" sounds like it takes its queue from Madness' "Our House." It's obvious that Turner and the boys have inspired other Brit bands like The Fratellis and even Scissors for Lefty (whose 2007 release, Underhanded Romance, is also one of my picks for the year's best), and with the more "in-tune" offering that is Favourite Worst Nightmare, it's not hard to see why.

12. Kristoffer Ragnstam: Sweet Bills (Bluhammock)

Let's hear it for those Swedes again. While Peter Bjorn and John were the trio to watch in 2007, Kristoffer Ragnstam was busy making his own waves as a solo performer. Being to Sweden as similarly inventive singer-songwriter Sondre Lerche is to Norway, Ragnstam composes jaunty, emotive indie-pop songs that burst out of him in fits and spells. A self-taught drummer, Ragnstam ensures that his records are full of percussion, and Sweet Bills, his full-length debut (following 2006's 5-track EP Do You Want a Piece of Me?), is a percussive dream. The songs (like first single "Breakfast by the Mattress," the somber title track and the slinky "Man Overboard") are sweet and sure in the best way--confident without being arrogant, sophistiated and intricate without being too arty and detached. 2007 was the year that Sondre Lerche got a major career boost after he was invited to compose tracks for the soundtrack to the film Dan In Real Life; let's hope that in 2008, somebody offers Ragnstam the same opportunity to get his name out there. This kid's the real deal.

13. Alicia Keys: As I Am (Sony)

Some might say that As I Am, Alicia Keys' super-sultry third album, represents the "selling out" of an individual talent in order to appeal to a wider market. Indeed, the tunes on this record are among the most accessible of Keys' career. Gone are the difficult, often confounding rhythms that (to this reviewer) marred her first two albums. In their place, Keys has inserted pop hooks and melodies that make her particular brand of R&B go down like honey. There's a lot of girlfriend-power to be found here: "Go Ahead" shows Keys finding the strength to tell a no-good dirty lover to "go on and get up out of here" after telling one too many lies, while the lovely "Superwoman" finds her celebrating her power ("Even when I'm a mess/I still put on a vest/With an S on my chest") and righteousness. Meanwhile, the now-ubiquitous single "No One" may just be Keys' best single since 2001's "Girlfriend" first catapulted her to stardom. Throughout the record (and especially on other highlights like "Teenage Love Affair" and "Wreckless Love"), Keys creates a fuller, richer sound than on previous releases, finally fulfilling her promise as the thinking person's R&B diva. Long may she reign.

14. Tracey Thorn: Out Of The Woods (Astralwerks)

I'm not sure what happened to make Tracey Thorn fall out of graces with the critics, but it needs to be said that the relatively unsung release of her second solo effort was a major faux pas of my fellow music afficianados. The voice behind Everything but the Girl took everything good about that critically praised duo (superb hooks, introspective lyrics, down-tempo grooves) and incorporated all of it into Out Of The Woods before she repurposed it for her own solo needs. Fans of EBTG classics like "Wrong" and "Mirrorball" will find much to love among these 11 gems, including highlights like "A-Z," "Falling Off a Log," "Grand Canyon" and the exurberant first single, "It's All True." The gorgeous "By Piccadilly Station I Sat Down and Wept" finds Thorn in an especially somber mood, reflecting "Do you ever wonder where love goes/Out there in the ether I suppose," while album closer "Raise the Roof" brings it all back around with a thrilling, inspirational nod to kindness and humanity. While few of the tracks contained the sheer inventiveness that defined EBTG hits like "Missing" and "Lullaby of Clubland," they proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ben Watt isn't the only visionary in that duo.

15. KT Tunstall: Drastic Fantastic (Virgin)

Her breakthrough ablum Eye to the Telescope may have been the one that brought her recognition, but her sophomore effort will be the one that brings her respect. The Scottish lass throws herself full steam into a set of buoyant guitar-pop tracks that build upon the pleasures found on that first record. But this time around, Tunstall sounds more sure of herself, more focused on a particular sound and vision. She rocks out on album opener "Little Favours" and later track "Funnyman," and finds introspective glory on the uptempo "Hopeless," "Saving My Face" and the pensive "Beauty of Uncertainty." "Someday Soon" is a wistful ballad that finds Tunstall looking foward to getting her due, but it's harder-edged tunes like the kiss-off track "I Don't Want You Now" that reveal the depths of this woman's talent and range. Far from a one-hit wonder, she's just getting started.

16. Joe Purdy: Take My Blanket And Go (Self-released)

For those who have not yet discovered the sonic pleasures of Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter Joe Purdy, you're in for a treat. This endlessly prolific recording artist (four albums in two years!) writes, records and releases his records via his website, iTunes, eMusic and sites like CDBaby with a refreshing disregard for major label involvement. His acoustic music can be summed up as "front porch blues," and he has often been called a folksinger, but make no mistake: Joe Purdy rocks. Not in the way that Plant and Page once did, but in his commitment to making music that people can connect to. His ninth studio album (following the release of Feburary's equally good Paris In the Morning), Take My Blanket and Go is also one of his best, a lyrical, laid-back journey through the trials of his heart. A lover of a good love song, Purdy is at his best when he's in a somber mood, which is thankfully just about all the time. Whether he's lamenting the end of a relationship (as on the lovely title track), singing about goin' fishin' ("Goldfish") or recalling the memory of a day spent with an introspective friend ("Good Days"), Purdy finds new ways of investing acoustic music with fresh insight and splendor. Settling in with one of his records is like sitting down with an old friend for some good old-fahsioned soul searching: It's as rewarding as it is revelatory.

17. Kelly Willis: Translated From Love (Rykodisc)

Miranda Lambert may have gotten all the critical accolades (and deservedly so) this past year for her spirited Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but to this reviewer's ears, there was no better country release than Kelly Willis' lastest Ryko release, Translated From Love. Her first album in five years is also her best since her career-redefining breakthrough, What I Deserve. It gets off to a nifty start with the spirited "Nobody Wants to Go to the Moon Anymore," then continues to reveal gem after gem. Her cover of Adam Green's "Teddy Boys" is a revelation of retro-cool hipness ("Maybe I was just lookin' for somethin' nasty," she ponders), and her take on Iggy Pop's "Success" reveals a naughty side not previously heard, while "I Must Be Lucky" gives her the opportunity to purr her way through one of her sultriest performances yet. The rest of the album falls in line with the tender Nashville ballads she's become known for, which is just fine by me. When she croons that she's got "Too Much to Lose" or wonders whether a "Stone's Throw Away" is a good place to be, Willis reminds us what the best country music can accomplish.

18. Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings: 100 Days, 100 Nights (Daptone Records)

Amy Winehouse may have had the bigger retro-soul release of the year, but Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings brought the Motown sound back in a more authentic way on their third release, which landed them on several year-end best-of lists. Fans of The Supremes will find much to love among tracks like "Nobody's Baby" and especially "Tell Me," which evokes The Supremes' "Reflections." Jones--a 50-something-year-old who's been pounding the pavement since the '70s--brings much worldliness to the music, imbuing the grooves with equal parts pain and happiness. Hers is the voice of a woman who's lived to tell--a survivor of high order--and on these 10 delirously good songs of lost love, she sings the blues in a way that makes it sound like she invented them.

19. Just Jack: Overtones (TVT Records)

Somwhere between Robin Thicke, Justin Timberlake, Beck and The Streets lies Just Jack, an ornery little whipper-snapper from North London with mad rap skills and an ability to showcase them in electro-pop arrangements that are endlessly tuneful. He brings the funk on first single "Writer's Block," incorporates a snazzy, jazzy melody on the spirited "Glory Days," and settles in for a moody down-tempo grove on "Disco Friends." U.K. hit "Starz In Their Eyes" finds him calling out a friend for getting caught up in celebrity and fame, while "Life Stories" is a shout-out to "every last member of the X-generation/Addicted to the Internet, drugs and masturbation" and other outcasts who seem lost in today's corporate culture. But the pleasures don't end there: Just check out the brilliantly ambitious power-pop track "No Time" and funkified album closer "Electrickery" for proof that Just Jack is worthy of major stardom. Call him derivative if you want, but when the songs are this fun and the rhymes this clever, who cares who else he might sound like on occasion? None of those guys' albums made me smile half as much as this one did.

20. TIE: Angie Stone: The Art of Love and War (Stax)

Bedroom music never sounded so sexy as on an Angie Stone, and with this, her fourth album, the neo-soul diva and recent reality TV star returns with her finest set of smooth grooves since her debut, Black Diamond. Having ditched J-Records for the re-launched Stax, Stone re-emerges as a more insightful, introspective artist. This is evident on the album's opener, "Take Everything In," on which she sings about enjoying the simpler things in life, and on the wistful closer, "Happy Being Me," which features a lazy saxaphone that evokes the Sesame Street theme song. In between those two self-affirmative bookends are more traditional R&B grooves like the sultry "Baby" (featuring R&B legend Betty Wright), "My People" (a civil rights anthem featuring James Ingram) and "Pop Pop," a sensous track that compares the thrill of falling in love to dancing. Throughout the record, Stone displays a newfound confidence that propels her singing to new heights and re-establishes her as a singer and songwriter of incomparable talent.

20. TIE: Scissors for Lefty: Underhanded Romance (Eenie Meenie Records)

So I had to make this a tie so that I could include this record on my list. I had no idea who these guys were when I first received the record from their U.S. publicist, but after putting it one day on my way to work earlier this year, I was instantly taken with the infectious hooks and grooves that the band churns out song after song. From the excellent opener "Nickels and Dimes" to the Fratellis-esque "Next to Argyle" and the moody "X's are Forever," Scissors for Lefty make retro-rock sound cool and hip all over again. When they get to rock out on the power-pop chorus of "Save It Cory," they even inspire chills. Their music is not only great for rock and rollers, but also those who love to dance. It's that ability to appeal to multiple camps that should keep this band going until they finally break big. And when they do, I'll be there to say, "I told you so." But in a good way.

Here's looking forward to 2008... :)

Depressed Musings On a Saturday Afternoon

2007-12-01T16:50:00.000-08:00

So this is my La-La Life. I'm sitting here on my uncomfortable futon in my apartment, looking around at all the clutter that inevitably keeps accumulating in my living space. Random press releases, CDs, DVDs, magazines, a bag of veggie and flaxseed tortilla chips from Trader Joe's, an empty glass of wine (Merlot, thanx)... just all this crap that keeps turning up, no matter how much I clean. In fact, I've recently given up cleaning. My vacuum cleaner is on the blink again, so I haven't swept my floor in months. It's not pretty. And, the piles of media that keep accumulating in the corners of my apartment are ever-present. It's enough to drive me crazy with thoughts of the things I need: I need a bigger apartment, or I need to drastically refurbish the one I already have; I need a maid; I need a boyfriend. I'm not quite sure what that last one has to do with my cluttered apartment, but I'm on a roll here, so don't quibble with me.

The End is the Beginning!

2007-10-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, it's come that time: Time for the unveiling of The New Me! Yes, I have a new body, as you can see from the pics in this (long-delayed) entry.

A note about the photo shoot: I was lucky enough to hook up with a photographer who shoots for all kinds of things, one of them being stills and behind-the-scenes pics for the adult industry. His name is Greg Lenzman, and I've known him for a few years. He was gracious enough to volunteer to do the shoot for free, and he took me out to this really cool abandoned pier just off the PCH in Malibu, and it was there that I had one of the best days of my life. I've always had a very hard time taking my shirt off in private, much less in public, so for me to have felt confident enough to pose for this photo shoot was a HUGE deal. It felt GREAT! I was out there for hours in the sun, and I felt so sexy! Greg (aka "Mocha") took some amazing shots. When I saw them later on, I couldn't believe how I looked. "Is that ME!?" I exclaimed. Sure enough, it was. I can't tell you how happy I am with the results.

Speaking of results, here they are:

STARTING MEASUREMENTS (JANUARY 22):

Weight: 169.2 lb.
Biceps: 12 ¼ “
Chest: 40 “
Waist: 40”

ENDING MEASUREMENTS (SEPTEMBER 23):

Weight: 156 lb.
Biceps: 13 ¼ “
Chest: 39”*
Waist: 34”

* The final figure indicates a loss of fat, not muscle.

When I saw that I'd lost six inches off my waist, I was ecstatic. And boy, does it show. Just look at those before pics!!!

Sadly, my time training in the gym with Ronn has come to an end. After seven and a half months sweating it out at Train, my workout project for Frontiers is finished. And I'm sad. If anyone would have told me back in January that I would be sad to NOT work out, I think I would have laughed at them. As you all know, I was not the biggest fan of the gym culture, especially the L.A. gym scene. But my, how times change.

I'm a changed man now in many ways. If you've been following along on the blog, then you've read about how working out with Ronn has helped me to grow and evolve. Not only did I come to appreciate the value of working out regularly, I learned to appreciate the value of something much more important: Myself. I like myself more than I ever have now. I look in the mirror, and while I don't see exactly the body that I want, I generally like what I see, and I understand that I have it in my power to change the things that I don't like. That's an amazing knowledge to be aware of. It seems like such a simple thing--common sense to some. But to those of us who have struggled with body dysmorphia and who have felt intimidated by those more in shape, that is something that is hard for us to learn.

But what is beautiful about what I have done for myself is that I no longer feel inadequate and un-attractive. I am now simply aware of my body's limitations, and instead of feeling bad about the things that I cannot change, I accept and embrace those things as part of what makes me Ken. I am a little self-conscious about my rib cage being so low and prominent, but I just know that I have to work all that much harder on my chest and on my shoulders and arms to bring balance and symmetry to my body. OK. I know I will never have a full head of hair again, but I now see that I am a very attractive man just the same. Working out has helped me to realize that I simply can't be everybody's type--just as not everybody is mine. I no longer take rejection so personally. If they can't see me for the beautiful person that I am, then who really has the problem here? {Haha.}

Actually, there's so much more to it than feeling attractive and hot and desirable. The superficial reasons for working out are only half of why I did it in the first place. The bigger reward is that I was able to accomplish something that I had previously thought myself incapable of doing. Before when I worked out, I would lose my enthusiasm quickly. But this time around, I remained enthusiastic through all of it. Of course, this is all due to having a trainer to help push and guide me through the process. Through it all, Ronn became not only my trainer and my teacher, but also my mentor, my therapist, my big brother and my best friend. I knew from the first time we met that we were going to hit it off famously, and we did. I simply couldn't have achieved all that I did without him.

But now it's time for me to take what I've learned from Ronn and go out on my own, and I'm very excited to begin this next chapter of taking care of myself. I injured my wrist during the last few weeks of training, and I've been taking a break from weights since then to give it time to heal. It was a huge shock going from working out five nights a week to not working out at all, and I still find myself restless, but I make sure I hike in Runyon Canyon on the weekends just to keep active, and as soon as my doctor gives me the OK to head back into the gym, I am so there. Ronn has put together a great program for me to follow on my own, and I can't wait to see what else I can accomplish with my body. It's onward and upward for me!

I will post on this blog periodically to keep you updated on how I'm doing, of course. I can't guarantee I'll do it often, but I will keep posting text and pics so you can follow along in my journey. Thanx for all your support along the way. It's been a huge help!

Talk to you soon!

XOXO,
Ken

Update in the Life of Ken, 7-13-07

2007-07-17T23:09:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a little while since I posted a blog entry. For a writer, I sure can suck at writing, huh? Oh well. I've had a lot going on in my life lately, and it's been keeping me very busy. What's been going ask, you ask? Well, let me just tell you...

1. NEW JOB -- Yeah, I got a new gig. And a pretty frickin' sweet one at that. It came about rather suddenly. I was sitting at work at my old gig at AVN Online, when my co-worker came in and informed me that he'd given his notice. I had been unhappy in my job for quite a well--my job performance was certainly reflecting that--and I decided that the time had come for me to look for something else as well. So I went onto MediaBistro.com, saw a listing for an associate editor at Specialty Publications (who I used to freelance for quite regularly), and submitted my resume' that very evening. The next day, they wrote back to ask me a few questions (like what my salary requirement was), and then I got a call from the editor asking me to come in right away. Turns out he'd already decided to hire someone else, but when he saw my resume' he decided to wait until he met with me. Well, I knew within 10 minutes of walking into his door that I had the job. Sure enough, a few days later, I got the official job offer. It all happened within a week.

It's very exciting, too! I LOVE the new gig. I have a sweet office--my own office!--with a beautiful view of the city, and a lot more responsiblity than at my own job. It's like a junior editor position; I get to assign stories, negotiate contracts and even edit what comes in. I couldn't have asked for a better gig at this point in my career. And I fit in right away; it feels like I've been part of the team here forever. And the money certainly doesn't hurt. In fact, money has been the source of much happiness in my life recently...

2) NEW CAR! -- Yes! After three years of cavorting around town in a Dodge Caravan (yes, a soccer Mom vehicle), I've got new wheels! While my parents were in town visiting, we test drove a 2007 Toyota RAV4, and I was very close to buying it, but something kept pulling me back at the last minute. I had actually wanted one of the older models, because they were a little smaller and I liked the design better, so I went onto CarMax.com that night and found exactly what I wanted: a 2003 RAV4 with a sunroof and the whole sport model package! It was fate! So we drove out the very next day, I test drove it, applied for the loan, and several hours later drove off the lot in my new car--my first car that is actually bought and paid for by ME (though my dad did help out with a modest downpayment--thanx, Dad)! I couldn't be happier.

It's the sweetest little car. I didn't need a big SUV to prove my manhood--a CUV (compact utility vehicle) is just fine, thanx. I can still take it camping and haul shit around in it, and I can fit in tight parking places, which is key in Los Angeles! I had some other things done to it--like having rear sensors installed and outfitting it with a brand new stereo that ROCKS (it's iPod AND Sirius-compatible!)--and I just love it.

3) NEW HOME -- OK, well, not quite, but I have started the process of remodeling/redesigning the pad I've been living in for the past six years. My problem has always been that my one-bedroom space was just too small to contain both myself and my freelance writing stuff. All those CDs, DVDs, books and press releases add up rather quickly when you haven't got a lot of room to keep them in. But with the recent influx of money, I'm finally able to totally redo my bedroom. I have a really big closet, so I'm ripping out my closet doors and moving my computer and file cabinets in there, which will almost be like having a third room that is strictly devoted to office stuff. I'll have new file cabinets and shelves installed, and should be able to keep all my freelance stuff in there. That will allow me to keep my bedroom just as a bedroom, and I'll be getting a new bed/headboard, as well as a wardrobe to keep all the clothes from my closet in. Everything that's been in my closet will now move into a storage facility that I'll be renting with my neighbor.

I'll also be repainting the entire apartment (except for my bathroom, which I love) and getting new furniture for the whole place. Finally--a real sofa-bed, and not a futon! I'm growing up! AND I've totally redone my patio, which is now a third room in and of itself. I've blocked it off with some bamboo fencing, added some wicker furniture and a great Mosaic bisto table/chair set, as well as a grill, a water fountain, some plants and some Chinese lights, and it's now a totally decked out bachelor patio! It rocks. The neighbors have been over nearly every night to hang out up there with me. I moved Masha's litter pan out onto the patio (no more stinky bathrooom) and built a special little door so that she can go outside whenever she wants. Since she never goes any futher than three feet from my front door (she knows where her bread is buttered), it works out perfectly for both of us. I will post before and after pics soon!

4) NEW BODY -- As most of you know, I've been working on this since mid-January, and the results are definitely now showing. People keep commenting on the fact that I've lost weight (12 pounds!), and others have pointed out my "sturdier" upper body. The six-month project was supposed to come to a close in two weeks, but I've decided to extend it one extra month so that I can really hit the gym hardcore before the "after" pics get taken. I've added an extra night to the weight training (up from four nights to five) and have gotten even more strict about my diet (absolutely NO sugar!), so by the time August 22 rolls around, I should be looking pretty fine. It's great trying on clothes in stores and seeing my body in the long mirrors now. It's such an amazing feeling to look and myself and see what happens when you put your mind to something and really do it. For so long, I told myself that I would fail, and to be able to accomplish something you thought you couldn't is the most liberating feeling in the world. What's next?

5) A NEW MAN??? -- Well, this would be nice--if I could actually FIND one who actually WANTS to date. Sadly, I keep ending up with these typically non-committal types who mistake the desire to date and "explore the chemistry" as a demand for an engagement ring. The last guy totally came on strong, told me he wanted to date, and then accused me of pressuring him when I tried to get him to commit to a SECOND date. Sheesh. Some things never change. But it was a great thing for me. I'd had lingering feelings about him since the last time we dated a year and a half ago (before he decided to go back to his ex), and now I have a peaceful sense of closure about him. We obviously weren't right for each other, or else it would have worked out--if not the first time around, then definitely the second. Oh well. So it's back to the drawing board for me.

But here's the irony: For the first time, I feel like I'm actually ready to be in a relationship, but I'm in no rush. I seriously LOVE my life right now. About two years ago, I started to relax about the whole love thing, and since then I've managed to come to terms with being single. It's not so bad after all. I used to feel that I needed a boyfriend to make me feel complete, but I no longer feel that way. I AM complete right now. I'm happier than I've ever been--and it's totally fine that I have my cat and my friends--not to mention the occasional hot guy--to keep me company. It's such an awesome feeling to be happy in your own skin. Why did it have to take me so damned long to finally get to this point???? Oh well. You live, you learn, right?

So, there you have it, folks. That's what's been up in the life of your friendly neighborhood La-La Lifer, Hollywood Ken. Nothing but good, positive things. I don't know if you remember my post from January, but 2007 is the "Year of the Pig" in the Chinese zodiack, and so far, it seems to be true. Because this little Piggy is having a ball at the marketplace!

Hope all is well in your lives! Please keep in touch!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Random Recipe: Peanut-Mustard Chicken with Veggies

2007-02-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

Since my heath and fitness regimen requires that I eat nothing but good, healthy foods with low sodium, sugar and wheat, you can imagine that the diet can get a little... well, bland, after a while. I got tired of eating the same three things for dinner, so I took matters into my own hands last night and tried something different.

If you're trying to eat healthy and you're scared that the food won't taste good, or if you don't have a lot of time to prepare dinner--or if you're just someone who doesn't know how to cook--then this original concoction (made from store-bought ingredients) is the perfect dish for you. It's delicious, takes less than 15 minutes to prepare, and there's virtually no salt or sugar to worry about. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

The following recipe serves one person (with left-overs, depending on how hungry you are), so double or triple the recipe for more people.

Ken's Peanut-Mustard Chicken and Vegetable Stir-Fry

Ingredients:

One large boneless chicken breast
One bag frozen stir fry veggies
1/4 cup pearl onions (or chopped red onions)
1 tablespoon Beaver brand honey mustard (or honey mustard of your choice) *
1 tablespoon Terrapin Ridge Hickory Honey mustard **
1/2 tablespoon unsalted creamy peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon black pepper

In a wok, cook chicken on high in 1 tablespoon olive oil until about halfway cooked through, then add veggies and pearl onions. Cook on high for about 5 to 6 minutes, or until veggies are soft but crisp and chicken is fully cooked. (Add a little spring water here and there as needed if olive oil cooks away.)

Turn off heat. Immediately add mustards and peanut butter, then just a little bit of spring water and the pepper, and stir until ingredients create a "sauce." Serve immediately, or chill and serve later as a "chicken salad" entree.

NOTE: Vegetarians can, of course, substitute tofu for chicken. If you wish, you can also add peanuts, raisins or both to the dish. For the veggies, I prefer Trader Joe's stir-fry veggies (bok choy, sugar snap peas, and kale), but last night I made it with a bag of frozen veggies that included carrots, edamame, cauliflower, green beans and red peppers. Brocolli is also a great ingredient.

* Can be found at Ralph's grocery store
** Can be found at Whole Foods grocery store

Enjoy!

It's Official: 2007 Is MY Year, Baby!

2007-02-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

You know, I knew I was on to something this year. And now it all makes sense... It seems that in the Chinese Zodiak, 2007 is the Yeare of the Red Fire Pig. And I, my friends, am a Pig. (No comments from the peanut gallery on that one, mmmmkay?) I thought there was something in the air this year that was making me feel so empowered and liberated, and this proves it.

Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year is Sunday, February 18.

Chinese New Year in 2007 is the Year of the Red Fire Pig. The year of the pig ends the 12 year cycle of the Chinese zodiac. Like the houses of the zodiac, the animals of Chinese astrology are said to influence your luck during the year. Your horoscopes for 2007, the year of the pig, depends on which animal signifies the year you were born.

Pigs are said to be very good matches for tigers and sheep, but do not get along well with snakes and monkeys. Other pigs, rabbits, horses, oxen, rats, roosters, dogs and dragons can make good companions, but the relationships are not always smooth or long lasting.

Babies born in the year of the pig are fortunate and make good partners in life. The pig is modest, sometimes quick to anger but also quick to learn and hard working. Their ability to see things through brings success in business and personal affairs.

If you aren't sure which animal ruled the year that you were born this list will help. To get more specific information and learn more about what the omens are for your future in the New Year, check out related links of interest and find out what else the animals of fortune predict for you in 2007.

Here are a few general conclusions from the opinions of the sages...

Pig : 1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007
With the 2006 year of preparation behind them, those born in a pig year finally come into the full energy of their own sign. With all of the patient pig's attention to detail and hard work, the table has been set for this banquet year and pigs will enjoy sharing the feast with their family, friends and business associates. This will be a lucky year — with prosperity coming from success in business but also from unexpected money. Good fortune in 2007 is ahead for romantic adventures. A marriage for the pig this year is blessed with good omens. Family, always important to the pig, will be well taken care of and the home ruled by the pig will enjoy harmony and good fortune. Old business will be successful and new ventures will be fortunate.

My Physical Therapy!

2007-02-02T00:57:00.000-08:00

So how come nobody ever told me how awesome working out is?

Many of you may already know that I've started working out with a personal trainer for a six month health and fitness project for Frontiers magazine. Well, I've been working out with Ronn (my trainer) for about a week and a half now, and so far, it's rocking my world.

If you've been keeping up with my KenGetsFit blog, then you know that I had a myriad of issues "preventing" me from taking matters into my own hands and hitting the weights. All those old junior and high school memories of being picked on and humiliated in gym class kept re-emerging to haunt me over the years, and I let it keep me from doing something really wonderful for myself, even though I knew better. Insecurities are weird like that.

Well, last year, I finally decided that I'd had enough, and I pitched a six month-long project to Frontiers, and they ate it up. So they published an introductory story about me along with a terrible "before" shot (the photographer literally made me make myself look as slovenly and lethargic as possible for effect), and in the spring, they will run a follow-up story that tracks my progress. Then, in the summer, the project will come to an end, and there will be an "end piece" along with "after" pics. My goal is to be in good enough shape that I might even get to model a few swimsuits for their summer swimsuit issue! It gives me something to aspire to anyway.

At any rate, I'm having a blast working out with Ronn, who takes really good care of me and who is very attentive to my concerns and my inexperience with anything athletic. It's not easy by any stretch; there are nights when all I want to do is scream out in agony. Hell, sometimes I do. But I'm challenging myself in a way that I never have before, and it feels great to be able to start to make myself into the man I've always envisioned myself to be. It's not about being "hot." It's not about getting laid. It's not about being "butch." It's just about stepping up to the plate and doing something really positive and healthy for myself. And so far, I've never felt better about myself. Yay me!

Anyway, hope you get a chance to follow my workout blog! I'm having a blast writing it!

XOXO,

Hollywood Ken

Daniel Radcliffe Bares All!

2007-02-01T00:32:00.000-08:00

So, has anyone seen little Harry Potter lately? Holy hot future porn star!

OK, well, maybe not quite, but these publicity photos taken to promote his new play on the West End in London sure do paint a whole different picture of the boy we've come to know as the bespeckled wizard-in-training at Hogwart's! Gone are the glasses and "schoolboy" haircut, and in their place are muscles (the boy has abs!) and a more contemporary 'do. Hell, I'm not usually into younger guys, but I'd totally do him!

Looks like Harry is growing up rather quickly, which should make the next few Harry Potter films a lot more interesting to watch. Wouldn't you agree?

Check it out:

Catching Up... with the boys of RandyBlue.com

2006-12-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. It's been ages. But truth be told, I was having problems with my pics not uploading to my Blogger dashboard, and I just can't be doing a blog without PICTURES!

So, now that Blogger has merged with Google and there's a new beta version of it, I'm giving it a shot again to see if it works.

Last night, I went to Mickey's in West Hollywood, for Cocktails with the Stars. There, adult gay website RandyBlue.com was the featured "guest." Randy brought along several of his models, all hunks in the traditional sense, and all straight. Or at least as straight as boys who will willingly suck each other's cocks and get screwed in the butt for money can be, right? Anyway, I had two favorites, Chris Rockway and Alex Eden. Both were dark-haired and randy as all get-out. Here are a few pics to enjoy. Hope this works. If so. I'll be updating this blog a lot more often in the future.

Much love,
XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Shopgirl

2006-06-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

So, I just got done watching the movie Shopgirl, which I found to be rather wonderful in an endearingly quirky kind of way. It had a lot of very true things to say about the nature of relationships in today's world: How they can be unpredictable and how people can get hurt based on how much you are or aren't invested in those relationships. It got me to thinking about my life and all my friendships over time.

My life has been changing again for me lately. Bigger changes around the bend; I can feel it coming on. I usually get into this kind of pensive mood and really just want to be alone and chill out with myself (and my devoted kitty -- the love of my life) and really be present in the moment and enjoy life as it happens around me.That's something I haven't been very good at in the past -- being present. I'm always thinking ahead, or wondering how people think of me.

I have been noticing that as I get older I have these profound moments
of examining my life about once every year or so. I take stock, examine my faults, and then get on this "I must change" kick that lasts for a few months and yields some very cool results.

I finally got off my butt and signed up to take this weight training class over at Los Angeles Community College. I've been feeling very insecure about my body for a while now, especially living in L.A., Land of the Ken Dolls and Barbie Babes, but mostly, I just want to feel better about myself. I've always had what I refer to all "gym phobia" -- a fear of being laughed at, not fitting in, not being cool enough. It goes back to being that scrawny gay kid in high school that all the jocks made fun of. Gay men can be even more cruel and dismissive, always sizing each other up and seeing how much potential is there for sex. That's why I wanted to do this as far away from the gay community as possible. It's not about me being "hot." This is something I'm doing for myself, to feel better about myself, not to get more guys to sleep with. I'm kinda done with that, too. More on that below. Mostly, though, apart from the getting into shape thing, this has been more about just taking stock of who I am as a person and what kind of a friend I've been to people. And I sometimes wonder, "Have I been a very good friend?"

I think that I have. I've always been such a recluse in some ways. I think this came from holing myself up in my bedroom for long periods of time just escaping into television and HBO b/cuz my childhood was too depressing to think about. I missed out on friends and social techniques that would have aided me in my adulthood. This is evidently common among gay men. We spend so much of our younger years hiding who we are that we don't experience "adolescence" as straight people do until we hit our 20s and 30s.

I think that's true for me, and I think it has a lot to do with my failings as a friend.. I feel like I'm still only 17 or 18 in some regards, like I'm just now unlocking some of these secrets about dating and having friends that everyone else was privvy to much earlier in their lives. Obviously, everyone has it hard. We all go through these things in our own ways. I know it's not really a "gay" thing at all, but I do think it's common among us homos.

Anyway, I've really made an effort to open myself up to people lately, to really reach out to them and make an effort. At first I wondered if it was b/cuz, as I looked around my life and took stock of all the friends I had left, the list was rather short and skimpy. But again, as I've said in the past, that is something I am OK with. What I realized is that the reason I have so few friends at this stage in my life is that I've realized that most of my friendships have been built upon superficial foundations. I don't know that I've honestly given of myself to a lot of the people I've known along the way. I was always so concerned with things like "Are they going to think I'm cool enough?" to "Are they going to think I'm masculine enough?" to "Are they going to think I'm hot enough? that I never really lived in the moment with any of my friends, even the women. I was trying too hard to be liked, instead of just being myself.

I have made some great friends in the last couple years, some of whom stuck around, some of whom did not. I've really tried to step up to the plate and invovle myself more, to let go of my insecurities and just be myself. Sometimes when I feel myself letting go and really having fun with them, I get tense and start to retreat into my old ways, then I have to smack myself around a little in my head and force myself to get out of my head and get back into the moment. It's kind of funny how it happens, but I'm discovering that I'm much more aware of my actions that I have been in the past.

Taking responsibility for my failings as a friend and as a lover has really had an interesting effect on me. The other night, I met this really cool guy who I was instantly smitten with. As it turned out, he was a little taken with me as well, and at the end of the night, he asked me to go home with him. For a moment, I considered it, but then I thought, "I really need to get up for work tomorrow, and I know if I come over there we're going to be up late." In truth, while that was part of it, the bigger part was me thinking, "This guy seems like he's really 'in the zone' of wanting to have sex with me b/cuz he's intrigued by me right now, but I know that if I give in to this right now, chances are the mystery will be over before I've put my pants and I'll never hear from him again. And who knows what I might have helped kill by not allowing myself to want more than that?"

So far, the guy has been in touch, which is cool. Maybe we'll even go out. Maybe we won't. The cool part, though, is that I didn't dive right in and sabotage yet another possiblity. It was a grown-up moment for me. I only hope I can continue discovering these things with my friends as well, as I begin investing myself in the relationships I have with people more fully.

So there you have it. A stream-of-consciousness rambling from yours truly. Kinda long, I know, but that's what stream-of-consciousness ramblings are all about, right? Taking apart the thoughts in your head and trying to make sense of your life.

Here's to me being a better friend, and a better person in general.

XOXO,
HollywoodKen

The 10-Second Madonna Review

2006-06-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

I posted this in a thread on Madonna's Icon message board as a way to encourage some dicussion of Madonna's music. Everybody started chiming in with their own reviews of Madonna's albums, and it's pretty funny to see what folks have to say about her stuff. I know some people are gonna scream over Erotica being at the bottom, but oh well... it's just what I think...

Anyway, here's my critical rundown of all her CDs... with * ratings, 5 (*****) being the highest.

First Place and Sentimental favorite: Like a Prayer -- no frickin' contest! It's still her strongest and boldest artistic statement ever. ****and 1/2 out of 5

A Close Second: Ray of Light - Revisionist Madonna, claiming spirituality and growing up. ****1/4

Third Place: Confessions On a Dance Floor - Madonna as disco queen, never having so much fun. ****

Fourth Place: Madonna - The one that started it all. Simple, sometimes dated, but oh-so-lovely. ****

Fifth Place: American Life - Madonna becomes a folksinger and makes her strongest emotional impact yet; too bad folks just didn't get it. ****

Sixth Place: Music -- Wildly uneven, but shows Madonna having FUN again for the first time since Bedtime Stories; responsible for two of her best, most mature singles: "Don't Tell Me" and "What It Feels Like for a Girl". ***1/2

Seventh Place: Bedtime Stories - Sexy, sensual R&B; like American Life, often sorely underrated. ***1/2

Eigth Place: True Blue - Madonna's first stab at social commentary and reinvention; pure nostalgic fun - especially the title track. ***

Ninth Place: I'm Breathless - Silly, nonsensical, and seemingly throw-away, this is one of Madonna's biggest risks, and the gamble pays off in spades. Her vocals on "What Can You Lose" are some of the strongest of her career. ***

Tenth Place: Like a Virgin - Uneven, overly simplistic, and with few standouts (save for "Angel" and the title track); probably her silliest -- and most dated -- record ever. **1/2

Eleventh Place: Erotica - "Revisionist" faux disco too obsessed with sex and Shep Pettibone's ho-hum "the songs all sound the same" production; often leaves much to be desired; still, "Erotica," "Rain" and "Bye Bye Baby" are enough to (almost) sustain it. **1/2

In Praise of the First Kiss

2006-06-16T16:11:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm sorry, but is there anything hotter than kissing? I mean, really.

Today something really hot happened. Someone I've known for a while--several years, in fact--who I've been friends with during that time, has recently gone from casual friend to sexual acquaintance. And today we had our first kiss. Hot!

Now this is not something I saw coming. Not in the least. "J" and I have palled around each other for the past two years, going to events and having lunch and whatnot without any trace of sexual attraction. Or so I thought. And then, just the other day, I saw him again and there was this DING! DING! DING! in my head, like some switch had been flipped all of a sudden, and I saw him in a whole brand new light. Suddenly he was HOT, and I wanted to go mouth-to-mouth with him in a big way.

I suppose to be totally honest, there had been some kind of vague flirtation here and there, but maybe I just wasn't in the right head space to see it. Who knows? Oh well. I suppose I wasn't ready for it.

Anyway, today, finally, after a few days of flirtatious banter back and forth via IM and text messages (yes, I'm a text message freak!), we sealed the deal. And it wasn't one of those romantic "let's build up to it" moments; it was a full-on, passionate, "we've been dying to do this for days" kiss. You know the one: it's the kind that is both amazing and anti-climactic, because there's been so much heat building up to it that you have all these expectations, but at the same time it's not what you expected and you don't realize until a few seconds later--when you do it again--how good it was.

And it was niiiiiiiice...

It's so funny how the sensation of two mouths together can be such a beautiful, erotic, sensual experience. Like who thought of that? How did the very first people who ever kissed figure out that if they put their mouths together, it would create this amazing sensation in your body? Did the cave dwellers of prehistoric times partake of this? When did it become the "in" thing to do? I just think that it's quite possibly one of the most revolutionary inventions in human history. Amazing how industrious we are as a race, iddn't it? We just figure these things out in our heads and go for it. Gotta love human ingenuity.

Well, sometimes anyway.

Now I don't know if this little occurance between my buddy and I will amount to anything substantive. He's kind of embroiled in an on-again-off-again thing with someone, and me, I'm just off in La-La Land right now not really in the market for anything (though God knows my options are open), so it's anyone's guess where things go from here. But at the moment, my head is buzzing and I'm a little bit dizzy from the excitement of what just happened not more than 40 minutes ago, and I just felt the need to come on here and type out an ode to kissing.

Kissing rocks! :)

A Great Recipe!

2006-06-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

Don't worry; I'm not turning this into a cooking blog or anything, but I did happen to make my not-so world famous biscuit and baked bean casserole this past weekend for a Memorial Day picnic I went to, and people always ask me how I made it, so I thought I'd go ahead and post the recipe here in case anyone wants to try it out. It's easy as hell to make, and people go ga-ga over it. This dish is not for those who are on a carb-conscious diet, but they will LOVE you at family picnics and barbecues if you bring this:

KEN'S BISCUIT & BAKED BEAN CASSEROLE

3 half-sized cans of Bush's baked beans
1 lb ground hamburger (or meat substitute of your choice)
1/2 medium sized red onion
1/2 red pepper
1/2 green pepper
1 cup barbecue sauce (hickory brown sugar is best)
1/2 cup shredded cheese of your choice
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
2 containers Pillsbury Flaky Gold biscuits

Sautee hamburger, onion and peppers and chili powder (I use olive oil; sometimes I add a bit of nutmeg or cinammon), then mix into large casserole dish along with baked beans. Add barbecue sauce and stir.

Arrange biscuits on top as a "crust," then sprinkle with cheddar cheese to desired amount and bake at 410 until biscuits are golden brown on top.

Serves about 10-12 people. Yummy!

Chico's Angels Returns!

2006-05-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

I'm going to "break form" and do something a little different this time. One of my favorite underground theater shows, Chico's Angels, is getting ready to return to L.A. with the third installment, and I am so excited I thought I would post the story I wrote on the show here for all you folks to read. If any of you are in L.A., you absolutely MUST come out and see this show. It's one of the funniest things you'll ever see. (P.S. All the photos included in this post were taken by yours truly.)

ANGELS FROM HELL

The underground sensation Chico’s Angels returns with the world premiere of its campiest episode yet, Chicas in Chains.

In a small black-box theater in the basement of Los Angeles Mexican restaurant Casita del Campo, a cold-blooded killer is on the loose. Just as he is about to make his big getaway, however, three “female” private detectives in high heels spring up on him, pull out their guns, flip back their hair, and yell, “Stop, or I’ll choot!” It can only mean one thing: Chico’s Angels, the uproariously successful underground hit that spoofs a certain ‘70s TV sensation, is back.

Having delighted audiences with two previous “episodes” that debuted in early 2004, the live series about “three little Latin girls who went to the police academy”—and failed to graduate—is set to continue with the long-awaited premiere of its third installment, Chicas in Chains. Co-written once again by self-professed Charlie’s Angels fanatic Oscar Quintero (who plays the blundering Kay Sedia) and director Kurt Koehler, the new installment continues to put its trio of detectives in a series of humiliating situations for the sake of solving a case.

This time out, the Angels go undercover as high schoolers in order to find the coed hooker who witnessed an unsolved murder—and end up getting tossed in the slammer for solicitation. Fans of Charlie’s Angels may recognize the scenario, which Koehler says was taken from two classic episodes. “We’ve taken the basic premise of the original, and cha-cha-fied everything,” Koehler explains. “In this one, we’re lampooning a bunch of Broadway musicals, so if Charlie’s Angels were ever a Broadway musical with Latino men playing the roles, um, this is what you would see.”

It’s that kind of riotous and twisted spin on a nostalgic guilty pleasure that has made Chico’s Angels a breakout success at the Cavern Club Theater, routinely playing to sold-to-capacity crowds during sporadic limited engagements. The brainchild of Quintero (who says he became a fan by sharing a bedroom with two Angels-addicted sisters), Chico’s Angels spins bitchy drag sensibility, colorful camp excess, and retro zeitgeisty fun into comic gold. Originally conceived as a film, the show was quickly refashioned as a stageplay when Cavern Club manager Mr. Dan encouraged Quintero to do it live. “I didn’t see that at all,” Quintero laughs, adding that it was Koehler who helped him see how it could work in front of an audience instead of cameras. Confirms Koehler, “I’m such a theater queen that I said, ‘We are doing it live and we’re going to do it really cheesy!’” (Thus, an airplane flight is represented by tugging a plastic toy plane across the stage on a clothes wire as the Angels bicker in a recorded voice-over, while high-speed boat chases are played out in a similarly “low-rent” way.)

After debuting in January of 2004, the show became an instant hit, with audiences frequently picking favorites among the three wacky Angels, who also include the serious-minded Chita Parol (Martin Matamoros in the “Sabrina” role) and the promiscuous Frieda Lay (Danny C. subbing for Farrah—minus the skateboard). “We wanted to do what they did in the movie and create three original characters: the smart one, the slutty one, and the dumb one,” says Quintero. “They always solve the case, but it’s always strictly by accident.”

Another thing audiences do is carry on during shows, shouting and commenting on the action and provoking the actors to break character. “I always break,” confesses Quintero. “I make such an effort not to, but the audience loves that.” And that’s half the fun, according to these cut-ups. “I think the reason we break is because we’re surprised the audience laughs so much at something,” Danny C. chuckles. “You hold your pose waiting for the audience to die down, and then they don’t and it gets you thinking, ‘Wow, I guess that was funny.’” For his part, Koehler couldn’t be happier that the show has been a hit on stage. “That’s the whole magic of live theater—the connection you have with the audience,” he declares. “It really peps you up when they say, ‘Places.’ You get so excited. Of course, the margaritas from the bar help.”

The cast is aware of their cult following—claiming that they’ve seen audience members return up to four times per episode—and are anxious to see it go even further. Though he confesses that he feared that they’d run out of ideas after wrapping up last year’s Love Boat Chicas (“I thought, ‘How do you solve another case with three airheads?’” he laughs), Quintero is still anxious to see the shows immortalized on film. “We’d love to take it on Comedy Central or one of the new gay TV networks,” he professes. Koehler agrees, adding, “We got ourselves into a rut thinking we’d written everything. But we really haven’t; this can keep on going.” (Meanwhile, the two comic hams have also paired for the film short Taco Chick and Salsa Girl, a spoofy vamp on the Kroft Superstars show Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.)

All involved concur that, while their show spoofs Charlie’s Angels, it’s done with nothing but love. “We’re all huge fans of [the original show]” admits Koehler, who adds that the cast has recieved validation of the highest form: “We had one of the writers from the [original] show come to see Chico’s Angels, and he practically fell off his seat from laughter. We felt like that was one of our biggest compliments.” Then, without missing a beat, he adds, “Of course, maybe he had just had too many margaritas and thought he wrote the show.”

Not that anyone’s complaining, Koehler stresses: “Hell, we’ll take that.”

“Chico’s Angels 3: Chicas in Chains” will debut at the Cavern Club Celebrity Theatre at Casita del Campo (1920 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake) on May 12. For more information, see www.cavernclubtheater.com or www.padprod.com.

Theater Review: Sandra Bernhard's 'Everything Bad and Beautiful'

2006-04-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

On March 29, one of my favorite cutting-edge performers, the incomparable Sandra Bernhard, opened her latest show, Everything Bad and Beautiful, at the Darryl Roth Theater in New York City. It's great to have Sandy back on Off-Broadway (where she truly belongs), so in celebration of the diva's return, I am posting my review of the Los Angeles production of EBAB, which I attended last March. Hope some of you folks get a chance to check the show out in NYC. Wish I was there!

Sandra Bernhard
Everything Bad and Beautiful
Silent Movie Theatre, Los Angeles. Through March 25 (2005).

In her latest stage show, La Bernhard ditches the stream-of-consciousness improv rants that have dominated (and cluttered) her last few tours for a return to the scripted monologues and anecdotal storytelling that have defined her most notable shows, the classic Without You I’m Nothing (1988) and her 1992 off-Broadway comeback I’m Still Here Damn It.

Though much was made over her alleged inclusion of “greatest hits” material, Everything Bad and Beautiful was largely made up of brand new monologues and stories, with only a few brief references to shows past. The title was also somewhat of a misnomer, as there was less of the “bad” on hand (Bernhard’s biting social commentary was in tact for a few early rants against Barbara Bush and Condeleeza Rice, while a pointed but well-intended jab at Britney Spears’ interest in the Kabballah elicited chuckles) and a lot more of the “beautiful” to take up the slack—complete with Bernhard opening the show with an irony-free rendition of Christina Aguiler’s “Beautiful” that immediately brought the crowd (which included Jennifer Tilly, Gilmore Girls’ Melissa McCarthy, and, of course, tons of gay men) to its feet.

This was a kindler, gentler Bernhard, one who finds maternal joy in watching daughter Cicely sleeping at night and who revels in getting in touch with her spiritual nature. Though her trips down memory lane as a hairdresser in 1970s Los Angeles and her commentary on trendy L.A. hipsters (“It’s so nice to be back in my wonderful L.A., where the people are real,” she deadpanned) were amusing, it was in the many musical numbers that Bernhard truly shined. Her fascination with Prince and his Revolution-era crew continued in a medley of tunes that included “I Would Die 4 U” and Sheila E.’s “The Glamorous Life” (complete with a surprisingly solid glow-in-the-dark drumstick solo from Sandy herself), while her take on “Like a Rolling Stone” was almost right up there with Dylan’s himself.

Looking fabulous in a sultry flowered dress and done-up hair (which she later shook out after changing into a ratty pair of jeans and a T-shirt—onstage no less!), Bernhard channeled her inner soul diva and recreated the twisted hybrid of standup and cabaret that she’s come to perfect over the years. Though some fans may long for the catty gossiper who once had the gall and gumption to rake both the Village Voice’s Laurie Stone and Tom Cruise over the coals in shows past, Everything Bad and Beautiful demonstrated that—even if she’s lost a bit of her cynic’s edge—Bernhard still knows how to keep audiences on their toes while waiting to see if she’ll deliver. And she does. True, she might be a bit hesitant in bringing in da noise, but it’s clearly evident that our Sandy is still ever-ready to bring in da funk.—Ken Knox

Porn Stars and Spaghetti

2006-04-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

So this is my La-La Life.

I'm sitting in my apartment waiting for the phone to ring on a Sunday night. The out-of-town porn star I've been having an on-and-off love affair with is in town again, and he's told me he wants to get together so we can hang out. I'm picturing a romantic dinner down at my favorite romantic restaurant on Melrose, the Bungalow Club, a pseudo-fancy eatery that has several semi-private bungalow-style booths that you can sit at. With candles and good weather, it's the perfect place for playing footsie under the table.

The problem is that it's nearly 8:30, and Mr. XXX hasn't called yet. He was to be shooting a scene earlier in the day, some threeway with two other guys whose pictures he hadn't seen yet but who had specifically requested him as their scene partner. I can't imagine the scene having gone past three or four hours to shoot; after all, Chi Chi LaRue is directing, and she's pretty damn efficient when it comes to sex. But here it is, going on 9pm, and no Mr. XXX. It's not unlike him, though. Two years ago, when we first started hanging out, he stood me up on our second date because, as he later explained, he had told his boyfriend back home about meeting me, and the boyfriend was not very happy that the porn star he was involved in an open relationship with had hooked up with a guy who wasn't paying him to have sex. Yeah, it didn't make much sense to me either. Then, a year later, when I was visting the east coast in order to attend my 15th year high school reunion, Mr. XXX and I were to have hooked up for the first time in about five or six months. Except he never returned any of my phone calls that time either. Apparently porn stars have some kind of deep-seated phobia of both phones and keeping their engagements.

Anyway, by 9:15, I realize that Mr. XXX is not going to call, and I'm not very happy about it. It's not like I'm just some random fan who wants to get into his pants. I mean, we've actually shared a very special bond together, apart from the weekend of wild, passionate sex we had in Palm Springs two years ago. Which, by the way, was pretty damn nice. It's true; porn stars do have better sex.

As I realize that I've been stood up by Mr. XXX for the third time, I'm feeling pretty low. That's it, I tell myself. This is the straw breaking this camel's proverbial back. I'm not putting up with this kind of treatment any more. I deserve better.

Besides, I remind myself as I curl up on the couch with a pint of Hagen-Daaz ice cream, the latest episode of Gilmore Girls and my cat Masha, I'm an entertainment journalist covering the porn business. I can always say bad things about him in print if I want to.

I smile as I tell myself that it's times like these that it's good to be someone in a position of influence.

* * *

"I need comfort food!" I declare to my best buddy Mike the next evening. "I need to drown my sorrows in food that I know is not good for my girlish figure."

Mike knows what I'm talking about. Having recently not been able to find work in Hollywood, he has been dragging me to various fast food restaurants of his choice in order to comfort his broke-ass soul. Just last week I was forced to go online and research restuarants that served fish and chips because, for some bizarre reason that only Jacques Cousteau and his minions know for sure, there are no Arthur Treachers or Long John Silver's chains located in the city of L.A. or its immediate surroundings. When we finally found such a place -- H. Salt Fish and Chips in Studio City -- it is the kind of tiny dive on the corner that serves deep fried amalgamations of fish, shrimp and hush puppies, with so much batter on them that you can smell the eventual heartattack from Arizona. After finishing off my "Triple Catch" (which consisted of three prawns of "shrimp," a fillet of some kind of sea urchin and fries), Mike finished off the last hush puppy and said, "Thanks for bringing me here, Ken. You're a true friend."

So now it's my turn to drag Mike somewhere that's good for the soul but bad for the waistline, and I choose the Old Spaghetti Factory on Sunset Boulevard. Not that it's the unhealthiest place I can think of or anything, but because eating carbs in this town is comparable to giving up names of Communists during the McCarthy hearings -- just so wrong -- and the idea of rebelling against such body-conscious fascism is always an exercise in fun for me.

When I tell Mike about Mr. XXX standing me up the night before, he is his characteristically droll self. "Maybe you simultaneously disgust him and turn him on," he offers, then laughing hysterically at this display of unsentimentality as our server sets a plate of bruschetta down in front of us.

"Yes, that must be it," I deadpan, wondering again why I bother telling my troubles to the friend I've nicknamed The Ice Queen. "I'm just bummed that he didn't even call to say he couldn't make it. Like my time didn't matter to him. Like I didn't matter."

"Yeah, but he's a porn star. They're supposed to be flakes. If they weren't, then self-righteous, less attractive guys like you and me wouldn't have anyone to complain about, right?"

"Oh, Mike. You know how to say just the right things to mend a broken heart."

"I try, girl. I try." Then he reaches for the last piece of bruschetta, but suddenly pulls his hand back. "You can have it," he offers, apparently as an act of kindness in my moment of need. "Maybe getting fat will take your mind off porn stars. Then you can obsess over something else instead."

It's not exactly the gesture of compassion I was looking for, but it'll do.

And this, my friends, is my La-La Life.

Eric and Levi: An Evening of Gay Acoustica

2006-03-20T02:30:00.000-08:00

So tonight my buddy Kevin and I went down to the Mint on Pico Blvd. to check out two very talented singer-songwriters, Eric Himan and Levi Kreis, both of whom I've written stories about. I've seen Levi perform before, but have never seen Eric play live. What an experience. Himan (a fellow Pennsylvanian who currently lives in Pittsburgh) is one helluva talent, with an expressive voice and extremely competent guitar playing. His songs are at once emotionally resonant and unforgettable. He's such a softie, which I love. The irony is that on the outside, he looks like that sh#t-kicking bad-ass you always wanted to get it on with. (Talk about the perfect combination, right?)

Eric started the evening, performing a great set of some of his best tunes. At one point, he invited Levi up onstage with him for a cover of Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" that was way cool. Eric's voice even carried a bit of that Collins weight in it, and Levi's forboding piano work provided a haunting backbone to the song. Seeing these two extremely talented men sharing the stage together was quite the experience, and it's obvious the sold-out crowd thought so as well, as they clapped and whistled like crazy when the song was over.

Then Levi took the stage, and let me tell you: WHOA! I've seen Levi play before, but never like this. There was just something, um, "in the air tonight" with him. He came to life in a way he hadn't at the Zephyr Theatre earlier this winter. This time, when he performed tunes like "I Should Go," "With You" and especially "Lonely Sunday Morning," his words -- and especially his gorgeous voice -- reached right into my chest and twisted my heart around. I had to wipe my eyes a few times during his set. Afterwards, Kev and I hung about and chatted with both Eric and Levi, as well as my buddy, Misadventures in the (213) author Dennis Hensley, who was also there to see the show. Eric was such a stone-cold fox with his tattoos and all, but it's that boy's smile that just lights up the room when he's onstage. Not to mention his music. It's a good thing that boy lives in Pittsburgh, 'cuz I gotta tell ya... I'd probably be stalking him if he lived here in L.A. God knows if Levi was ever in town long enough for the two of us to hang out, he might never get away from me. :)

Anyway, it was a dang good night. And for those who haven't yet discovered what amazing singer-songwriters these two openly gay hotties create, make sure you check out their MySpace pages (links above).

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

The GAYVNS: The Oscars of Gay Porn

2006-03-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

Just four days after the Oscar Awards, I was off to yet another awards ceremony. But the awards in this event were not being handed out for excellence in Hollywood filmmaking, but for excellence in something entirely different.

The GAYVN Awards are held annually at RAGE nightclub in West Hollywood. Honoring the best in gay porn, they are the year's biggest, most fabulous event, often irking those who cannot get in (the guest list is notoriously limited to nominees, press and AVN/GAYVN staff). As exclusive and "prestigious" as the event is, though, it's really not much more than an excuse for folks to get sloshed at the free bar and ogle at the (fully dressed!) porn stars who mingle about. The award "show" itself is a joke. Host Chi Chi LaRue (God love her) plows through the awards so fast that there's barely time for her to catch her breath, and there are none of the fun and games in the form of comedic sketches that populate the Oscars (and even the AVN Awards, which are held annually every January in Vegas). Not that I should complain. As one of the GAYVN judges, I get to attend the event and even flirt with some of my favorite porn stars. Though it sucked that I had to wait in line for 35 frickin' minutes to get my food, I really can't say that I had a bad time.

For the most part, I spent the evening hanging out with my good buddy Kelly, otherwise known in the porn world as Tag Adams. Being from the same hometown, Kelly and I (who, for the record, did not meet until just two years ago, 3,000 miles away from Gettysburg, PA) have a rather humorous outlook on the "glamour" of the gay porn world. It's easy to get caught up in, but we recognize it for what it is and we enjoy ourselves accordingly. (Read: We sit in the corner and whisper about how tragic everyone else is... KIDDING! We love you all!) This year, Kelly wasn't even going to show up. But, since he had just signed an exclusive contract with Raging Stallion Studios, RSS decided to fly him down to get a headstart on promoting their hot new stable boy. As it turns out, it was a good move: Kelly was there to accept his award for Best Oral Scene for his work in Falcon's Bang Bang. (Yup, he was essentially deemed the year's best c*cksucker. Gotta love the gay porn awards.)

There weren't really any "upsets" like at the Oscars. Everyone had pretty much predicted that either Chi Chi's Wrong Side of the Tracks or Michael Lucas' triple-X remake of Dangerous Liaisons would walk off with Best Picture. As it happens, both movies won the award in a tie. What's funny is that Chi Chi and Michael can't stand each other. Michael is always saying horrible things about Chi Chi (and basically everyone else) in his notoriously addictive blog, and Chi Chi does her best to hold her tongue and take the high road. But when these two stood onstage next to each other while accepting the award they had both won, it was priceless. You could cut the tension with a butter knife; it was that palpable. When Lucas accepted his award, he thanked all the judges who'd voted for him and then told all those who hadn't to "f*ck off." Oh my! And then, as if that wasn't hysterical enough, an obviously inebriated J.D. Slater (porn legend-turned-Raging Stallion-partner) took it upon himself to stage a one-man revolt and started throwing ice at Lucas. (He later apologized to Lucas, and this week sent out an email to everyone in the industry apologizing for his obvious lapse in judgment.)

I was a bit disappointed in some of the winning titles. Personally, I thought Best Sex Scene (Duo) should have gone to the brilliant seduction sequence between Spencer Quest and Luke Pearson in Joe Gage's amazing 110° in Tucson, while (allegiance to Kelly aside), I thought that the sizzling chemistry between Ken Mack and Damon DeMarco (my new porn crush) in Gage's Alabama Takedown should have taken the top honors in the Best Oral Scene. but what can I do? I can only vote. Hell, if I had my way, Joe Gage would have won in every category he was nominated in. As much as I love Chi Chi, Michael Lucas, Steven Scarborough and all the others, nobody in this business understands the true nature of sexuality like Gage does. He is the master at staging realistic seduction scenes that make me feel like I'm reliving my first time all over again. The man is simply the best porn director who's ever lived. But, even though not all of my picks got picked, I was all to happy to stand around checking out all the eye candy. And when you've got dirty-boy studs like Tim Rusty and Jacob Slader making out on the RAGE patio with their shirts off (that's them, pictured above left), it simply doesn't get much better than that.

After the awards, we made our way over to the Abbey for Chi Chi's after-party. We had to wait in lines for what seemed like HOURS (in fact, it was at least 30-45 mins) to get in (yes, even someone as "powerful" as myself had to wait in line, but so did Steven Scarborough), but once we were inside, it was more free liquor (oh, how I love free liquor!) and even more hot men to look at. (Colton Ford was there! Colton Ford was there! Yup, that's him above on the left with Kelly and daddy of my wet dreams Parker Williams.) Chi Chi was spinning some pretty good music (in addition to her usual selection of Pat Benatar and Joan Jett, she even played E.G. Daily's remake of Donna Summer's "Sunset People"), and everyone -- even those who didn't win awards -- seemed to be in jovial spirits. Then again, when you've got an open bar and some of the world's hottest men crammed into a tight space together, it's kinda hard not to crack a smile.

Though I hear that lots of people ended up at Chi Chi's condo for an after-after-party that lasted until sunrise, Kelly and I decided to ditch the festivities after about an hour and a half and go for a bite over at Canter's Deli. Which suited me just fine. After all, there really is just so much that a red-blooded gay man can take in before his head threatens to explode from overload. An evening of sex and debauchery with a bunch of award-winning porno studs might seem like every gay man's fantasy, but a late-night snack of a turkey burger and fries (with ranch, of course) with one of my favorite people in the world was just what this former dirty puppy needed to bring the night to a close. After all, there's always next year for sex and debauchery. True friendship doesn't come so easily.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

A Belated Oscar Night Post

2006-03-17T13:02:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a couple weeks since the Oscar Awards came and went. Now that the smoke has cleared and the dust settled, though, I think that many are still left wondering: What the hell happened? Of course, I'm speaking of the night's major upset, the out-of-nowhere win for Best Picture usurped by Crash that should have gone -- by almost all accounts -- to Brokeback Mountain.

Almost as soon as the event was over, pundits began speculating over the reasons for the upset: Since most Oscar voters live in and around Los Angeles, a movie that specifically addressed the "L.A. experience" like Crash spoke to them more than one that dealt with rural life. Or perhaps people felt that Brokeback's widespread critical acclaim and the momentum it had gained in mainstream society was getting out of hand, and they rebelled against conventional widsom. Or maybe the movie just turned off too man older male voters who were not yet ready to see two cowboys getting it on at their local movie house. (Of course, an aggressive Oscar campaign that included DVD copies of the film being sent to every single voter didn't hurt.)

Personally, I think that there is something to be said for all of these reasons, and I think all of them had a hand in the Oscar upset. And I'm pretty pissed off about it, too. To me, it feels like a rather blatant slap in the face, especially since Brokeback had won the top honor at virtually every other awards ceremony leading up to the Oscars. And to give the film major Oscars for Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Director, then deny it the big award just seemed like a big, fat, resounding kick in the nuts. What angers me most of all is that if you look at the critical response to Brokeback and Crash, Ang Lee's film had the advantage. It was, in fact, the best-reviewed film of 2005. By contrast, Crash, with its ridiculously convenient coincidences and obvious superiority complex ("Look how enlightened we are for talking about racism! Oh, by the way, you should all be ashamed of yourselves, you bunch of racists!"), was received tepidly by critics, with mixed reviews keeping it from winning all the adulation that went to Brokeback.

Look, I liked Crash. When I first saw it, in fact, I loved it. It made me feel. It made me think. I saw the world differently when I left the theater. I felt as if I, too, had been in a crash of some kind. I usually dig that kind of experience. But the more I thought about the movie, the more its many flaws began to reveal themselves to me. I realized that I had mistaken spectacle for depth, and it was then that I figured out that I had been manipulated into feeling an emotion that the film didn't earn on its own merits. It didn't tell a story; it forced one upon us. True, the acting in the film is nearly flawless on all accounts (it's a crime that Thandie Newton was not nominated for Best Supporting Actress), and that scene where Matt Dillon pulls Newton out of the overturned car is one of the most riveting I've ever sat through. But what bothers me about the movie now are all the little coincidences that populate it. Everything was too easy. Everything worked out just right at just the right time. "Oh, look how all these characters are interconnected and how they come into each other's lives at just the right moment. Amazing, huh? It really is a small world, isn't it?" (Actually, not so much.)

On the opposite end of the spectrum was Brokeback, a film of such serene gentleness that its profound impact got lost on viewers bowled over by Crash's heavy-handed histrionics. "Brokeback was too slow," people keep saying. "The middle section of it was dull." As a screenwriter, it saddens me to see that people can be so restless, so enslaved by the ADD that Hollywood has inflicted upon them with too many action films. Apparently movies have to have high-speed car chases, things blowing up and bank robberies in order to be judged entertaining. Simple films, eloquent films, true-to-life films about everyday ordinariness are deemed to be "boring" and "pretentious." (I can't tell you how many otherwise intelligent people dismiss Sofia Coppola's brilliant Lost in Translation as nothing more than arthouse dreck, or the legions of Sideways-haters who couldn't connect to that film's many radiant charms.) Brokeback, with its understated performanes and languid pacing, delivered a message just as profound as that featured in Crash, but it did it without the heavy-handed ironies and the chest-thumping..

The Golden Globes got it right when they snubbed Crash, failing to give it even a nomination. And yet it still snuck up on Brokeback and stole the Best Picture Oscar right out from under it. And I'm mad. I'm mad that Oscar voters thumbed their noses at the chance to make what could honestly have been a move for change. Brokeback, being the "big fat chick flick" that many are dismissing it as, may not be the most original movie ever made (yes, we've all seen the tragic love story before), but what it has going for it was its willingness to tell an authentic story of societal oppression's squelching of true love. Forget all the criticsm that the movie's tragic ending perpetuates the notion that gay love leads to unhappiness (such ridiculously reductive sentiments are usually only made by those who are all too happy playing the victim, it must be said); Brokeback showed those open enough to listen that love is something to be seized and celebrated, and it did it without being obvious about it. Its subtlety (like its simple, "boring" narrative) was its most powerful asset.

So what's next for gay and lesbian films? Well, we've got a surprisingly poignant German coming-out story (Summer Storm) hitting theaters March 24, and March 31 brings Craig Chester's amusing romantic comedy Adam & Steve. Sadly, both of these films will probably be relegated to quick arthouse releases, and it could be years before another film of Brokeback's magnitude is able to "break through" to the mainstream again. If the Oscars taught us anything, thought, it's that perhaps the world is simply not ready for such subject matter to be displayed on movie screens all over the country. And, far more than Brokeback's ending, that is a profoundly sad statement about society to be made.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

P.S: Don't forget to check out my brand new TV blog by clicking here!

Oscar This!: My 2006 Academy Award Predictions!

2006-03-02T00:18:00.000-08:00

Hello again. Dang, it's been so long since my last post. What a bad, bad blogger I've been lately, huh? I'll post another update soon (promise), but for now, I want to get on to something very important... Oscar Predictions! Yep, folks, since it's just about that time again. Time when film fanatics get antsy, offices hold Oscar pools and Hollywood pats itself on the back for all the good work they've done (and hey, why not?). This year's Oscars promise to be one of the more interesting races in recent years, especially with the depth of talent that is nominated. Indie films seem to be the most represented of the nominees, with nods to Brokeback Mountain (Focus Features), Capote (Sony Pictures Classics), Crash (Lion's Gate) and Good Night, and Good Luck (Warner Independent Films). And with gay or gay-themed films represented in all the top categories, the 2006 Oscars could be a major victory for the gay community. I'm placing my bets on the following nominees to walk off the winners. See if any of these match your picks, and post your comments. Looking forward to seeing what you have to say.

Without further ado, here we go...

KEN'S 2006 OSCAR PREDICTIONS

BEST PICTURE: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Having seen all the picture nominees, and having liked all of them to
some degree, I have to go with Brokeback Mountain, not only b/cuz it is, at the moment, possibly the most culturally significant of the bunch (after that landslide defeat of gay marriage initiatives in those 2004 elections, an old-fashioned Hollywood love story about two men whose love for each other is devastated by homophobia is a subtle but powerful way to give the finger to bigots across the country), but b/cuz it is the most understated, eloquent and simply beautiful of the bunch. Good Night, And Good Luck was, to me, too sparse, too simple, too small. Capote was more of an actor's movie than it was a story movie. Munich was good, but just didn't hit all the right notes. And Crash, as much as I loved it and its message, was just a tad bit overwrought for my tastes in its well-intended but often manipulative depiction of race relations in the big city, and I think that might work against its chances. Brokeback, on the other hand, with its simple, elegiac narrative and uniformly understated performances, was the most haunting--and also the most profound--of the nominees. Add to that the wealth of critical accolades being tossed at the movie, and I think it's a safe bet to say that, this year, Hollywood is "going gay." (And really, it's about f#cking time. Haha)

BEST DIRECTOR: ANG LEE

Though I thought Steven Spielberg did a superb job with Munich (I love the very 1970s feel the movie had, not only in the costumes and settings, but in the film's relatively languid pacing, which reminded me of The China Syndrome and All the President's Men), I don't think Munich is showy enough for him to win the Oscar. That leaves Paul Haggis, Bennett Miller, George Clooney and Ang Lee. Good Night, And Good Luck will most likely be shut out of all the categories it is nominated in (i's just too small a film by Academy-standards to win an Oscar for anything major), and Capote isn't as lofty as most Oscar-winning films usually are. In another year, Paul Haggis might have walked off for managing several interweaving storylines in Crash, but there is simply no beating Ang Lee, who not only delivered the year's most genuinely heartbreaking love story, but he wrestled the finest performances of the year out of his cast.

BEST ACTOR: PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN

My personal favorite is Heath Ledger, not only b/cuz his portrayal of a straight cowboy (truly, I don't think his character is really "gay") in love with another man is a show-stopping marvel of explosive longing, but also b/cuz he's one of only 2 men nominated in this category that created a role out of scratch. But the Academy loves anything showy, which means that Philip Seymour Hoffman's tour de force as Truman Capote will walk away the winner. Which means that Terrence Howard (a wonder in the brilliant Hustle & Flow), Joaquin Phoenix (damn good, but the movie was just so-so) and David Strathairn (exceptionally good, but Good Night's smallness is working against him) will have to be content just clapping along with Ledger as Hoffman makes another acceptance speech. On the bright side, this means that 3 out of 4 of the awards in the top categories will go to a gay-themed project.

BEST ACTRESS: REESE WITHERSPOON

OK, let's talk the losers. Keira Knightley is luminescent in Pride & Prejudice, but at 20, she will have plenty of chances ahead of her. Apart from that, she's up against some powerhouse talent, namely Judi Dench (who, many have said, simply "phoned it in" for Mrs. Henderson Presents), Charlize Theron (who already won for her other ugly-woman role in Monster), and front-runners Felicity Huffman and Reese Witherspoon. Though Huffman deserves the award for not only her woman-as-a-man-becoming-a-woman tour de force in Transamerica but also for all the years this brilliant actress has been overlooked by TV and movies, I think that Witherspoon will be the lone major win for Walk the Line. Let's face it: she's American's Sweetheart (aka box office gold) right now, and the Academy just may feel compelled to make sure they hand out a statuette to at least one movie nominated in the major categories that was a bona-fide hit.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: GEORGE CLOONEY

I have to say, I was very glad to see Jake Gyllenhaal recognized in this category. Though much of the acting praise for Brokeback has been heaped upon Heath Ledger, Gyllenhaal is really the glue that holds the movie together. His puppy-dog-in-love performance simply wreaks of vulnerability and ruffian charm, but I think he will be dismissed as just playing "second fiddle" to his co-star. That leaves Matt Dillon, Paul Giamatti, William Hurt and George Clooney. Though Dillon deserves major kudos for once again playing against type as the sadistic cop in Crash, he's not the type of actor that usually finds himself up for Oscar awards. And as unfair as this might be to say, I think that will work against him. He's Matt Dillon, the guy from Little Darlings and The Outsiders. Teen hunk getting older. I don't know that people take him that seriously. William Hurt, on the other hand, is an Oscar vet, having won for Kiss of the Spider Woman and been nominated two other times. But his work in A History of Violence amounts to just 10 minutes of screen time. Paul Giamatti has finally been recognized by the Academy, after having been shut out the last two years in a row. But this year, he'll just have to be happy that they thought of him at all. Which means that George Clooney, who actually put on lots of weight and got himself admitted to the hospital for his role in Syriana, will hopefully be keeping us in stitches with another hilarious acceptance speech. If he can top the one he gave at the Globes, I'd be all too happy.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: RACHEL WEISZ

This is one of the times where the phrase "Yeah, but she won the Golden Globe" comes in handy. I would love to see Michelle Williams awarded for her stunning, implosive performance as a wife wronged in Brokeback Mountain, but people may still hold Dawson's Creek against her. Amy Adams was a surprise nomination, and she gave a delightful performance, but Junebug was a difficult and loopy movie that not many people saw. Catherine Keener, I felt was just a little dull as Harper Lee in Capote, which brushed her aside far too often in favor of Hoffman. Frances McDormand was great (as always) in North Country, but I think that the role was actually too small, not to mention the fact that she was, um, mining familiar territory (a la Fargo), and I doubt she'll be awarded for doing so this time around. Which means that Rachel Weisz, who won the Globe for her turn as a daring activist in The Constant Gardener (and whose character's death ignited that film with much of its suspsene) will probably have another speech to deliver come Oscar night.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Quickly, b/cuz I'm starting to get tired of typing and I've got things to do: While The Constant Gardener and A History of Violence both broke free of the page-to-screen stereotypes that often plague adaptations of books, I don't see them as being weighty enough to snag this award. Munich was, in my opinion, simply too old-fashioned for today's times, and Capote was more of a character study than it was a truly great story. Which leaves Brokeback. And let's face it: Turning a 53-page novella into a powerhouse love story that clocks in at over 2 hours is the very definition of adaptation.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREEPLAY: CRASH

The Squid and the Whale: brilliant movie (I loved it), but far too small by Oscar standards. Good Night, And Good Luck: Apart from Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, how often do actors (in this case, George Clooney) win Oscar awards for writing? Match Point: Woody Allen's best in years, but the story is more like a BBC mystery than the feature film it was turned into (and, to me, it shows in the finished product). Syriana: Perhaps a bit too bogged down in politics. Which means that Paul Haggis' Crash, which works several storylines into one mammoth whole, should be the winner among this lot.

OTHER RACES:

BEST ART DIRECTION: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
Please, did you see how beautiful this movie looked?

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Geisha is too easy a win. Besides, it's all costumes and art
direction for that one. Brokeback is the most luminously beautiful
of the bunch.

BEST FILM EDITING: CRASH
Sorry, gotta go with the one with the most storylines tied together.
I never once got lost during the film.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
Sure, I love the music in Brokeback, but John Williams is an Oscar
giant. With two nods this year, I think he'll score (har! har!) for
the authentic Geisha score.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: "IN THE DEEP" FROM CRASH
I want Dolly Parton to win, and I loved "It's Hard Out Here for a
Pimp," but Eminem's win for "Lose It" from 8 Mile may have been a fluke for rap songs, and Parton's tune might be a bit too simplistic for the academy. In the Deep is the kind of emotionally rousing show-stopper of the bunch.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: KING KONG
As if there were any other choice.

BEST SOUND EDITING: KING KONG
Ditto.

BEST SOUND MIXING: KING KONG
Though Ray won in this category last year, I'm sticking with Kong
in a two-for-two win in the sound categories.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory was a joy to look at, but Colleen
Atwood is already a winner (for Chicago), and Hollywood is a sucker
for Asian design, so I'm going with Geisha to, er, wear the pants in
this family of nominees.

BEST MAKEUP: CHRONICLES OF NARNIA
Cinderella Man doesn't stand a chance in this one. So it's
between Star Wars Episode 3: The Revenge of the Sith and The
Chronicles of Narnia. Though some are predicting that Narnia will
be the winner in this category, I'm going to go with Sith to win
the Lord of the Rings/"end of the trilogy" award.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: TOTSI
It's the only one I know anything about. :)

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: WALLACE & GROMIT: CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT
With 3 prior wins for their W&G shorts, expect Nick Park to snag a
fourth for their feature film debut. Besides, it was a true treat for
all.

BEST ANIMATED SHORT: 9
Some might think that Pixar will again dominate (for One Man Band),
but I'm thiking that 9 might take it for being the most interesting
of the bunch. A suspense yarn as a kids' tale? I'm down with that!

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: MARCH OF THE PENGUINS
When all else fails, go with the Box Office winner! :)

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: GOD SLEEPS IN RWANDA
Some have predicted The Death of Kevin Carter to be the winner
here, but I must admit: I love the title of God Sleeps in Rwanda. I
mean, it just sounds like an Oscar winner, doesn't it? :)

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT: AUSREISSER
It's German, it's pretty out there, and it's about a creepy kid. It's
got my vote.

***********************************************

OK, folks, there you have it. My votes for this year's Oscar wins.
Coincidentally, they are very much in line with the predictions
in Entertainment Weekly this year. Hey, I think I might just be on
to something! :)

Must. Post. New. Entry.

2006-02-08T18:42:00.000-08:00

So, yeah, I've been a little lax with this blog thing again lately. Don't worry; I'll have more to say soon. After all, Madonna is performing on the Grammys this evening! LOL!

In the meantime, thought you might like to see this latest cartoon drawing of me, courtesy of my pals over at JapanBoyz.com! Nice, huh?

I'm outtie for now, but I'll be in touch soon! :)

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

The Comic (and X-rated) Roasting of Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-23T16:31:00.000-08:00

It's official: Ang Lee's movie Brokeback Mountain has become a cultural phenomenon. Taking the two top awards at last week's Golden Globes and continuing to cause a stir at the box office, it is positioning itself to become one of 2005's biggest hits. But is it just me, or is anyone else sick of hearing people refer to the movie as Bareback Mountain? Isn't it, like, one of the most unoriginal jokes in the history of jokedom by now? I mean, hell, as far as I'm concerned, it had worn out its welcome the second time I heard it.

Of course, as we all knew, it was only a matter of time before one of the gay porn companies capitalized on the title and released one of their own. And here it is: Scheduled for release on January 30 by Porn Team Productions is -- you guessed it -- Bareback Mountain. I haven't seen any clips from the movie yet, but I must admit that I kinda like the video box cover. The guys look kinda hot, even if they are pulled from the usual array of twinks that populate Porn Team's flicks. One can only assume that the movie will include some degree of bareback (read: unsafe) sex -- a major no-no in many porn circles, but that remains to be seen just yet as the movie has yet to be released and nobody has sent me an advance copy of it yet. Not that I wouldn't mind receiving one.

I suppose it was inevitable that people would poke fun at such a "serious" movie about, well, cowpokes in love. That Porn Team is the first adult video company to do so is the surprise. I would have expected someone like Treasure Island Media or Hot Desert Knights (the two leading bareback X-rated movie houses) to have jumped on this, but alas, looks like Porn Team was quick to the, um, draw.

Of course, adult studios aren't the only ones to cash in on Ang Lee's smash hit. A hilarious parody has popped up in the form of a fake trailer for a movie that (unfortunately) will probably never be made. It was posted on the Net, though Google blocked it because of what they considered indecency. (Some people have no humor!) Telling the "controversial" story of the forbidden love between a man and his horse, it's one of those comic masterpieces that make me happy to be in the entertainment business. Why didn't I think of it first? Anyway, if you haven't seen it yet, you must check it out by clicking here.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

My Globes Experience (and Levi Kreis)

2006-01-18T16:55:00.000-08:00

Well, this year's Golden Globe Awards came and went without a hitch, and with no real upsets in the bunch to speak of.

What is most interesting about this year's crop of winners was that there was no real big winner among them. True, Brokeback Mountain walked away with four Globes, the most of any other winner, but I wouldn't call that a "sweep" by any means. Which can only mean one thing: The Oscars are going to be all over the place.

My experience with the Globes got off to a shaky start. I did my predictions before the show started, but didn't get any of them right until about half-way into it. Which is odd for me. I'm usually right on the mark with most of my awards predictions. But this is one of those years when everything is simply unpredictable. I did score on Film, Director, TV Show (Drama), Actress in a TV Comedy, and several others, but missed just about every supporting actor category there was. I was convinced that Michelle Williams would have won for her brilliant turn as the long-suffering housewife in Brokeback, but I was pretty surprised when Rachel Weisz won it for The Constant Gardener. To be fair, Weisz was excellent in that movie, but for my money, nobody could beat what Williams pulled off in that one moment afer she looks out her front door and catches her husband in the arms of another man. What she conveyed in the following moments was absolutely stunning, and it was all without words. Oh well.

And George Clooney for Syriana? When Paul Giamatti deserved it for Cinderella Man? I mean, come on, folks. Obviously, Clooney was given this award to make up for the fact that he was not going to walk out with trophies for Film and Director, but still... Just what do voters have against Giamatti anyway? God knows he carried Sideways last year, and his work in American Splendor was absolutely out of this world. Perhaps voters are waiting for him to build up enough of an ouevre of work before they give him the love he deserves, but I still think it's a shame that he was overlooked yet again.

I was a little bummed that Heath Ledger didn't win Best Actor, but I suppose that Philip Seymour Hoffman deserved it for his showy but brilliant work in Capote. And hey, at least it went to someone playing a gay role. I was extremely sated, however, that Felicity Huffman got the top honors for her work in Transamerica, another film with major ties to the gay community. And, yes, with Brokeback snagging Best Film (Drama), Best Director (Ang Lee), Best Screenplay (Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana) and Best Song ("A Love That Will Never Grow Old"), this was probably the gayest Golden Globes show ever.

But what was up with all the accolades for HBO's Empire Falls? I mean, Paul Newman winning Supporting Actor in a TV Series or Mini-Series for his phoned-in work in EF over Entourage's Jeremy Piven??? And Best Mini-Series or TV Movie over Warm Springs and Lackawanna Blues? Sheesh. Enough with the love for Empire Falls already. It wasn't that good.

I was also a bit disappointed that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association decided to award Best TV Series (Comedy) to Desperate Housewives when its competition consisted of both Everybody Hates Chris and Weeds. Now, I love me some Housewives, but it's been a spotty second season for them so far, and Everybody Hates Chris is one of the most consistently funny, most well-written shows on television. Ditto for the brilliant Weeds. At least there was some justice when Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker (one of the most brilliant actresses working in film and television today) took home the Best Actress in a TV Series (Comedy) award, beating out all four of the nominated Housewives. (But where was the love for Elizabeth Perkins, who, frankly, should have beat Sandra Oh for Best Suporting Actress in a TV Series. Oh well, at least Joanne Woodward didn't win for Empire Falls).

Gotta love that Steve Carell won Best Actor in a TV Series (Comedy) for his hilarious work on The Office, but Jonathan Rhys Meyers for Elvis? Beating out Kenneth Branagh for Warm Springs in the Best Actor in a Mini Series or TV Movie category? Again, what gives? And, while I love Geena Davis on Commander in Chief, I really thought Kyra Sedgewick should have taken home a trophy for her work on The Closer. (Major kudos to Davis, though, for a hilarious acceptance speech. In fact, a lot of Monday's speeches were awesome, including those by Clooney, Carell and Hugh Laurie.)

Speaking of Laurie, I suppose it was no surprise that he won Best Actor in a TV Show (Drama) for House, and Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix were both locks for Walk the Line, which I must admit, I still haven't seen. But even though Walk the Line won in the Musical or Comedy Film category, I doubt it carries that momentum with it to the Oscars, where I predict Brokeback to emerge victorious.

All in all, the show was pretty good, and I had a lot of laughs even among all the yelling and throwing popcorn at the TV screen that took place in my living room.

Before the Awards, I was actually down on Melrose checking out a show by the brilliantly talented singer-songwriter Levi Kreis, whose gorgeous piano ballads are some of the most soothing and enriching songs I've heard in ages. Levi played to an almost-packed house in the Zephyr Theatre, with incense and candles burning all around him as he crooned some of his haunting love songs and breakup songs. Some of you may have seen him recently on TV's The Apprentice, or heard his song "I Should Go" on Days of Our Lives, or even caught him in the movie Frailty, but if not, I recommend that you keep your ears and eyes open for this one, 'cause I predict that he will be going places. ANd he's hella cute to boot. :)

The pic above is of me (left), Levi (center) and writer Dennis Hensley, whose book Misadventures in the (213), was incidentally the book that I read on my first airplane flight over to Los Angeles four and a half years ago. Now Dennis is a good acquaintance of mine, and I can't wait for his next project to come out!

Anyway, that's it for me this time around. Gotta head on outta here. Talk soon!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Happy New Year and All That Jazz!

2006-01-12T18:26:00.000-08:00

My God, has it really been almost a month since my last blog entry? Sheesh, where does the time go? I suppose it has something to do with the holidays. It's so easy to get caught up in the rigamarore (sp?) of attending Christmas parties, making sure you cook something for said parties, and maneuvering traffic at the malls that it kind of leaves you exhuasted at the end of the day.

My holiday season was fairly nice. I spent Christmas Eve with my friend Jerry, who had a bunch of his friends over for a wonderful dinner (I brought wine, I admit; I was too lazy to cook this year). I actually spent Christmas day alone at my apartment just chilling and watching some of my favorite holiday-themed shows and movies for the second year in a row. And, while some people might find such a notion rather depessing, I have to say, I really enjoy it. I made a nice simple dinner for myself and played Christmas music and lit candles and watched some great stuff.

Speaking of great holiday entertainment, does anyone else recognize that Meet Me in St. Louis makes great Christmas viewing? I try to watch it every year around the holidays, because I just think it's one of the greatest musicals ever made, and, of course, there's that whole Judy Garland connection. LOL! (Yes, yes, I love Judy. I admit it. And why not? The bitch could sing, dance and act her ass off. You name me one entertainer today who is half as talented as Judy was. Well, OK, maybe Liza, but she's too busy allegedly beating up closeted gay husbands to do anything new, though I did love her on Arrested Development last season. But I digress.) Back to Meet Me in St. Louis, there's just something so wonderful about watching this very close family living in such a much simpler time that really inspires me. I think that it speaks to me, since I've really been trying to simplify my life in the past few years. No more drama, no more strife, just living each day as it comes and basking in the small, simple things that really inspire joy in the heart. (For those of you puking at the sentimentality of that statement, maybe it would help to get your fingers out of your throats, you cynical wise-asses. Haha)

Anyway, the week in between Christmas and New Year's was rather low-key for me, as I'm sure it was for everyone else. New Year's itself was rather uneventful. My buddy Mike and I went out to the bars around Silver Lake and I was in bed by 3am, rather early for me when I don't have to be up the next day.

I spent New Year's Day itself much like I did Christmas, just bumming around the apartment and watching TV. This time I pulled out my DVD of Rudolph's Shiny New Year (right), one of my favorite kiddie holiday specials, and just had a blast watching it for the first time in so long. It made me feel like I was 8 years old again. There's just something great about watching stuff like this as an adult that isn't celebrated enough. Why grow up? I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid! Haha. Later, my buddy Mike and I had a few drinks over in West Hollywood and bummed around town for a bit. It was a good way to start 2006. Two days after that I celebrated my 35th birthday (I'm officially a MAN now, thank you very much; no more calling me "just a puppy," OK???).

The very next day, I left for Las Vegas to cover the Internext Convention, which is sponsored by AVN Online and was simultaneously running alongside the Adult Entertainment Expo and CES, the computer convention. Let me just tell you; the Venetian Hotel and Casino was a friggin' madhouse, but I had the time of my life meeting new people and making new friends, I didn't really even notice until I was late for a seminar and everybody was in my way. Which is really nothing at all unlike driving in Los Angeles, so I was pretty used to it. Haha. (For those who would like a more detailed account of my adventures in Sin City, I will be posting a Vegas wrap-up -- complete with pics -- very soon, so stay tuned.)

I returned to Los Angeles this past Sunday tired and exhausted, and took Monday off work to recuperate. Since smoking is allowed in Vegas, I came back thoroughly parched, with a voice that was slowly giving out. I think it's finally starting to come back to me now. Which is good, 'cuz God knows I love talking.

Anyway, we're in a jam to get the next issue of AVN Online out, so things are a little busy at work, which has made freelance writing a little difficult this week, but I have been doing some music reviews the past few nights. I turned a couple in to the editor at Performing Songwriter, who wrote back to tell me that she didn't think my style was suited to the magazine, but I'm not one who takes no for an answer, so I quickly rewrote the reviews and resubmitted them to her today. If it works out, that'd be great. I'm fairly certain that I can write just about anything well if given proper feedback and provided just a little bit of patience.

Last night I saw The Squid and the Whale, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I really thought Jeff Daniels did a great job in the movie, as did Laura Linney. The way the film examines the anatomy of a divorce is very original, almost rooted in the absurdist comedy of Wes Anderson (who, incidentally, produces). Don't forget to check out my movie reviews on my new film review site, by the way. This week I will be posting my favorite films of 2005. I also checked out Woody Allen's Match Point earlier in the week, and was equally impressed.

One of my old "boyfriends" is out in L.A. this week, so we are planning to get together and hang out this weekend. We talked for over an hour on the phone last night, just laughing and carrying on like old times, which was really nice, considering that I was pretty bummed out over him for quite some time after it ended. I guess I am growing up after all.

Anyway, I really do have to run along now. Hope you are all well, and I shall be in touch soon.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

A Few Odds and Ends

2005-12-17T00:36:00.000-08:00

So, I'm trying to stay on top of this blog thing. I keep thinking that I need to have something "big" to write about in order to post a new entry, but then I realize, "It's YOUR blog, dude. You can post whenever the spirit moves you."

I've been doing a few interesting interviews the last couple of days. Last night, I interviewed playwright/screenwriter/director Del Close (Daddy's Dyin'! Who's Got the Will?, Sordid Lives) at his very nice house over in the Caynon. Then, this morning, I spoke with the one and only ... Sheena Easton. Yeah, you heard that right. Ms. Sheena will be playing a New Year's Eve gig over in San Diego, and so I did a short interview with her to help promote the show. She was actually quite fun to talk with. Very relaxed and laid-back and very, very gracious. I liked her sense of humor, too. She's a single mom living in Vegas with two kids these days. When the story gets published, I'll make sure to post a link so's you'ns can read it. (That was my attempt at a Pittsburghian accent. Haha)

Elsewhere, my boss at AVN Online asked me if I would be interested in writing a new column for the magazine. I've been doing a fun interview-type column for the AVNOnline.com Web site called "The School of Hard Knox," but Tony asked me if I'd like to do something different with it for the print edition. I'm pretty excited about having my own column in the mag. Now I just have to figure out something to write about for my first entry! LOL! :)

I even decided to have a brand new cartoon pic done up for the column, so I spoke to the folks over at JapanBoys.com, a site I've written about a few times (and whose in-house artist did my first cartoon shot) and asked if they would help me out with some new artwork. Their artist, Brian, is absolutely amazing. This sketch he did of me will not be the one that we run in the magazine (the POV is a little too high up above me for what we want), but it is still an awesome stab at what I was looking for, so I thought I would share it here with you folks. I'll post the final version once I get it back. Should be sometime next week. It's pretty cool to be a cartoon! :)

I guess I don't really have a whole lot more to say this time around, so I will leave you with a few quick reviews of movies I've seen this week. I took in three flicks in two days, and was really happy with my three choices. If you're looking to check out some of the upcoming holiday flicks, then check out my reviews below!

1. KING KONG

Brilliant! Simply f**king brilliant! Peter Jackson has filmed the definitive version of this timeless story, delivering not only a beautiful film steeped in the hues and moods of the 1930s (the art direction is flawless), but an epic love story of grand proportions. Kong is so real and life-like, it's impossible not to fall in love with him, and Naomi Watts is radiantly luminous as the damsel in distress. Some are bulking that, at 3 hours, the film is too long, but frankly, I could have sat there for another hour of Jackson's genius for making "big Hollywood pictures" that deliver thrills and chills for the popcorn crowd and true emotion and complexity for the more intellectually-minded. He is, quite frankly, a master of filmmaking. Grade: A

2. THE PRODUCERS

Simply hilarious and endlessly enchanting. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick reprise their Broadways roles as theater producers scheming to make away with the big bucks by producing a sure-fire flop. The musical numbers are flawless, and the performances (particularly Lane, Gary Beach and Roger Bart) are briliantly over-the-top and jaw-droppingly hilarious. Uma Thurman is a riot as Ula. Seriously, we laughed so hard in this one that I was crying almost as much as I was during the final 10 mins of Kong. Grade: A-

3. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH & THE WARDROBE

One of my favorite books comes to life is an enchanting and lyrical film adaptation that takes quite a bit of time to fully get off the ground (the book was always a bit episodic in the beginning as well), but, once it does, it just soars. You'd have to be a ignoramous not to pick up on the Christian allegories, but they are very subtle and not at all intrusive. Besides, they are great life lessons to begin with. Tilda Swinton makes an excellent White Witch, and the four kids are all very talented. I was especially enchanged by Scottish actor James McAvoy, who plays Mr. Thomas the faun. What a cutie! Fauns, talking beavers, messianistic lions and mean old white witches... good versus evil never looked so good, or felt so damned comforting. Grade: B+

OK, folks, that's it for me this time around. Hope to catch up with you soon!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

'Brokeback' Backlash: What Gives???

2005-12-10T02:42:00.000-08:00

Well, folks, I suppose it was inevitable. Eventually, somebody with a self-righteous sense of self-importance just had to rain on my parade. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, the rather swift backlash directed toward the wondrous film Brokeback Mountain.

If you've been reading along in my blog, you know that I found this movie to be quite revelatory. Of course, I knew that not everybody was going to fall in love with the movie as I have, but I surely didn't expect a large portion of the caterwauling to come from the gay community itself. But yet, here is David Ehrenstein, erstwhile "critic" whose biggest claim to fame is, well, being given a special thank you in the credits of Rob Epstein and Jeffery Friedman's The Celluloid Closet, ranting and raving in the Dec. 8 entry of his blog about how Brokeback Mountain is nothing more than a "chick flick" that panders to heterosexual notions of the gay lifestyle and encouraging people to skip it completely.

Now, I normally pride myself on being a mature adult who is perfectly capable of accepting the fact that not everybody thinks the same way that I do, and it's perfectly acceptable for somebody not to share all of my opinions. But I do have to take issue with Ehreinstein's rather arrogant dismissal of such an important film. Furthermore, it bothers me that someone of Ehrenstein's stature would actually encourage people not to see the movie. We all know that the reason Hollywood chooses not to make "gay films" is because they are, quite frankly, not marketable to the mainstream. So you would think that, even if one were to not like the movie, he or she would at least encourage people to go see it if for nothing else than to help the film be a success so as to pave the way for other, (perhaps) better movies to come along.

I've gotten into a few arguments with people about the movie as well. And so far, the criticism seems to be focused on the film's so-called "tragic" depiction of gay relationships. I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, so I won't give any specifics, but well, it doesn't end happily. Already, some are lambasting the film for not fulfilling their rather delusional fantasies of "happily ever after." What most of these (so-called) critics fail to address, however, is that the film is set in 1963, in the unforgiving countryside of Montana, where masculinity is defined by how many steer you rope, how many beers you drink and how many cherries you pop. The film captures a time and place in which, for two men in love with each other, living an openly gay lifestyle was simply not an option. Yet, instead of encouraging gays to stay in closet (as most of the film's detractors seem to be implying), the film does the exact opposite in its depiction of the reality of the film's era. Indeed, the movie is nothing if not a call for all people--gay or straight--to break free of the restrictive nature of society's shackles and seize the day. Its true message (for anyone intelligent enough to see it) is that we should all live for ourselves, not in the eyes of others.

Were the film set in contemporary times, then yes, I could see how some of these people might have a point, but really, isn't this a little bit like walking up to an effeminate gay guy and accusing him of perpetuating negative stereotypes? Can you really be a stereotype if you're simply being who you are? Likewise, Brokeback Mountain is nothing if not an honest depiction of the period the film encapsulates. Nothing it presents is outside of the realm of possibility.

So the movie doesn't have a big sappy happy ending in which the cowboys (actually, ranch hands) ride off into the sunset together holding hands. Big frickin' deal. I don't recall Romeo and Juliet celebrating wedding nuptials, or Bogart and Bergman running off together in Casablanca. For that matter, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet didn't exactly have the happiest of endings in Titanic. Where is it written that, simply because a film features gay characters, it is required for the film to end happily? I don't go to the movies to be spoon-fed some trite Hollywood finale in which everyone gets what they want and all is just fine and dandy. In whose world does that happen? Brokeback reminds us that love is nothing if not fragile and rare. It reminds us that we are not alone.

I'm also hearing gripes about how in the film's press, Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger keep talking about being straight actors portaying gay roles (by that token, let's demonize Renee Zelwegger--an American--for talking about her difficulties playing Londoner Bridget Jones, or Nicole Kidman's frustrations in perfecting an American accent), and how wrong it is that straight actors should play the roles in the first place when there are so many capable openly gay actors out there. As far as the latter criticism is concerned, I pose this question: Just who, besides gay people, would go see that movie? Isn't the whole point of Brokeback Mountain--a film with the Hollywood pedigree and talent to potentially lure residents of Smallville, USA to a "gay film"--to get Middle America into the seats in the first place? (And, for that matter, hey, let's not let gay actors portray straight characters anymore. Guess that means that Ian McKellan and Rupert Everett will soon be out of work.)

In my opinion, Ehrenstein and many of the film's gay detractors seem to be suffering from a self-imposed victim complex in which to present any image of a gay person in which that person is not a well-adjusted, openly gay individual becomes an affront to the entire gay community. Is it not OK for anyone to tell stories of gay characters that (gasp!) don't live idyllic lives of bliss and perfection? Have we forced ourselves so deep into the gay ghetto of victimization that we can't see past our own paranoia? If Ang Lee (or, for that matter, Annie Proulx, who wrote the brilliant short story upon which the movie is based) represents an affront to gay people, well, then, hell, Steven Spielburg must be one helluva racist for making The Color Purple. And, hey, while I'm at it: I'm Jesus Christ.

Guess it's time for the second coming after all. I sure do hope there are some gay cowboys there.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Rain, Fiona Apple and no more Madonna!

2005-12-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

Today is just nasty. It's one of those overcast, gray California days that makes you want to curl up in bed with the cat and never get out. I had the hardest time waking up this morning. Of course, that could also have something to do with the fact that I didn't get to bed until 3:30 a.m. in the morning, having stayed out far past my bedtime watching a wet underwear contest at the Gauntlet II, but still... rain just makes me sleepy.

I haven't had a whole lot of anything to say since my Thanksgiving post. I looked back through older posts and realized that my blog was slowly becoming about nothing but Madonna. LOL! This happens every time she puts a new CD out. I immerse myself in all things Madge, seeking out magazines and checking my TiVo for interviews she might be giving on TV, posting on her fan club message board, etc. etc. It ain't pretty, folks. And I'm sure that most of my friends read this stuff and go, "He's so far gone." Ha. (Actually, if you think I'm bad, you should read what some of the obsessive fans in her fan club say on her boards. I'm a-scared of them!)

At any rate, I'll try and keep references to Her Royal Highness down to a minimum from here on out. I've actually been playig the f#ck out of the new Fiona Apple CD lately. There's a great cover story on her in this month's Paste magazine. (I so want to write for them. Too bad the editor won't return my frickin' emails! Sheesh!) I don't know how many of you have heard Fiona's new record, Extraordinary Machine, but it really does live up to its title. Anyone who knows me knows that I was a huge fan of When the Pawn..., and I wasn't sure anything Fiona did after that would live up, but this new one does. It's quite good. Mike Elizondo does a great job producing, and the two songs remaining from her sessions with Jon Brion are probably my favorite on the disc.

Incidentally, I once sold vibrators to Fiona when she visited Drake's on Melrose a few years back. I was working the graveyard shift, and this was about 12:30 a.m., and she was in there looking through vibrators. My co-worker was busy washing the windows, so I kinda slid on in there and took the sale and helped her pick a few nice ones out. The store policy was that anything battery-operated had to be tested before leaving the store (you know, in case it didn't work, since bringing back a "used" vibrator is largely unacceptable), and as I was testing these products, Fiona's face turned beet red, and she was so adorably embarrassed. Finally, she settled on one (a rather extravagant one with beads and a rabbit and all kinds of bells and whistles). Now, during this entire time (probably about 20-30 mins in all), I never let on that I knew who she was. I just treated her like any other cusomter. And just as I'm putting her choice into a bag for her, I leaned in and said, "Now I better not hear about this in any of your songs." Well, the poor girl just about lost it. Her face, already red from before, turned purple, and she doubled over in hysterics, with tears streaming down her face.

On her way out the door, she was STILL laughing, and she turned around and looked at me and was like, "You rock, man!" Then she walked away into the Los Angeles night with a bag full of adult goodies. That was my biggest brush with fame--apart from interviews, of course. But I digress. Anyway, Fiona's new record is brill (short for "brilliant" here in L.A.), so do pick it up if you get a chance.

Oh well. Nothing much else to say today. I haven't been writing a whole lot of cool stories lately. Things get kind of slow around the holidays in the entertainment business, but I also need to make sure that I'm getting on all the right lists, which I don't think I am right now. So, I have to see who I can schmooze with in the near future to gain invites to some of this stuff.

By the way, the magazine that I work for, AVN Online, is up for a Cybersocket award for Best Industry Publication. The Cybersocket Awards are held every year in Vegas, honoring the best in gay adult online entertainment. You can vote for us here: http://www.cybersocketwebawards.com/6th/votenow-industry.cfm.

OK, well, that's about it for me right now. I'm tired of typing, and I need to get back to work (um, more typing). Gonna run along, but hope everyone is well!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Things I Am Thankful For

2005-11-23T19:56:00.000-08:00

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. Time for turkeys and tofurkey, cranberries and stuffing, pumpkin pie and cinammon-flavored desserts--not to mention time to count your blessings and figure out all the things that one has to be happy for. Every year, I try to make a list of all the things that I am thankful for, just so I can remind myself, "Hey, idiot, things are never as bad as you think they are." So, in the time- and Oprah-honored tradition of being thankful, I present my list of things that I am happy for.

1. I'm thankful that I am living out my dreams of being a professional writer and working in the industry that I love the most: the entertainment industry. It's great that I get to go to red carpet galas and snap pics of celebrities and sometimes even get to meet and talk with them. It makes me happy to know that I'm connected to an industry that helps to lift people out of the sorrows of their daily lives and helps them relate to one another through the sharing of our experiences and stories through movies, music, books and stage. To be part of this "pop culture consciousness" is something that I have always aspired to, and I'm very grateful to be part of it--and get paid to do it.

2. I'm thankful that my family is relatively healthy and all making it through life and seem to be happy in and of their own lives. I'm thankful that my parents are both still alive so that I can continue to get to know them and hopefully build solid adult relationships with so that I don't go through the rest of my life wondering who the hell they were.

3. I'm thankful for my job at AVN Online (where this pic was taken just today by a co-worker), where I get paid to do the thing I love the most: write. It's essential to my well-being that I am employed in my field, and since getting this job earlier this year, my life has been in an upswing and I have been happier than I've been in quite some time. I'm also thankful for the various magazines that I do freelance work for, guaranteeing that every bit of my income comes from some kind of writing. The day that I actually realized, "Hey, I am fully supporting myself off of my art," I can't tell you how happy that made me. That I am still doing this gives me hope for the future, and I just know that bigger things are around the corner for me.

4. I'm thankful for my cat Masha, truly one of the greatest soul mates that I've ever had in my life. Ever since my Uncle Joe found her--emaciated and covered in dirt and sh#t--in the parking lot of the church next door and brought her over to my parents' house that fateful day back in 1997, Masha has been one of the sweetest, most affectionate pets that I've ever had, and I am convinced that we have bonded in a very profound way. When I wake up in the mornings to find her lying on top of my back or when she snuggles up to me on the couch while I'm watching TV, I feel that there is a reciprocal exchange of energy that transcends human-animal lines of separation. She is truly one of my best friends, and has been for such a long time now. She is the best. :)

5. I'm thankful for all my friends all over the country, and I'm especially thankful that two of my best friends from various points in my life have relocated to Los Angeles. Having two of my greatest friends (Mike from college, Trent from my days at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre in Frederick) in this big, unforgiving city with me makes every day easier to deal with.

6. And, yes, goddamnit, I know this makes me sound totally "gay," but damn it, I'm thankful for Madonna. LOL!

Anyway, those are just a few of the things that I am thankful for right now. I'm sure there are more, but suddenly I'm bored being thankful!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! You're in my thoughts!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

The Good, the Bad, the Gay, and the F'Ugly; The Week in Pop Music

2005-11-22T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, what the hell is up in pop music these days? I'm thinking there must be something in the pop star water, as several of today's young musical celebs have recently been behaving rather badly and bizarrely, making public statements the likes of which seem to me to be career killers.

Personally, I don't have a problem with celebrities bragging to the press about their sexual exploits, but I don't know: Did Ricky Martin really need to go on record about his love of golden showers? That's right, folks: Ricky Martin likes to pee on people. In an upcoming issue of Blender magazine, the Latino (former) sensation acknowledges that when he's in the shower, he likes it warm. Really warm. "I love giving the golden shower," he says. "I've done it before in the shower. It's like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different." Hmmmm, now isn't that just a bit too kinky for most of Middle America to hear about? I mean, isn't this boy trying to make a comeback here? Sounds to me like Martin is livin' la vida loco.

What's more, Ricky still isn't coming clean about his sexuality, choosing instead to use gender-neutral terminology when making statements like, "I'm open to everything. There are moments for soft, gentle sex. And there are moments for a good spank in the butt, the kind of sex where you pull the hair and grab the ears. I'm pretty open to whatever flows." (Obviously, based on his prior statements about piss play, it's obviously he's into whatever flows.) Now I don't know about you people, but I think when you make statements like that in the press when there are tons of gay rumors swirling about you, you're basically admitting to folks that you're at least a switch-hitter. Far be it for me to tell someone they need to come out, but I do think Martin's song-and-dance routine is getting a bit old at this point. It's not like the guy is Tom Cruise, for pete's sake! :)

In other music news, Enrique Iglesias has made a few rather surprising statements of his own in regard to his evidently unimpressive penis size. The studly Spanish singer has said that he plans to endorse a line of extra-small condoms, hoping to help eliminate the shame and stigma associated with having a small endowment. "The next product I'm gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms," Iglesias told the Houston Press. "I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people--you know, from experience. Hopefully people won't be ashamed when I step forward."

Well, I don't really know about all that, but I do know that the singer has previously gone on record as saying that he doesn't see himself as a sex symbol. And one might venture to say that which this recent career step, others might not be seeing him as much of one either. Not that size really matters in the long run. Trust me, there are many, many benefits to having average (or less than average) equipment, but isn't that something you keep personal? Is it really smart for a celebrity whose chief selling point is his masculine virility to tell the world that he's got a small willy? Then again, I'd like to see the world get away from their obsession with things like size, so maybe Enrique is making a very bold move toward a future in which we judge someone's attractiveness based on, oh, I don't know, their personality?

And let's not forget Mariah Carey and her crazy, bitter ass. Now, I must be honest and say that I've never been a fan of hers (What's to love about a dolphin singing pop songs? Her constant shrieking and vocal acrobatics grate on my nerves), but when little Ms. Scarey decided to go on record bashing Madonna, she really drove a nail of hatred into that coffin of animosity I've been fashioning for her. In a recent TV interview, Mariah dismissed Madonna, saying, "I haven't paid attention to Madonna since I was in [high school], back when she was popular."

Back when she was popular?!? To a Madonna fan like me, them's fightin' words if there ever were any. And I'm half-inclined to go off on a rant about how Mariah has fashioned a career on riding the coat tails of far too many important men and how the last few belleaguered years of her own career ups and downs could make a case for her irrelevance in pop culture (come on, Mariah, I seem to remember Virgin paying you millions so they could get out of their contract with you after the career-stalling travesty that was Glitter, so who the f#ck are you to be pointing fingers at other artists for not always staying on top of the popularity mountain. Oh, and do something about those floppy tits of yours), but well, I'm just far too, um, gentlemanly for that. ;)

Speaking of my dearly beloved, Madonna herself was in the news last week, and not just because her new record Confessions On a Dance Floor is currently riding high at No. 1 on charts all over the world. (Take that, Bitch Carey!) No, it seems that Madge has lost a plagiarism suit that alleged that she lifted four bars of music from a song by Belgian songwriter Salvatore Acquaviva for her tune "Frozen." Without hearing the song (called "Ma Vie Fout L'camp," which roughly translates as "My Life's Getting Nowhere"), I can't really say one way or the other if I agree that she stole the music, but the case does seem a little fishy to me. Acquaviva (Aqua-Velva, anyone?) alleges that he met Madonna in 1979, and says that she must have heard his song then. But my question is, Why did this guy wait so long--nearly 10 years after "Frozen" was a huge international hit--to come forward with this case? Why didn't he sue her back in 1998?

Oh well. I'm still waiting on a press release from Madonna's camp, because, obviously, the news that my favorite pop icon may have stolen someone else's material for her own gain is not the kind of news that I like to hear. Will she still be my favorite pop icon if she comes clean and admits that she did it? I don't know. But I do want to see her as more than just a "material girl."

At any rate, that's the news this week. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, and we'll be in touch soon.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Today Is Madonna Day!

2005-11-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

In celebration of today's release of Madonna's Confessions On a Dance Floor record, I offer this:

CUCKOO FOR KOKO’S

By Ken Knox

Madonna is dead-set on re-establishing herself as the queen of pop, and to prove it, she’s unveiled one of the most consistently pleasing records of her career. Released Tuesday, Confessions On a Dance Floor is a true Madonna fan’s (not to mention a DJ’s) wet dream—a non-stop, high-energy dance record that represents somewhat of a “return to form” for the former Material Girl. Gone are the musings on Kabbalistic life that marred 2003’s under-selling American Life; in their place are life-affirmative statements about the power of love and maturity, with a little of the old Madonna sass tossed in for good measure. The result is Madge’s best work since 1998’s Grammy winning Ray of Light, an irresistibly good pop confection for the troubled soul that encourages you to forget about your woes and worries and just get the hell up and dance.

To promote the record, Madonna has kicked into overdrive, doing the usual array of print and TV interviews (Yes, that was her literally getting back on the proverbial horse on David Letterman), as well as playing favorites to her fans; members of her long-running Icon fan club were treated via e-mail to one of the new album’s castoffs, a sprightly ditty called “Super-Pop,” as part of their membership. And then there was the promo concert at Koko’s in London.

Looking divine in relaxed designer attire and sporting the Farrah flip, Madge danced up a storm for an adoring crowd at the former Camden Palace (which, Madonna noted, was the site of her very first show in London 23 years earlier). She opened the five-song show with a lively rendition of Confessions’ first single, the Abba-sampling “Hung Up,” which was pretty much a live replay of her recent Euro MTV Video Awards appearance. After telling audiences that it was “so fucking good to be back” in London, she then charged into a note-perfect “Get Together,” the second track from Confessions. She followed it up with the somewhat controversial “I Love New York,” telling the crowd that even though she disses London in the song, she’s still a major fan of the city. “New York is where I learned to be an artist,” she explained to the audience. “It’s about a New York state of mind—being free.”

A hard-rock rendition of “Let It Will Be” followed, with Madge jumping all over the stage while bass guitars blared all around her. But for longtime fans, the show’s best moment was its surprise finale, as Madonna trotted out a highly souped-up version of her very first single, 1983’s “Everybody.” Dancing around the stage in a whirlwind of confetti, Madge and her team of talented dancers (some of who performed amazing krump moves) brought the house down on a jubilant show.

Madonna was in an especially jovial mood throughout the show as well. “I feel like I’m really out of shape right now,” she told the fans after finishing her fourth number, then quipped, “I don’t like falling off of horses.” Yet watching Madge dance around the stage while doing all of her singing live (take that, Elton John!), it was impossible not to marvel at the woman’s non-stop energy. If she was out of shape, it certainly didn’t show. In fact, the moderately choreographed show (one got the sense that choreographer Jamie King kept things on the simple side due to the stage’s rather limited space) was, if not one of Madge’s most elaborate outings, certainly a high-energy crowd-pleaser, reminding fans of why they fell in love with her in the first place. Indeed, when it comes to being able to carry fans along with her on carefree adventures, nobody does it better than Madonna.

The live show was followed by a nearly-40-minute-long documentary called Confessions On a Promo Tour, which, much like her recent docu-film I'm Going to Tell You a Secret, showed how Madonna and her team of producers, creative visionaries and dancers puts one of her shows together. The short film revealed a kindler, gentler Madonna, one who affectionately kids with her staff instead of berating them (as she did in the now-classic Truth or Dare: In Bed with Madonna), and who--more than 20 years into her long-running career--is still at the top of her game.

Press Junkets and Celebrity Benefits

2005-11-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

So, now that I've detoured a little with reviews of Brokeback Mountain and the new Madonna CD, I guess I should get back to a more traditional blog format, huh?

OK, so, I guess the first thing I should tell you about is the Brokeback Mountain press junket. If you've been following my blog, then you know that this was my very first trip to an actual junket, so I was a little nervous going into it. I'd heard that it's impossible to get your questions in because everyone else is clammoring to get theirs in, and well, I am such a fan of the movie, I didn't want to come off like a starstruck fan fawning over the stars. But it wasn't like that.

The junket (aka "the roundtables") were held at the legendary Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills. I arrived at 9:30 a.m. and was directed to go up to room 1218, where journalists were to sign in and enjoy a complimentary breakfast buffet. (Damn, it was good, too. Waffles, eggs, bacon, potatoes... a virtual smorgasbord of goodies.) I sat around and talked to a couple other journalists who offered me some advice, and then I headed down to room 219, where I took a seat at one of the round tables (hence the name). I was kind of quiet at first as the other reporters talked and joked amongst themselves. Indeed, some of them seemed like old friends, as they'd rn into each other on numerous times at other junkets. They started telling horror stories about celebs like Joaquin Phoenix and John Cusack being really bad interview subjects, and finally--after what seemed like an eternity--Jake Gyllenhaal came into the room and took the empty chair at the table--and the questions began.

I was very surprised that the other reporters were very relaxed and gracious with each other. There was no stepping on toes. Everyone who wanted to ask a question got to do so. I even got two in. Jake was extremely well-spoken (not to mention fucking adorable as hell), and talked at length about the movie and how filming it affected him (my question), among other topics. Then, after 15 minutes, he was ushered out of the room to go to the next roundtable session in one of the other three rooms where reporters waited for him to answer many of the same questions, I'm sure. So the reporters in my room got to talking again for a long while as we waited for Ang Lee to come in and talk to us.

Finally, after about 45 minutes, Lee came in and again, we started in. This time I got three questions in, and Lee was absolutely awesome to listen to. I'm a HUGE fan of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, as well as The Wedding Banquet (another of Lee's films with a central gay theme), and after seeing Brokeback Mountain the previous night, I was in heaven being able to pick his brains on the movie-making process. What an experience. After Lee took his leave of us, I grabbed a cookie from the food table and headed on home, passing Jake in the hallway and sharing an elevator with Lee. I had half a mind to ask them if they would pose for pictures with me, but I didn't want to be "that guy." So I demured. Plus, when someone as hot as Jake Gyllenhaal is standing right next to you waiting for an elevator, you kind of clam up. LOL!

Anyway, I had a great time at the junket, and look forward to doing many more of them. I've been put on the MRPM publicity list for future screenings and junkets, so it looks like that will be happening here soon.

Now, last night I did get to have my pic taken with some bonafide celebrities, including--as you see to your right--pop singer Pink at the "star-studded" Wedrock benefit for gay marriage at the Avalon in Hollywood. I'm a huge fan of Pink's Mizzunderstood record, especially the song "Don't Let Me Get Me," and she was pretty cool to chat with briefly, though she seemed far more enamoured with actor Justin Kirk (Angels in America, Showtime's Weeds). Of course, Pink's a major stoner, so that would make sense. Haha. Others in attendance at the show included host Alan Cumming (X2), punk rock grandmother Nina Hagen, the lovely Margaret Cho, Kellie Osbourne, Bitch (of Bitch & Animal), and Erasure's Andy Bell. John Cameron Mitchell (of Hedwig and the Angry Inch), who was a co-producer of the event, was a no-show, which was a bummer, as I was very much looking forward to meeting him and seeing him perform. And Yoko Ono, who was scheduled to make an appearance, also didn't make it, though she did send a video she made for the occasion. I was backstage taking pics, though, so I missed the video.

I was such a dork and arrived "late" at 8pm, when the show was scheduled to start, but I totally missed the red carpet meet-n-greet that took place at 7:30pm. I was bummed about that. Oh well. But I did get to see most of the show, which was pretty fun. Alan Cumming started things off with some words about the importance of the "freedom to marry," then did a tongue-in-cheek number called "Don't Do It" (about a failing marriage. How's that for ironic?), then introduced Nina Hagen, who slayed with a four-song set that had the punk rock diva performing some kind of weird cabaret/opera mix that sent shivers down my spine. She was amazing. She closed her set with a rendition of "Ave Maria" that she got a little choked up on. (Literally, her voice failed her a few times toward the end.) Then she took a bow and left.

The rest of the show was OK. Margaret Cho's standup--culled from her most recent film Assassin--was on the mark ("If you're against gay marriage but laugh your ass off watching Will & Grace, fuck youuuuuuuu," she deadpanned), though Kellie Osbourne was pretty shaking as she attempted to read from a "serious" speech she had written. She stumbled through it so much that she eventually just tossed it down and spoke to the audience from her heart, at which point she seemed to relax. Pink only delivered a very short speech (no songs at all!?), Bitch did a few of her kookie songs, some cute little folksinger boy did a number (I was backstage getting pics during all this), and then Andy Bell came out and did two solo tunes followed by Erasure's "Respect" and "Oh L'amour." He was the closing act, and he was pretty damn good if you like Erasure.

Afterward, my friend Brian and I hung out for a little bit and listened to the music (courtesy of Dragstrip 66 DJ Paul V.), and I flirted with this handsome marketing dude from Dreamworks Pictures, and there were some cute guys around to look at. All in all, it was a pretty fun night, though my pics didn't turn out as well as I hoped. My digicam is a nice 6-megapixel one from Kodak, but without the proper flash, it didn't really pick up much of anything. And the ones that my friends took of me with the celebrities are out of focus or way too close up (like this one to the left of me with Nina Hagen and Andy Bell that was taken backstage). Oh well. I guess that's what you get when you have other people do your work for you, right? Haha

Anyway, I guess that's it for me this time around. Now that I've updated you on my two recent "star sightings," I guess I don't have much else to say right now. I'm still waiting to hear back from some of the magazines I sent portfolios to, and I can't stop playing the new Madonna and Kate Bush CDs, I've got a few stories I have to turn in, and tonight I'm going to see Jarhead with my buddy Mike. I'm looking forward to that one, especially now that I'm on this Jake Gyllenaal kick. Hehe. I guess this week won't be as exciting as press junkets and celebrity benefits, but oh well. I guess that's just the other side of my La-La life, right? ;)

Later for now.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Savory 'Confessions'

2005-11-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

So, over the weekend, I happened to luck upon an advance copy of Madonna's highly anticipated (and extremely well-guarded) new CD, Confessions on a Dance Floor. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was to come by this, and I'll have to fill you in on my experience at the Brokeback Mountain press junket later (it was awesome!), but for now, I just want to post my review of the CD here. So here you go:

SAVORY CONFESSIONS
Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor

I've often been of the mindset that, for an artist to retrace his or her steps and revert to their old ways is a bit of a waste of their talent. I mean, isn't it better for them to mature and grow as an artist, instead of just rehashing "the good ol' days" over and over to make a quick buck? Is an artist really an artist if he or she is just pulling from their old hits and updating them for lazy audiences? It's kind of hard to say. After all, some bands and artists have made a career out of this. While Britney Spears continues to churn out forgettably inane pop ditties that rarely build upon anything she's done before, Christina Aguilera at least managed to snag Linda Perry to write some more mature-sounding tracks to balance out most of the fluff on her last record. Kylie Minogue is another one who is guilty of this, as nearly everything she puts out sounds like pure dance drivel to this reviewers' ears.

Madonna, however, has made a career out of building upon her past, of propelling herself into the future--indeed, of reinventing herself, as so many are apt to say. Just when audiences had her pegged as a lace-ridden pop tart, she ditched the bras and dime store clothing for a more mature sexpot look and defied our definition of her. Ever since unveiling the highly dramatic "Live to Tell" video in 1986, she's continued to confound our expectations by using her body as a canvass for her artistic expression. Her music has been part of this revolution, too: No two Madonna records sound the same. On each one, she has ditched past collaborators to take up with new ones who would help to reshape and redefine her "sound," hoping to stay one step ahead of her listeners. And, for the most part, it worked. Not until 2003's sorely underrated American Life--surely one of her boldest and most daring risks in her career because of its sheer simplicity, its incredibly personal intimacy--did audiences revolt. They wanted "the old Madge," the one who wasn't afraid to titillate and whip up some controversy. Who was this woman singing about love and the emptiness of fame and fortune?

Of course, many artists have been victim to this way of thinking. Liz Phair, in particular, has experienced major backlash after abandoning her indie roots for a more mainstream pop sound. Audiences equate certain artists with a particular time in their lives, and they don't want those artists to grow and change. I think it has to do with audiences feeling the loss of youth, and it makes them sad to realize that they, too, are getting older. And nobody likes to admit that they are getting older. Except Madonna.

Yet, here she is taking to the dance floor like a brazen hussy in heat once again, gyrating at the Euro MTV VMAs with a scantily clad cast of attractive dancers and achieving seemingly impossible yoga moves in the video for her latest single "Hung Up." Here's Madge once again telling us to forget about our woes and cares (like she did way back when on "Holiday") and just celebrate life and love. Here's pop music's queen of reinvention taking a step back for the first time in her career to "re-invent" herself as... um, a dancing queen.

So what gives? Has Esther taken into consideration all the criticism she got for American Life and decided to give audiences what they want? Perhaps. It's no secret that her album sales are not what they used to be (though it warrants mention that her Re-Invetion Tour was 2004's most successful tour and that recent appearances at Live-8 and those VMAs have gotten audiences off their feet and screaming out for more). But, here's the thing: while any other artist might make such a brazen attempt at recapturing their glory days look like a calculated move to "cash in," Madonna actually makes it look not just genuine, but like a step AHEAD in her career. In fact, as she did on that amazing Re-Invention Tour, she snags bits and pieces from her 20+ years in the business and tosses them into her new stuff, bringing her career full circle while also launching it into its next phase.

Madge's latest disc, the thrilling Confessions On a Dance Floor, is truly one of her strongest records to date, buoyed by Stuart Price's (aka Jacques lu Cont) magnificent production and some of Madonna's tightest songwriting in years. While I was a major fan of 2001's Music and of American Life, Confessions... is by far her strongest album since 1998's Ray of Light. In fact, it's not exaggeration to say that this album has the potential to relaunch Madonna's career into the cultural zeitgest in the same manner that Ray of Light did for her. That record helped her to gain her first Grammy Awards and garnered her solid critical praise, not to mention a brand new generation of fans. Confessions could very well do the same thing; it's that good.

From the solid opener, "Hung Up," an addictively retro "disco" tune that borrows a bit of melody from Abba's "Gimme Gimme Gimme," all the way through the disc's final mantra of self-love, "Like It or Not," Confessions is an exercise in pop wizardry and sorcery. With Price (her musical director for both the Drowned World and Re-Invention tours) as her cohort and chief partner in crime, Madge boogie-woogies her way back into our hearts through her sheer tenacity, not to mention some of the most hummable pop confections in ages.

"Hung Up," of course, has already threatened to become ubiquitous with everything from cell phones to clocks, as demonstrated by those cheeky Motorolla ads. And the video--a sly homage to the sweaty antics of Bob Fosse-inspired choreography (not to mention yoga)--is a wonderful portrait of Madonna as she celebrates middle life. The song is gimmicky in the best sense of the word, with those soaring strings punctuating the throbbing insistence of the melody, by far one of her most infectious to date. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Track 2, the lovely "Get Together," incorporates the bass line from the old Stardust tune "Music Sounds Better with You," and sounds like something Madge might have cooked up with Everything but the Girl's Ben Watt (now wouldn't THAT be an inspired pairing? Here's my bid for that partnership to happen in the future). On it, Madonna revisits her ongoing dismissal of the Material World in favor of the all-healing power of love, singing, "I've searched my whole life to find the secret/But all I did was open my eyes/Baby, we can do it, we can do it all night" before asking "Do you believe we can change the future?" The melody is a bit more relaxed than that of "Hung Up," with nary the exhaustive production. This one is more simple and straight-forward, but Madonna's soaring vocals are entrancing, drawing us into her cry for uniting in the name of love. This one gets a 10.

The third track, the stunning "Sorry," is truly one of the album's masterpieces. It begins with Madonna saying she is sorry in a few different languages before the thumping melody builds and builds into a first chorus. She snatches a bit of the melody from The Jackson's "Can You Feel It" and incorporates it into this dismissal of a lover's plea for forgiveness. "I don't wanna hear/I don't wanna know/Please don't say you're sorry/I've heard it all before/And I can take care of myself," she proclaims. It's a magnificent statement of independence, and also a truly spellbinding tune. Another solid 10.

Some may be a bit baffled by the challenging "Future Lovers," a track which begins with Madonna telling us, "I'm going to tell you about love" before launching into one of her most ambitiously daring tracks since Music's "Impressive Instant." (This is no coincidence, as Music collaborator Mirwais Adhmadzi was her co-author on this one.) It's impossible not to recognize the Giorgio Moroder influence here as Madonna chants "Give me evidence of its brilliance" as she speaks of love. When I first heard it, I wasn't sure what to think of it, but it's growing on me now. It's a busy song, but that's not a bad thing. Just takes a bit to get into. I give it an 8.

"I Love New York" is probably the best/worst song on the CD. It begins with Madonna rhyming New York with dork, and further dips into the well of inanely simplistic rhymes when she arrogantly declares "If you don't like my attitude, then you can F. off/Just go to Texas/Isn't that where they golf?/New York is not for little pussies who scream/If you can't stand the heat then get off my street." I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, it's the closest thing to a rock song that Confessions has going for it, but on the other, Madonna's unnecessarily combative lyrics seem to defy her pledges of love and unity? Why the need to come off like such a bitch? Then again, I kinda dig the melody, and well, I like an artist who's not afraid to tick me off. Besides, Madonna owns the New York City dance circuit, so she has earned the right to be a little bitchy when it comes to her favored city. So let's give it a 7.5 then.

The oddly-named "Let It Will Be" starts with a nod toward Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" with its use of strings, then moves into a heavily vocoder'd tune with Madge singing "Now I can tell you about success, about fame." Of course, she acknowledges that those things aren't all that important in the long run. "Now I can tell you about the place that I belong/It won't last long/The lights they will turn down," she offers, casting off her anxiety (and apparently any worries over her career) as she begs us to "let it be." Not exactly the Beatles, but still pretty damn good. I throw it an 8.

"Let It Will Be" moves effortlessly into "Forbidden Love," which finds Madge questioning such an affair. One can't help but wonder just who the hell she is singing about (Certainly not Guy, right? What's forbidden about their marriage anyway?), but I suppose we can't read too much into her lyrics. Best to just sit back and enjoy the Kraftwerk-inspired track, which is a dreamy one from start to finish. There's a nod to Daft Punk in there somewhere, though hey, didn't Madge already have a song called "Forbidden Love"? Regardless, this one is definitely worthy of an 8.

I hear a little bit of the Pet Shop Boys' "West End Girls" on the next tune, "Jump," on which Madonna champions the need for taking a risk and finding a place of one's own while simultaneously singing of the need for familial support. The song has a wonderfully evocative mood, and it feels shorter than it is, clocking in a 3:44, but it packs a lot into that small space. It's one of the record's true standouts. And who can't take an example from Madonna's ability to take a jump into the risky unknown? I give it an 9.5.

One of my favorite tunes on the album is the wonderful "How High," which again finds Madonna deconstructing her need for attention over the years. "It's funny," she sings, "I spent my whole life wanting to be talked about/I did just about everything to see my name in lights/Was it all worth it?/And how did I earn it?/Nobody's perfect/I guess I deserved it." On the chorus, she questions her own significance in the grand scheme of things, and even takes her critics to task for their mean-spirited slings and arrows. "It's funny how everybody mentions my name/But they're never very nice," she says. "I took it, just about everything/Except my own advice." Throughout the sumptuous chorus, she keeps wondering if any of her efforts will matter when she's gone. It's a bold yet humble track, demonstrating Madonna's increasing willingness to criticize herself. I like it. It gets a solid 9.

Things slow down a little bit at first for the opening of "Isaac," which features Jewish chanting, lots of strings and guitars and a riff borrowed from "Die Another Die" (and a few of those "mmmm-mmmms" from "Frozen") as Madonna tells the inspirational tale of Kabbalistic forces and a Kabbalah figurehead who braved the world even when his spirit was crushed. One's fondness for the track may depend on one's fondness for swirling strings and Jewish mysticism, but the song's trance-like energy and Madonna's sensual vocals carry it along to its climax. And I like that Madge isn't afraid to borrow from her own canon of work with samples from old songs. I kinda dig this one, so I'm giving it a 9.

Another personal favorite is the daring "Push," which is unlike anything else on the record. Here, Madonna seems to be singing to her hot Irish hubby, telling him "Every move I make/Every step I take/Everything I do/It's all because you push me." There's an interesting Middle Eastern vibe that runs through this one (which works, considering it comes right after "Isasc"), and every time I hear it, I just want to sing along. I'm a sucker for love song, though, and here Madonna doesn't disappoint me. I'm giving it a 9.5.

I have to admit, I find the disc's closer "Like It Or Not," to be a bit baffling. Not because it's not a good song (it sure as heck is), but because it seems to end the record on an odd note. It's a little darker and dreamier than the previous songs, and a bit slower as well, and just kind of fades out at the end. I would have expected a bit more of a definitive ending, but this is definitely a fabulous Madonna song. Here, she brushes aside those who dismiss her, telling them "This is who I am/You can like it or not/You can love me or leave me/'Cause I'm never going to stop." After the ambiguity of "How High" (on which she wondered if she should stick around), it's great to see her telling us that she's not going anywhere anytime soon. To this Madonna fan, such an assurance is the best thing about the whole disc. I give it a 9.

I don't usually do track-by-track reviews, but in this case, I felt that the need to. I'm quite pleased with this latest Madonna record. There are moments on it that are among the best of her career. What really strikes me about this record is that, despite reports that Madge was "softening up" on the whole spiritual pursuit thing in favor of good old fashioned disco tunes, the record is filled with references to her Kabbalistic tendencies. Which is fine by me. She seems more grounded, more centered, more focused, than she has in years. This is the sound of a woman who has lived long enough to realize the value in soul-searching, and it's an inspired declaration of her continued artistic integrity and relevance in today's world.
Though she's no longer the bratty femme fatale who masturbated herself into a frenzy onstage and made out with butch dykes in her videos, Madonna is still showing us that she's just as "spirited" as ever. Her energy has just been channeled into a different sort of expression.

Some of you may think her time in the spotlight has come and gone, but if there's one thing that Confessions On a Dance Floor proves, it's that Madonna will always find ways to find her way into our stereos--and even into our hearts. Simply put, you just can't keep a good woman down.

Grade: A

An Early Review of 'Brokeback Mountain'

2005-11-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

OK, so, tonight I got to go to a press screening for Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain. I've been looking forward to this movie for quite a while now, ever since I first read that it was going to be made a couple years ago. Last October, I picked up a copy of the novella by Annie Proulx that it based upon and I read it while I was vacationing in San Diego. I remember being instantly struck by the eloquence of the storytelling, the incredibly realistic dialogue, and the depth in the characters and their love for each other. It only took me an hour or so to read the short story, but the experience was epic just the same, as it had such a huge affect on me. Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm a sucker for a love story; I'm a die-hard romantic, and reading Proulx's heartbreaking love story was a revelatory experience for me. On top of that, Hollywood has been trying--and failing--for ages to try and deliver a gay-themed movie that demonstrates with utter honesty the "gay experience," yet without all the sensationalistic trappings that most gay-themed movies usually come with. I've often been disappointed that most gay movies are so damned earnest, so damned heavy-handed, so damned silly. And so when I read Proulx's novella, I prayed that Ang Lee would get it right. And boy, does he.

The thing about Brokeback Mountain the movie--and it's also the thing that the actors and Lee have been saying in the press for it--is that it's just a quintessentially epic, all-American love story. It's emotionally devastating in the same way that, say, Casablanca, The Age of Innocence, The English Patient, and even Titanic, have been, yet it's also an incredibly hopeful story, as in Lee's more-than-capable hands, it becomes a yearning cry for--not tolerance, thank God--but simply understanding. It's the kind of love story that can affect even the most jaded of hearts, the kind that may even break through the resistance of the most prejudiced homophobe.

Like the book, the film's strength is its simplicity. The storytelling is uncluttered and matter-of fact, presenting the story in such intimacy that it's impossible not to understand what the characters are feeling. The pacing is even and even a bit on the "slow" side, but never in a way that drags on. Indeed, some of the best moments are found in those that merely present the characters silently eating or having a drink at a bar. The first five minutes of the film alone--when Jack Twist's battered truck humorously sputters into the parking lot where Ennis Del Mar is waiting to meet his new boss--are utterly silent and awkward in the realest sense. And the first time that Jack and Ennis have sex--an incredibly brutal and primal mating that is startling in its graphic intensity, not to mention its "un-Hollywood" lack of romantic frills--is filmed with no talking at all, just the labored breathing of the actors. In these moments and others, all that is not spoken becomes crystal clear to the audience.

I could go on and on about the movie, but I have to save some of this for my official review of the movie (which will be published in IN Los Angeles magazine). Of course, the acting is extremely authentic and bold. How could it not be with Lee (Sense and Sensibility, The Ice Storm, Crouching Tiger...) involved? Both Heath Ledger (as Ennis) and Jake Gyllenhaal (as Jack) are revelatory in their ability to depict their characters' emotions through stolen glances and tender monologues. Michelle Williams (Dawson's Creek) and Anne Hathaway (The Princess Diaries) bring gravitas to the chief female roles of Alma and Lureen, which have been expanded from the novella into more fleshed-out supporting characters. And Anna Faris (Scary Movie, Lost in Translation), Linda Cardellini (Freaks & Geeks, ER) and Randy Quaid all have memorable turns in their cameos. The screenplay (adapted by Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana) is rich and unaffected in its lyrical storytelling, and the cinematography (by Rodrigo Prieto) is stunning. Actually, everything about the movie is simply beautiful. That's probably the best way to describe it; it's just beautiful.

It remains to be seen whether or not Brokeback Mountain will usher in a new era of gay-themed films in the mainstream, but with this gently heartbreaking story of all-American love, the bar has most definitely been set for so-called "gay cinema." It's a film with the power to educate the ignorant in the ways of true love and connection, regardless of how society often perceives them. Will it change the world? Not likely. But it's a start.

My Grade: A

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Cowboys, Porn and Rock and Roll!

2005-11-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

So, I'm going to try and be better about posting to this thing a little more regularly. One of the main reasons that I haven't been is because I was waiting until my Web site went up before I started directing people to my blog, and well, the good news is that it's finally up! Yep, that's right; my site, HollywoodKen.com, is now up and running, so you folks should head over there and take a look at it if you still haven't done so. There are still a few bugs to work out (there's no sound on the flash intro yet, a few stylistic things to iron out), but for the most part, it's looking good, and I couldn't be happier with it. My Web designer, Roman, is a great artist, so you should totally check out his work too. He has his own site, so take a look at that if you're ever in need of a personalized Web site!

Two nights ago, we had a work mixer over at the Marriott motel in Woodland Hills. The staff from AVN, AVN Online and the AVN Novelty mag all got together and carried on for most of the evening. It was pretty fun hanging out with the co-workers. My boss was especially funny. Then last night, I went over to the Abbey in West Hollywood, where Chi Chi LaRue was having her annual birthday bash. This time, however, it was a tie-in to her new book, Warning, which includes some pretty amazing shots of gay porn stars by fashion photographer Greg Thompson, who has elevated adult photography to artistic expression with this book. I am very impressed with it. So if you get a chance, you should totally check it out. There's a pic of my favorite little porn star, Tag Adams, in the book that is just amazing.

When I first got to the party, it was already 8:30, and it had started at 7, but I had to run home from work and change into some WeHo-appropriate clothes (of course!) before I could head over. The party was pretty much in full swing, and once I got my VIP bracelet, I went on inside to salivate over the pretty boys. I have to say, though, there weren't as many porn stars there as I thought there would be. Chi Chi is, like, the biggest porn director there is, and I was kinda shocked that his birthday didn't attract a healthier roster of industry boys. True, there was Rascal Video exclusive Johnny Hazzard to drool over, as well as fellow Rascal boys Eddie Stone and Luca DiCorsa (that's him in the pic with me up above), and there were even appearances by Logan Reed, Michael Knight and Kyle Kennedy (pictured above with Hazzard), among a few others, but come on: where the hell was everyone? At home in the sling? At a sex club? Biting their nails?

Oh well, I guess I really shouldn't complain, right? I mean, after all, the drinks were free (though they reached their $5,000 "open bar" quota only an hour and a half into the party, so I only got one free drink!), the boys were pretty, and the music (courtesy of LaRue herself, who played DJ all night long) was pretty rockin' as well. (I actually broke off a piece of Chi Chi's birthday cookie, and it was delicious!) And really, any opportunity to mingle with hot gay porn stars is one that I'm going to enjoy, even if Tag Adams wasn't there to flirt with me. :)

Aside from my adventures in the skin trade, however, things are going pretty good for me as of late. This weekend, I will be attending my very first Hollywood press junket, this one for the upcoming gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain. I don't know how many of you people have heard about this movie, but I predict it's going to be huge. It might not top the box office, but it's going to be huge in other ways. It's the first gay love story of its kind, really. It features two very big young actors, Heath Ledge and Jake Gyllenhaal, and is directed by the highly revered Ang Lee, whose Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is one of my favorite movies ever. Not since the groundbreaking Making Love in 1982 has there been such a high-profile dramatic gay love story, so this movie has the potential to really "set the record straight" on male-on-male relationships and societal oppression. As Entertainment Weekly recently touted, "It has the power to change minds." Let's hope so.

Jake and Ang will both be at the junket on Sunday, and I'm a little nervous about it since it's my very first one, but a few of my journalist friends who have been to them in the past tell me they're pretty easy and simple. I'll just have to be assertive if I want to get one of my questions in. Saturday night is the actual screening of the movie, and I'm taking a hot cowboy as my date, so I can't imagine having a better experience than seeing a hot gay love story about cowboys with a hot cowboy. I'll have to let you know how it goes. I've also been booked for the King Kong screening, and I can't even begin to tell you how freakin' excited I am for that one!

Today I sent an email over to Madonna's people at Warner Bros, because I'm dying to interview her about her upcoming record Confessions on a Dancefloor. In the next few days, I'm going to start a 'Countdown to Confessions' series of blog entries, so be on the lookout for that! If you folks haven't heard the new song or seen the video for "Hung Up," then you seriously need to check it out over at Madonna.com. I think Madge is gonna be back--bigger than ever!--with this latest release. She sounds great, and it's nice to see her back on the dance floor again. It's just like old times. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big ole fag when it comes to Madonna, and I'm so not ashamed of it. She's provided such inspiration to me over the years, and I never turn on or give up on those who have inspired me. Madonna has remained a creative visionary throughout her career, and in a time of war and destruction and government-sanctioned hatred, her message of love and spirituality and human kindness makes her more relevant than ever. So there!

Oh well, I guess that's pretty much all I have to say for this time around. I have to put some pitches together for Pink mag. They're a new Southern California gay and lesbian magazine, and the editor has expressed interest in having me write for them. So, I'm pitching them an interview with Cyndi Lauper about her new CD, The Body Acosutic, which is a really cool album of her doing "unplugged" renditions of some of her biggest hits as well as two new songs. I think it's a great record, and I can't stop playing it. Love me some Cyndi!

Anyway, I'll leave you with this fun pic that my buddy Chris took of me up in the Hollywood Hills right by the famous HOLLYWOOD sign. It was like 8:30 in the morning, after we'd been up swimming and "stuff" all night, so I think I kinda look pretty tired. What do you think?

Talk with you soon! Stay in touch, and go check out my Web site!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Boo! A Halloween Night Entry from Ken!

2005-10-31T21:53:00.000-08:00

So, it's Halloween night here in Los Angeles, and I'm staying home tonight. I think I'm just too tired to get all dressed up and venture out among the scions of freaks and geeks who get dolled up every year. Or maybe I'm just too old. At 34. Now isn't that what's truly scary? I did make it out over the weekend, and took this picture over at the Faultline.

So anyway, I know that it's been AGES since I've logged a new entry here. Chill out already--I've been busy. Seriously, we're talkin' B-U-S-Y, with all the perks that come along with it. Like being too tired to spend any more time in front of a computer terminal than is needed after spending all day doing just that at my day job at AVN Online, then coming home to do even more writing for the mags that I freelance for. The last thing I want to do on days like those is contribute even more to this oncoming Karpel Tunnel Syndrome that I just know I'm going to end up with one of these days. I can already feel my fingers aching on certain days. Or maybe I'm just getting older...?

Anyway, lots to catch you up on. First, the biggest news: I was on live TV! That's right; yours truly made his first TV appearance on the talk show On Q Live on the Q-TV Network. It was a pretty rad experience, too. I was terribly nervous before going on, and that nervousness was exacerbated by the fact that I totally got lost driving over to the studios. They had one of the major streets closed down due to an accident, so here I am srambling to find my way to this TV studio when I have no clue how to get around in the frickin' Valley! But I finally made it--with just enough time to be rushed into makeup, then have a few moments of chill time before being escorted onto the set by this totally hot go-go dancer boy who was probably straight as can be. (Ugh; don't even get me started on the whole straight guy thing. We'll be here for days.) The guest host that day was one of the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Girl, and he was pretty funny. They asked me a bunch of questions about the book and about gay rockers, and I barely have any recollection of what I said, though I do recall that, for being as nervous as I was before going on, I think I actually did a pretty good job of expressing my views. The producer said he'd like to have me back on to discuss my next book. Hmmmm... guess that means I'll have to get started on it then, huh? By the way, don't forget to check out my site, HollywoodKen.com, where I will be posting the video of my first talk show appearance as soon as the folks over at Q send it to me!

A few weeks ago, I took my first trip to Phoenix, Arizona, where some really cool writers, artists and theater people were putting on an event called the Love Shack, which was inspired by the Homocore book. They had Brian Grillo and Ryan Revenge (from Best Revenge and Spitshine Records) come over from L.A., and I was there to sign copies of the book (I sold a few--enough to pay for my food while there), and there were a few other bands playing as well. It was a pretty cool event, though I was deathly tired from my day of traveling and just wanted to crawl into bed by the time the night was over. (This pic is of me, Ryan, my buddy Scott and Brian Grillo.)

I have to say, I really liked Phoenix. I'd never really been there before, except one time when I was laid over at the airport for like an hour and a half while on my way to San Francisco several years ago. But I was totally surprised by how totally frickin' DEAD that place was! I mean, it was like an old folks' retirement location or something. It kinda reminded me of a bigger version of Palm Springs--all palm trees, quiet streets, sweaty days and extremely warm nights. There was no hustle and bustle like here in L.A., and for that, I really enjoyed it.

My buddy Paul, who I stayed with, took me up to South Mountain, and there was a really cool view of the city from up there. We did some hiking up there, too. Tourist hiking, of course, but hiking nonetheless. It was quite a majestic site up there. I got some good shots of the cityscape from up there, but the pic I'm most fond of is this one that I took while just walking around up on the mountain around the rocks and stuff off this one quiet path--away from all the screaming kids. I'm such a major fan of the desert. There's just something so beautifully barren and stark about it. You know you're among earth's most basic elements when you're in the desert. That's one of the reasons why I really enjoy being in Southern California, where places like Joshua Tree are so close and you can just go be among cacti and rocks and the earth, and it just all comes together for you. Does that make me weird?

So, I finally sent out all of my portfolios to magazine editors, and it looks like I'm going to be doing some writing for Rockpile, which is out of Philly. They're a great mag, so I'm thrilled that they're interested in having me contribute to them. And I'm hoping to hear back from the others that I sent packets out to. I sent these little guitar keychains out with each packet, along with my spiffy new business card and color Xeroxes of my writing clips.

Elsewhere, things seem to be moving right along in my career. I'm trying to get more involved in writing about movies. This coming weekend, I'm going to attend my very first Hollywood press junket, this one for the brand new gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain. On Saturday, there will be a press screening of the film, and on Sunday, the junket will take place over in Beverly Hills. Both Jake Gyllenhall and director Ang Lee will be there to answer journalists' questions, and I've seen how these things usually go in movies, so we'll have to see if I'm able to get a word in edgewise among the microphone hogs. This should be pretty neat. Looks like I will be doing lots more of these events in the future as well.

I also got to attend a performance of Silver Lake phenomenon Robbie D., who did his annual Telekenesis show over at the Cavern Club Theater. Robbie's shows are always something to see; he's like a combination of John Cameron Mitchell (from Hedwig and the Angry Inch) and Marilyn Manson, which is a pretty screwed-up combination, you have to admit. One of Robbie's special guests was none other than Ann Magnuson, the performance artist who used to be on TV's Anything but Love (with Richard Lewis) and who was also the lead singer for the sorely missed Bongwater. My buddy Kevin and I got to talk with Ann afterwards, at which point Kev snapped this nifty pic of me and Ann. She did a GREAT number called the "Cemetery Blues" that was one of the highlights of the evening. Robbie's rendering of Donovan's "Season of the Witch" was pretty intense, too. God, I love that Cavern Club Theater!

Oh--I did another book signing, this one back in the beginning of October at the West Hollywood Book Fair. Bill Maher and Neil Gaiman were both there signing books just a few short feet away from the Alyson Books booth where I was signing copies of mine. It was a pretty cool experience, even though I didn't end up signing a single copy of the book in the hour that I was scheduled to be there. (Alyson did a REALLY crappy job of putting a booth together this year. It was actually pretty tragic, but I guess I shouldn't be complaining.) My friend Kevin took this pic of me while we were there, and later on we went and saw Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's new movie Mirrormask, which was brilliant!

Well, that's about it for this time around. I'm kinda tired of typing now, even though I have tons more to say, but that's OK. It can wait for another time. I need to give my hands and fingers a rest after all this typing. Talk with you soon, and stay in touch at LaLaLifer@aol.com! Oh, and my Web site should be launching in the next day or two, so don't forget to keep checking back for the announcement of that.

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Am I Turning into a Cartoon?

2005-09-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

Am I turning into a cartoon? I'm not too sure. Sometimes I think I am just becoming this caricature of myself as I get older and older -- you know, the self-publicizing writer trying to get ahead in the world, the guy with a healthy fondness for cock and an equally healthy fondness for gay rock music. Some people seem to think they have me pretty well pegged. (I sure wish some of them would peg me, mmm-kay? But that's another (X-rated) blog entry entirely.)

The guys over at adult Web site JapanBoyz.com certainly think I'm a cartoon. In fact, their on-site artist, Brian, was kind enough to do this animated rendering of me--for free--as I had done a story on the JapanBoyz site for AVN Online. I've always wanted to have one of these things, and it's already come in very handy. I'm going to be using for a lot of press purposes (I'm sticking a label of the pic on a bunch of portfolio folders going out to mainstream mags next week), and I'm so happy with the rendering. I have to say, I was a bit surprised how much more toned and, er, buff they made me look, but hey, it gives me something to aspire to, right? In a way, it's flattering: Maybe this is how someone else sees me. So much of my early adulthood has been bogged down with such stupid thoughts as "Am I hot or not?" that it's nice to let go of that and just be myself. Having someone else conceptualize me as being so kinda of foxy makes my day, but I'm able to walk away from it with a smile on my face but knowing that I have more important fish to fry. (Not that I eat anything fried these days! Gotta watch my boyish figure! LOL!)

So, anyway, in the few days since my emotional breakthrough with my mom, my life has taken a bit of an interesting turn. Suddenly, things that might have once bothered me seem so less important to me now. Like today, I got a rather disgruntled email from someone who was involved in the homocore scene who'd read the book who complained that he didn't feel that he'd been adequately given the credit he was due, and he pointed out a bunch of things that he felt were inconsistencies in the book. My response (not in these words): "Thanx for the email. I agree with you; the book just scratched the surface of the movement, but get over it, dude. You were mentioned."

Anyways, I didn't get to update you folks on the outcome of my interview with Liz Phair. Can we just say, WOO HOOOOO??? I haven't turned the article in to my editor at Frontiers yet, but I do want to include just a smidgeon of what it was like for me to connect with her (albeit over the phone). I really feel like we connected; like you could just tell she was thinking, "This guy gets me." Here's a snippet of our dialogue:

Me: What struck me as so odd about the backlash on your last record was that I had kind of always thought of you as somewhat of a pop singer, because your songs had a very pop—albeit an indie pop—sensibility to them. I didn’t think you were selling out at all, but rather just more fully expressing that element in your music that had always been there to begin with.
Liz: I think that’s really insightful that you would say that, because for me, my music started with the Girlysound stuff, which was pre-Exile and pre-label release, and it was very poppy and playful, ditzy, all sorts of things. Guyville was really my big moment, and it defined me, but it didn’t actually define my musical style. That was what I was for that period. And I think it’s something… if you look at any of that stuff… “Never Said” was completely trying… all sorts of pop beginnings in there. But I think what happened was Guyville represented something to a group of people that went beyond what style I was, and it became very important that I sort of maintain that for them.

There were a whole lot of neat little moments where she laughed, where I laughed, where it seemed we were connecting on a really good, mutually respectful level, and it was just a great experience all around. I can't wait to write this one up. There's talk that I might even get to interview Sheryl Crow next. Fingers are so crossed for that one, of course!

In the meantime, there are some cool things happening with the Homocore book. I've been contacted by Sirius Radio and Q TV to do spots on their talk shows, which I'm really exicted about. And a little nervous as well, but hey, that just comes with the territory.

Anyway, if you folks haven't read the way-cool interview that I did with AfterElton.com about the Homocore book, you should probably check it out. It talks a lot about the experience of writing the book for me, and I think it should answer some of these looming questions about how limited the book is in its study of the queercore movement. (Hey, you can't please everyone, right? F#ck your rock star egos! I don't got time for it! I have my OWN ego to feed!)

I also just came across this review that was done in the Washington Blade, which I thought was pretty cool. Check it out here if you want. Thanx to Van Gower for such a fair review!

The following review is one of the more even-tempered reviews, and I think the author (Robert Morast) is very fair in his assessment:

Journalist Ciminelli and freelance writer Knox should be applauded for bringing the gay underground rock scene out of the closet-but not too loudly. Because while their book sheds some much-needed light on an interesting subgenre that's often ignored or distorted by the mainstream media, the authors do little to validate the musicians they cover. Chapters on influential figures like punk band Pansy Division or ex-Indigo Girl Amy Ray read like PR essays; this lack of objectivity diminishes the book's potential as a sociopolitical force. Still, Homocore proves its relevance with insights from Extra Fancy frontman Brian Grillo, who describes the discrimination he faced after his band was signed to a major label, and drummer Alicia Warrington, who talks about how early homocore artists gave her the strength to pursue her passion in a heterosexual-dominated music industry. Though far from a definitive account, this is a nice start. Recommended for extensive music libraries or any libraries that fly the Rainbow flag.-Robert Morast, Argus Leader, Sioux Falls, SD

Meanwhile, writer Jay Laird summed up his thoughts on the book in the following review found on the Provincetown-based paper EDGE.

So far, the press has been pretty good, if a tad mixed, which is to be expected. After all, the book really just scratches the surface of the movement, and there are many very deserving folks who got left out of it (or whose stories weren't fully told). My good buddy, drummer Bilito Peligro (one of the hottest men in all of L.A., who's also a member of the Gay-Gays), for instance, should have gotten more love out of me and Cim, but well... when you're running up against deadlines and your publisher is bearing down on you asking for the book, you kinda gotta get it done quickly. (That is a picture of Bil, in fact. Isn't he quite the hot sweaty stud? It if weren't for him and his band Best Revenge, I never would have gotten so involved in the queer rock scene here in L.A. in the first place! So thanx, Bil! And if you're ever single again... PLEASE call me! LOL!)

At any rate, I have a few very interesting things on the horizon coming up, so look for another entry to follow in the next day or so about what's been going on in my La-La Life as of late, and be sure to keep in touch with me at LaLaLifer@aol.com, OK?

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

When Validation Comes...

2005-09-21T01:24:00.000-07:00

So, this is my La-La Life.

It's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm walking around the Hollywood & Highland shopping complex while I'm waiting to have my car washed and detailed down the street (you know us Los Angelenos--we don't do anything ourselves!) when I decide to call my mother to pass the time. I'm not quite sure what is up with us on this particular day, but somehow, conversation just comes freely to us--a rarity in my normally non-communicative family. And somehow, my mother and I stumble upon the subject of sex. I have half a notion to tell her that my day job is working as an associate editor at AVN Online, but I really don't wanna push my luck. I do, however, manage to defend pornography, claiming that the problem lies not with those who capture sexuality on film, but with the puritanical and archaic views that the American government has shoved down our throats for the past several centuries. "There's so much guilt and shame surrounding sexuality," I tell her, to which, amazingly, she agrees. Then she says, "Well, it's nice to finally talk about this with you. I don't know why it's taken us so long to talk openly about sex."

And somehow, from somewhere deep inside me, I find the strength and confidence to say, "Well, Mom, if you must know, it's because you and Dad didn't exactly make it easy on me growing up. I remember all the times you pointed out gay people on the streets and said how digusting that was, and how you would disown me if I turned out to be gay--which you told me when I was eight." And then, a miracle: my mother didn't get angry or defensive. Suddenly, she said, "Oh, my God, I had no idea you felt that way. I am so sorry, and I regret it."

And here I am, standing outside of Hot Topic, a cheesy corporate-based punk rock store in the middle of the Hollywood tourist's district as hundreds of people mill around me, and I start to tear up. "Well, Mom, I really appreciate you saying that, because I've honestly waited all my life to hear those words from you," I finally responded. "I always felt like I'd failed you and dad by not being the son you wanted. I felt like I was a huge disappoinment to you."

"God, no," Mom said. "I honestly never knew you felt this way. I wish you'd said something a long time ago." If I'd replied right away, I would have said, "Well, so do I."

The truth is, for most of my life, I have always felt like I was this little 8-year-old boy who felt like his mother never loved him, and, looking back on most of my life choices and experiences, it's easy to see why certain things have happened to me: because I've never honestly known what it's like to be truly loved by someone, unconditionally, and it's the one thing I've been searching for all my life. In all the relationships I've pursued, I've always been the "needy one," the guy with the emotional baggage who chose guys who weren't emotionally available becuase I was setting myself up for failure and disappointment--the only things I'd really ever known in my life. I mean, really, is it any wonder that I'm still single?

Suddenly, at 34, things are changing. It began last year, when I had a whirlwind affair with an unattainable porn star who I fell head over heels in love with. And, though it didn't work out between us, I do know without any uncertainty that he and I bonded in a way that I've never bonded with anyone before or since. It's one of the reasons why I still count him among my closest friends, even though I rarely see him these days. I finally learned to love someone unconditionally--knowing that I was not going to get the outcome I really wanted. But what I did end up with is equally special in its own right, and the experience I shared with him has taught me so much about my pattern with men and the ways in which I've (not) loved those men.

In the months since "T" and I broke off our romantic entanglement, I have felt my life shifting. I've taken on a new sensibility, a new outlook, and gained a new confidence that I never knew I had before. He taught me that, God bless his tender soul. I think it's what has given me the courage to not only put F#ckhead Ryan out of my head (honestly, I haven't thought about him for well over a week now, except in fleeting, passing moments) and move past him, but to finally open up to my mother and be able to say the things I've always wanted to say to her.

When my conversation with my mother was over, I hung up the phone and looked around, half expecting the sky to be a different shade of blue, or expecting the sun to be a different hue of yellow. Of course, the world looked the same. Everthing didn't just fall into place and become easy like I'd thought it would. And now that I've finally received the "validation" from my mother that I've been seeking all my life, I realize the onus is now on me (though, in all honesty, it always has been) to live my life solely for myself and for the things that make me happy. There are no more excuses for making bad decisions (except, perhaps, sheer habit--or, of course, simple stupidity and/or stubbornness)--no more reasons that I can't do the things in life that I really want to do. There is no one holding me back anymore but myself. There never really was.

Hmmm, maybe this is growing up after all.

The Lethargy of Ken

2005-09-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Wow. Has it really been over a week since I've posted a new entry? Gee, what's up with that? Me, who loves to talk about myself, forgetting to talk about myself? What's the world coming to, right? LOL!

I've actually been in a bit of a funk lately. Just kind of lethargic and not really energized to get much done. I think it's just the post-dating blues, trying to get myself back to a place where I am grounded in what it is that I need for myself right now. I don't know why it's so hard to get to that place, but for me, it alawys has been. I let things affect me too personally. And then there are those deep-rooted insecurity and self-esteem issues that I still wrestle with. When am I going to be good enough? Or am I, and I just don't know it? Weird how human beings let such things become so important to them, but I suppose that's our struggle, isn't it? To question and strive to be "good enough."

There's a song on the new Liz Phair CD Somebody's Miracle (I got an advance copy b/cuz I'm interviewing her Monday morning) that really exemplifies this struggle that I have. It's the title track, actually. I have to share the lyrics here, b/cuz they are too perfect.

I'm so far, so far awy from it now
That it seems like I may never know how
People stay in love for half of their lives
It's a secret they keep between the husbands and wives

Baby, there goes somebody's miracle
Walking down the street
There goes a modern fairy tale
I wish it could happen to me
But I look at myself, wondering if I'm just too weak
To have such faith in myself

Ahhhh, Liz, thanx a lot, babe. Thanx for putting it into words for me and summing it up so succinctly. It's the thing that I love so much about music, that I wish I could do. I would give anything to be able to sit down with a guitar and put a song like together and express those feelings in a three-minute song that people would sing along to and feel like they weren't so alone in the world.

Actually, Liz's music has always been important to me. She writes from such a place of honesty and truth, it's impossible not to go there with her. She isn't afraid to lay her faults on the line and say, "Look, I'm a f#cking mess, and I guess I should claim that and be proud of it, b/cuz it's who I am. But I'm working on it." I guess that's all we can do, huh? Just work on it.

Anyway, I'm really excited to be able to chat with Liz on Monday. It's an interview I've been trying to get for the past two or three years, and it's finally happening. As my editor at Frontiers said, "Liz is like the indie Madonna." Indeed, not many women out there sing about such emboldened sexuality with quite the panache that Liz does. As much as I love Alanis Morissette, I think she always wanted to try and be as "shocking" as Liz, but that's the thing: Liz isn't shocking. She just writes and sings about the feelings that she has that nobody else has the nerve to talk about. Perhaps that's why I relate to her so well. People often tell me they are shocked by the deeply personal things I reveal in my writing and indeed, here on my blog. But I don't know... what else would I do with all these thoughts if I could't share them? I suppose that's what artists do. We share, so that the rest of you don't have to. Haha.

Let's see... in other news... well, there's not a whole lot of it. Oh, I have been made the new music columnist for Lesbian News magazine. Isn't that funny? I suppose this makes me an "honorary lesbian" (just what I've always wanted). It makes sense, though: When I was first coming out, the music that I really connected to and that helpled me in my coming out process was that of Disappear Fear, Melissa Etheridge and especially the Indigo Girls. There weren't any openly gay men singning about being gay back then. Come to think of it, of the bands I mentioned above, only Dispppear Fear was an "out" band. Melissa and the Indigo Girls came out later. (But, please, we all knew they were dykes all along. God love' em!) Anyway, I turned my first column in this past week, and it was fun to write. God knows I love my female singer-songwriters (as much as I love my hot rocker studs), so this column is perfect for me.

Well, hmmmm, what else has been up in my La-La Life as of late? Actually, not a whole heckuva lot. I think the most exciting thing that I've seen or done in the last week or so was going to the wet shorts contest this past Thursday night at the Gauntlet II, where I got to drool over this totally hot guy who won the conest.

Now this guy was pretty f*cking adorable, I must say. The whole package. As most all of my friends know, I'm definitely not one to worship at the feet of muscles or anything, but I have to say this guy's body was quite flawless. I was looking at him thinking, "OK, I could live with that." LOL! And his smile? Dang! Nothing like a hot smile that lights up a room to give you a bit of hope, right? Wouldn't you agree? His name was Corey, and he was a Mormon boy from Utah. Nothing like a good ol' Mormon boy from Utah. You just know when those boys get out into the real world, they go WILD!

Anyway, I think that's about it for me today> I don't really have much else to say right now. Hopefully I'll have some great things to report after the weekend (I'm just gonna take it easy this weekend, get some writing done, work out a little bit more, and try and feed my soul with some chicken soup) and my interview with Liz on Monday.

So talk with you all soon! Stay well!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

The Homocore Healing Experience

2005-09-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

One of the cool things about having a book in the stores is that people actually take me seriously when I tell them that I'm a writer now. Before, when I would tell that I wrote predominantly for the local gay rags, they were still pleasant and congratulatory, but you could just tell that underneath that fake smile lurked a bit of a skepticism, almost like I was writing for The National Enquirer or something.

Of course, now that my book, Homocore: The Loud and Raucous Rise of Queer Rock, is in book stores all over the country and I'm what other people now think of as a "published author" (no matter that the hundreds of stories I've had published in mags for the past four years denoted the same accomplishment on my part), people seem to regard me with a little more respect and reverence than before. Which I guess is kinda cool. I mean, we all wanna be liked and admired, right? And, baby, I am a royal SLUT for admiration. :)

But I realize that, in all this time talking about the finished product that is the book, I haven't actually really talked about what the experience of writing this book was like yet. For me, co-writing Homocore was not only a labor of love (my co-writer, David Ciminelli, and I would occasionally get into heated arguments over which bands to include), but an incredibly educational and healing experience. I'm not sure how many of you know the story, but Cim was my editor at Unzipped magazine at the time, and he had already started the book on his own.

Meanwhile, I had become immeresed in the underground gay rock scene of Silver Lake here in L.A. myself, having fatefully stumbled across a flyer for a $3 CD release party for the local queer punk band Best Revenge. (As it happened, I, in fact, only had exactly $3 to my name; I recall thinking to myself, "This is fate. I have to go see this show.") I attended the show, fell in lust with both Ryan Revenge (the lead singer) and Bilito (the drummer), and got to meet a lot of other local queer punkers who were in the audience that night. Later, when I started writing for Unzipped, I began pitching a lot of stories about these queer rockers to Cim, and he asked me if I would join him on the book.

Well, obviously, I did, and the process of writing the book was, for me, a true education in many ways. Not only did I have to finally sit myself down and commit to finishing a project (always a problem of mine in the past), but I got to immerse myself in a history that is rich and alive with diversity and self-pride. The people who were in these bands (Team Dresch, Pansy Division, Tribe 8, Fifth Column, and Extra Fancy) had been out there in the trenches doing something that nobody else had ever done--carving out their own community outside of the puritanical mainstream ideology and corporate fat-cat dealings and creating something that was unique and wholly inspirational to many.

Writing the book, for me, was a great way to re-discover a lot of that history (especially as I'd missed out on most of it, since I was in college at the time it was in full-swing), but it was also a great way to throw my energies into something that didn't have to do with which guy might want to date me or whose c#ck I might end up sucking at the sex club this Friday night. Homocore gave me a new purpose in life, and I should be extremely thankful that that purpose continues now that there are book release parties to plan and book signing gigs to line up. Plus, it's brought me closer to some of the people who are profiled in the book, like my now-great friend Daniel Cartier and these way-cool guys below. (This pic was taken after my recent book signing at A Different Light in West Hollywood.)

Another really neat thing about writing a book (or, more specifically, getting it published), is that you then get to read what other people have to say about it. There have been a few reviews published so, far. The way-cool Web site PopMatters.com featured a great review written by N.A. Hayes, and The New York Blade ran a review by Van Gower that was equally favorable. Writer Chris S. Witwer has sold his treatise on our book to many publications, and you can read his synopsis of the book over at LesbianNation.com. IN Los Angeles magazine has featured a story called "Smells Like Queer Music," and there are more to come.

Meanwhile, my friend (and former co-worker, the lovely photographer Wyoming Telford) has taken a series of publicity pics of me, and well, the pics are definitely getting me some notice. Whenever I've gone cruising around online, I've had a few guys Instant Message me say and say, "Hey, aren't you that guy that wrote the Homcore book? Didn't I just see a HOT picture of you in some magazine and read a story about you? We should meet and talk sometime about rock." Anyway, that's been kinda cool, but in the wake of F#ckhead Ryan, I think I'm gonna try to stay away from the boys for a little while, espeically the ones who see me in a picture and get excited, because, in my experience, as soon as you meet up in real life, everything changes, and really, who needs any more disappointment?

Anyway, I have some pretty cool things coming up. I think I'm going to be heading over to Phoenix to do a book signing there and participate in an event which will include several of the bands profiled in the book, and Cim and I are now planning our own book release party for Sat., Oct. 1, (plus I've already got my second book in the works), so looks like I will be keeping myself rather busy for the next few months. Which is quite fine with me. After all, who has time to sweat the small stuff in life anyhow, right? If a guy isn't smart enough to see what an incredibly thoughtful, kind, talented and attractive guy I am and how much I have to offer, and wants to go back to someone who already broke his heart once before, then who the hell needs him anyway, right?

RIGHT??? Oh, please, let me be able to keep thinking this way!!! :)

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Junction Confunktion

2005-08-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, I made it through yet another Sunset Junction Street Festival here in good ol' L.A. For those of you who don't know what Sunset Junction is, it's the annual street fair organized by Michael McKinley (one of the original organizers of the first March on Washington in 1979 for gay and lesbian rights). McKinley's grand plan when creating the Junction was to bridge the gap between gay and straight, black and white, Latino and Asian, cat and dog--and bring them all together for one great weekend of fun, funk, and frolic. I've attended the Junction for the past several years, and I always have a great time, and this year was certainly no exception. (You can read my overview of the Junction by clicking here if you'd like.)

From the drag queens sashaying down the street in their sequins and high heels and punk rock studs with their multiple tattoos and piercings to the chaps-wearing leather daddies walking alongside stroller-pushing mommies, the Sunset Junction Street Fest is one of the few places where you can see diversity really at work. Gay couples can kiss in the street and no one bats an eye. Goth-looking teens with safety pins through their nosese can sulk all they want and people let them be. It's like a haven for "freakish" behavior, except that the cool thing is that mostly everyone realizes that no one who attends the event is really a freak. We're all just a bunch of people who really want to get along.

I actually didn't attend the festival on Saturday, when cool bands like Rilo Kiley, The Walkmen and John Cale played (I was frankly too tired from running a bunch of errands all day long Saturday), but I did make it over to the Gauntlet II later that night, where the bar was hosting a Sunset Junctin after-party featuring The Gay Gays, the world's only all-male, all-gay Go Gos cover band featuring Pansy Division's Chris Freeman and former Best Revenge drummer (and stud of my wet dreams) Belito Peligro. But wait--get this--there was a very special suprise guest in the audience that night. Jane Wiedlin, one of the original Go Gos herself, had heard that the boys were going to be playing at the GII, so she showed up to show her support!

But that's not even the coolest part. Jane totally threw the guys for a loop when she jumped up onstage with them and accompanied them on several tracks, including "Vacation" and "Head Over Heels." The whole bar erupted into squeals of delight as Jane jammed away alongside Chris (and I drooled as Belito sweat through his boxer shorts while banging away on those drums). It was a pretty awesome night, and I have to say, it was really cool to see these guys who I admire so happy.

Now on Sunday, my friend Mike and I eventually did end up heading over to the Junction, which was in full swing by the time we got there. Mike soon ditched me so that he could head over to the Latino bar (he sure does love his "dark meat," as he likes to say), and I met up with an old friend Al, who I hung out with while we both ate some delicious Hawaiian barbeque with pineapple over rice. Yum. (There's nothing like street festival food, I have to say.)

Of course, one of the greatest things about a street fair in the summertime is the array of hot men just out and about on the streets being their hot selves for the likes of me to drool over. I mean, there are hot men EVERYWHERE. It's like a plague of Studlyism or something, and sometimes, I must admit, it can get a little out of hand. They stand in pockets of hotness, soaking up the sun while they compliment each other on their bodies and secretly plan their little orgies for later that night, and sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be part of that world, but I guess I'm happier in mine, where such things aren't so important to me. I guess that us average-looking dudes have it somewhat harder in some ways, but hey, at least I know that when someone takes an interest in me, it's usually because they like me for who I am on the inside, not what I look like on the outside.

Anyway, I eventually made my way up to the South Stage to check out Jody Watley, who I'd interviewed for IN Los Angeles magazine as part of my coverage of the event. (You can check out that interview, by the way, by clicking here.) As we waited, I met this pretty hot couple of guys who were standing next to me, and I got to talking to them. I couldn't tell if they were interested in anything more than just chat, but I did get a certain vibe from them that wasn't altogether unpleasant. Still, they eventually went off to get some more beer, and I stuck around to see Jody perform.

And perform she did. Ms. Watley is definitely "still a thrill," and she performed a very smooth, very entertaining set of songs that included her hits "Still a Thrill," "Some Kind of Lover," "Real Love," a funkified version of "Don't You Want Me" and, of course, "Lookin' for a New Love." As I watched her from the side of the stage (they wouldn't let me back so I could get my picture taken with her, the bastards!), I couldn't help but think that--if she could only find the right material and get the right handlers--Ms. Watley could become a fierce pop diva again, one to rival that of Ms. Diana Ross, 'cuz Jody was sure workin' the Diana vibe up there on stage, what with the sexy Afro and her sexy grooves and assured vocal delivery.

Anyway, after Jody was done, it took over an hour for Chaka Kahn to get her big butt out on stage, and she wouldn't even let photographers use long-lensed cameras to take pictures of her. Kahn still sounded good (she opened her set with a disappointingly abridged version of "I Feel for You"), but there was something missing from her performance, and I only stuck around for a couple of songs before I met back up with Mike and we headed on over to MJ's, where there was another after-party with--ta da!--The Gay Gays on the roster.

This time, though, the Gay Gays had an opening act, the rock metal band Speed Queen, which consists of my pals Clint Yeager (who is profiled in the Homocore book), Marcus Cain (formerly of IamLoved, also profiled in the book) and Saul Acuna (also of IamLoved). Clint was one of the first guys I was attracted to when I moved to L.A. four years ago, and he remains one of Silver Lake's sexiest dudes--especially when he's onstage tearing into one of his band's songs. Speed Queen's set last night was fantastic, and I can't wait to hear their full-length album when it finally comes out!

After that, it was on home to get into bed and prepare for another work week. I can't say that my Sunset Junction weekend was quite as festive as I had hoped it would be (I really did want to meet Chaka Kahn and Jody Watley and get my picture taken with them to share here on the blog), but I did get to enjoy a lot of great food, music and men, so hey, I guess it wasn't all bad, was it?

Anyway, hope you're enjoying the blog, and keep checkin' back. More to come soon!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Anger Management: When Life Deals You Lemons...

2005-08-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

So, last night was not a particularly good night for me. For reasons that are really too silly for me to be sharing in such a public forum, I was just down in the dumps, wallowing in a pool of self-pity that really messed with my head. I mean, I was simpy at that point where I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and just scream, Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh and then be done with it. You know, sorta like that picture of me above (which, I think, actually doubles as a great rock 'n' roll portrait shot, huh?).

And why, I ask my self today, did I let myself get so hard on myself last night? What, just because some guy didn't express interest in me? I tried to confide in a friend about some of my recent woes (still trying to wrap my head around what happened with that dude I was dating who dumped me for his ex), and he was like, "Ken, this is one of the greatest times of your life, and you can't let the little things and some idiot who couldn't see how special you are get you down. You've got your first book in stores, magazines are writing about you, and your whole career is just getting started. So shut the f#ck up and focus on your book and on doing things that make you happy, would you?"

I guess sometimes it does take some tough love like that to snap you out of a particularly moody reverie, and I'm pretty thankful to have a friend who is able to call me on my bullsh#t when I'm being such a party-pooper. And I guess sometimes life just does give you lemons, and so, indead of picking them up and pummeling the car and front door of the dude who broke my heart (oh, but you just know that I REALLY REALLY want to do that), I'm gonna squeeze the sh#t out of them A) to release all my pent-up frustrations and B) 'cuz I'm thirsty as f#ck, and I could really use a good glass of cold lemonade. (Do you know how frickin' HOT it's been in Los Angeles the past few days?)

But anyway, in honor of my friend's advice, I'm simply gonna try and focus most of my attention right now on positive things, like promoting the Homocore book and hanging out with the friends that do get me, and just let all the little stuff slip away. Because really, if you're just running around stressing out over things you can't control, you're just never gonna get to that point where you can say, "You know what, dude? Throwing lemons at your house might help me restrain myself next time I wanna put my hands around your neck and squeeze the life out of you and all, but I'd much rather use those lemons for something more worthy of my time." 'Cuz you know, as arrogant or bitter as that might sound, at the moment it's just a really important place for me to be.

Hmmmm. Now where to??? :)

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

A New Way to Play With Old Dolls???

2005-08-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought you'd seen everything, along comes something new. If you thought you were too old to play with all your old dolls, then guess again. I recently came across this totally cool web site where they take old G.I. Joe and Ken dolls and put them in sexually explicit positions. Hot! The site is called PoseableThumbs.com, and it's, like, one of the coolest things I've seen in ages. Why, you ask? Because, well, frankly, gay porn has gotten pretty frickin' boring, if you ask me. It's all posed posed posed for the cameras, the guys are far too muscle-pumped, and the sex is just way overchoreographed. On PoseableThumbs, the sex is definitely posed (an intentional jab at the inherent inauthenticity of the gay porn industry, perhaps?), but in this case, it's far too fun to be boring. And besides, the guys are HOT!

I mean, just look at these dudes. They're not all porn-star coiffed to the heavens, they don't need to spend too much time shaving or waxing their chests (in most cases, they ain't got any chest hair to wax, poor things), and well, they're surely not overly concerned with the size of their, er, packages, since, well, they just don't have any! (One wonders when the site might begin to incporporate the more than anatomically correct Billy dolls into the picture...) I wonder then, is this site making a statement about the ongoing emasculation and emotional detachment (and, indeed, the virtual plasticity) of the gay male community, or is it really just trying to point out how playful sex can be? Hmmmmm, maybe it's a bit of both???

Actually, I did an interview with the guy who created the site, Pete Handler (funny name, huh) for AVN Online, and during our little chat, Handler told me that his goal was to try a turn gay men on by using dolls and action figures and incporporating them into iconic scenarios that are very common in the gay community. You know, sex clubs, back alleys, locker rooms, play dungeons... all that hot 'n' nasty stuff we hedonist gay dudes seem to keep getting into all the time...

What I really like about this unique "outside-the-box" site is that it really does restore a certain playfulness back into sex. There's a very hot juxtaposition between the seriousness of the scenarios (in some cases, you can just hear the dominant daddies depicted in the photos barking, "Yeah, boy, get on your knees and service daddy's meat!") and the more kistch element of just having a bunch of dolls laid out in such serious sexual situations. According to Handler, it's just that mix of absurdity and eroticism that makes his site so much fun for him to put together. "I hope the uniqueness is the thing that makes it stand out from the rest," he tells me. "I didn't do this as a get-rich-quick scheme, but I did it to try and do something smart and hot and original."

I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I definitely think he's succeeded in his goal. I mean, to me, you gotta have a sense of humor about sex, and come on, sex is always a lot more fun when you're able to laugh at all the slip-ups and little moments that happen while you're rolling about in the throes of sexual passion. Come on, admit it, you've had some pretty hilarious things happen in the middle of sex sometimes, right? (When was the last time you had to say, "Um, buddy, that's totally the wrong hole!"). And by using the iconographic figures so prevalent in the childhoods of gay men (come on, boys, who among you didn't fantatsize about your G.I. Joe or Six Million Dollar Man doll?), Handler is doing more than just depicting the inherent silliness that often comes with such raw physical intimacy; he's also celebrating the icons of our sexual youth. And I like that.

By using dolls, though, Handler also makes a very interesting sociological statement about the gay community's frustratingly shallow obsession with physical perfection and mucles. Just as women have often been prone to the Barbie doll complex (does any woman have a waist that small, I ask?), gay men are now slaves to what I term the "Ken Doll Complex," in which our constant need for validation through physical attractiveness has forced us become a bunch of walking, talking, fresh-from-the-gym clones trying to out-stud each other with our perfect biceps and our perfect abs. Handler's use of plastic men literally reveals (and pokes fun at) the very plasticity of the "Ken Doll Complex."

The fact that these dolls are in most cases completely devoid of personality is also another wink-wink statement that I think speaks volumes--though, in some cases, it actually looks like these emotionally barren toys are mustering far more passion and intimacy toward each other than I've seen in the gay community in ages. And lastly, Handler's insistence on using dolls associated with the ideals of hyper-masculinity and heterosexuality sheds a much-needed light on the gay community's internalized homophobia and its desire to idolize so-called "straight-acting" men.

Though one may doubt that Handler intended to make such bold social commentary with the fancy-free pics when he set about putting this site togther (indeed, he tells me, he originally did it just so he could get a few hits off of his sex-site profile), he actually seems to be in on his own joke, which makes the site all the more cool in my view. "A lot of people just appreciate the site as humor, which is great," he says, "although I'm always a little disappointed when the bigger ideas are lost on them."

Personally, as much as I think Handler's come up with something miraculously clever and kitsch, I would like to see him take his idea even further and go totally serious with it. I think that, as gay men begin to become more and more desensitized to the increasingly lazy adult filmmaking going on in the adult entertainment industry (and, indeed, if all these new government-bred anti-porn laws keep popping up), sites like this one just might develop hot little cult followings--not to mention encourage gay guys to not take sex so seriously for a change. (And come on, boys, admit it: We could all afford to, er, "loosen up," as it were, when it comes to sex.)

Anyways, kiddies, that's it for this blog entry. I'll have more for you probably on Monday, after this weekend's Sunset Junction festivities, so stay tuned!!!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

My Night with Margaret Cho

2005-08-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

One of the perks of living in Hollywood, as I've mentioned before, is celebrity sightings. For some people, such things aren't important, but for a boy who grew up with TV and movies as his only escape from an often unbearable childhood filled with lonely days, the razzle-dazzle of "Hollywood stars" and the promise of excitement that Hollywood held, seeing a celebrity out and about is, I have to say, a pretty darn cool thing.

Now, I'm not one of those crazy stalker fans who has to run up to every celebrity he sees. I like to hang back, let them go about their lives, and not bother them; I'm really just happy to know that they're just like me, and it's cool when they are brave enough to go out in public--so really, why should I interrupt their evening out? (Well, OK, if it was Madonna, you can bet your ass I'd at least say "Yo, girl! You da woman!")

But if there's anything cooler than just spotting a celebrity out and about in "the real world," it's a full-on Hollywood premiere, baby! And last night, I was in Hollywood heaven when I attended the world premiere of commedianne Margaret Cho's new concert film Assassin over at the Egyptian Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. The event was hosted by Outfest, the annual gay and lesbian film festival held every summer, and it was pretty cool.

Now, I had been lucky enough to review an advance copy of the movie for IN Los Angeles magazine (one of the many gay and lesbian publications I freelance for), so, of course, they put me on the list for the premiere. And lucky me got to stand along the red carpet and flash pics of the stars as they walked by.

Now, admittedly, the "stars" that showed up to Ms. Cho's premiere weren't what you would call A-listers. I mean, Tracy Scoggins of Babylon 5 and Dynasty II: The Colbys and Chad Allen from Our House and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman??? Arent't we kinda scrapin' the bottom of the barrel here? But, hey, for a celebrity hog like me, that doesn't really matter. (Besides, Chad is gay, and totally hot to boot. Check out his pic! Va-va-va-voom!)

Now Chad's got a hot new role as a gay private detective on Here TV's new "Murder, He Wrote" show Third Man Out, which I am actually looking forward to--if I can get Adelphia to carry the Here channel, that is. We shall see. But anyway, it was cool to see him out and about looking all dapper and sexy. A lot of these child stars don't grow up looking too good, you know (I mean, have you seen Danny Bonnaducci lately?). And we need more brave, out and proud actors like Chad making the world a safer place for the Tom Cruises of the world to come out. Woops. Did I just say that? (If you don't hear from me ever again, you'll know the Scientologists have gotten to me. Don't laugh; it can happen! Those people will do anything to keep their gay superstars in the closet!)

Now Tracy Scoggins was looking pretty good for her age, I must say. She was accompanied by the young studly actor Greg Lee, who some of you might remember from his appearances as 'Virgil' on Xena, but from the way photographers were snapping pics of him you would have though that the dude was the new Playgirl cover model. (These were predominantly gay photographers, after all.) I remember former model Ms. Scoggins quite well from her days as Monica on The Colbys (What can I say? I actually watched it, though admittedly it was more to drool over Maxwell Caulfield than it was to see Tracy), and well, she pretty much looked the same.

There were a few other celebs there as well: my good friend the openly gay comedian Jason Stuart (who has a number of film roles coming up, including one in which he appears alongside Faye Dunaway), gay comedian Alec Mapa (who I may be interviewing sometime soon for Frontiers), Reichen (that hot 'n' hunky gay stud from TV's The Amazing Race), Robbie Laughlin from Bravo's Queer Eye for the Straight Girl, and the one and only Chastity Bono. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who wanted to scream out Sandra Bernhard's famous line "Chastity, get iiiiin heeere!" Chastity was lookin' a little less than svelte, I have to say, but hey, the girl's a bull dyke icon, so what can you do? She was a little laid-back, I guess you could say, all hands-in-pockets and aloof, and she looked a little uncomfortable in the flash of the cameras, but she eventually did take those damned sunglasses off, though I missed that shot.

Now, Ms. Cho, on the other hand... Well, she was just looking hot. And bitch was workin' the photographers like she'd been born to do it, posing up a storm and carrying on like she was Norma Desmond. As I mentioned in my last blog, I really wanted to get my pic taken with Margaret, simply because she is such a fabulous gay icon and because it's always good to be close to greatness in case it rubs off on you (I woke up this morning feeling strangely invigorated, I must say!), and I stood patiently but anxiously off to the side as she posed for pics and talked to interviewers until she made her way over to me, and I got my friend Photo Larry to snap a shot of the two of us, which I am proudly displaying here for you to see.

So anyway, then we all got to go inside and watch the movie, which I had already seen having reviewed it. My review had just come out that day, and while I still had some of the same problems with it (I think, like Bill Maher, Margaret has gotten a bit complacent "preaching to the choir," so to speak, writing material mostly for gay audiences who will all too readily agree with and hang on her every word), it was great to see it on a big screen with a packed house of people. It seemed so much funnier when you're enjoying it with a crowd. I laughed my ass off. Unfortunately, because I had waited so long outside by the red carpet to get my pic, the big theater was full, so they shoved a bunch of us press people into a smaller side theater to watch the movie. But Margaret was cool enough to come into the theater and tell us, "You people are just so fabulous that we put you in the 'special' theater."

After the movie was over, there was a rather fun Q&A with Margaret in which she did her famous impression of her mother, and then a festive party out in front of the Egyptian. There were all kinds of hot gay guys out there, one of whom was most definitely my pal Peter Hume, one of the writers of the upcoming WB TV show South Beach. Peter is quite the hottie, I must say. And he's Canadian, which I just think is sexy as hell. You know, Canada--the land of ice hockey, legalized marijuana, health care for all citizens and gay marriage! Not to mention Alanis Morissette! But the sexiest thing about Peter, besides the fact that he's from Canada and is a writer (I just love a creative man), is that he's just a nice guy with a great sense of humor. Like someone you could spend hours talking to and laughing with. (OK, so obviously I've got a little crush on the dude.)

After the premiere, my friend Mike and I went to eat at Hamburger Hamlet and called it a night. And oh, what a night! I swear, there's just nothing like a good Hollywood premiere to get you energized! Here's looking forward to more of them!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

A Post Just for the Hell of It

2005-08-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

OK, so there was this great song in the movie The Cannonball Run that went "Just For the Hell of It," and you know, I always kinda liked that song. Not to mention that movie. Kinda fun in that throwback nostalgic way toward the early '80s, when Farrah Fawcett's tits jiggling around was fun for everyone--gays and straights alike! (I still have a Farrah poster hanging in my office at AVN Online.)

Anyway, one of the things that I love most about living in L.A. are the palm trees. See, we didn't have these back in Pennsylvania, and the only time I got to see them was when my family would go on vacaton to Florida, and I always thought they were the coolest things ever. So, of course, when I got to L.A., I was happy to be in the company of palm trees again. I've recently started taking a series of photographs of them as well, which I may one day publish in a book. Anyway, that's pretty much all I wanted to say today: that palm trees are cool! :)

Well, OK, palm trees aren't the only things that are cool. So are cowboys! I missed the L.A. Gay Rodeo this year, but I'll probably go for sure next year. Ain't nothin' like a good ol' boy to get those juices flowing--like this here new country-western singer Keith Anderson. Slurrrpp! I mean, check him out!
This stud could stick his spur in me anytime! And his music ain't too bad either. Something about him just makes me want to walk up to him and say, "Howdy pard'ner."

OK, looks like I'm getting a little carried away today, so I best be running along now. Tonight I'm going to the world premiere of Margaret Cho's new concert film Assassin, and she's going to be there, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have a picture to post of me with her!

XOXO,
Hollywood Ken

Celebrity Sightings, Porn Stars and My La-La Life!

2005-08-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well, OK, so I'm officially hooked on this whole blog thing, I must say. Quite fun. As most of my friends know, I love to talk about myself and what's going on in my life (though not, as some of them might believe, at the expense of caring about their lives), but anyways, hey, I'm not making any apologies. I am who I am, right? We Capricorns are kinda stubborn and self-involved that way.

So anyway, I feel like there's a lot of stuff I need to catch my "followers" up on. As I said, my book, Homocore, is finally out (avaialable at all major booksellers), and I've started work on my next one, The SeXXX-Files: The History of Gay Porn and Its Influence on Gay Male Sexuality, which I've been busy researching for the past few weeks via the Web and a few books.

As far as my entertainment journalism has been going, though, I've been keeping busy in that sense, too. I recently got to interview Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls), Bob Mould (ex-Husker Du and Sugar), Jody Watley, and just last week, Rufus Wainwright, who I really enjoyed talking with over the phone. He was funny. I got to go see his show at The Wiltern Theatre the other night, and he played with Ben Lee and Ben Folds, who I enjoyed as well. Later, a lot of us ended up over at one of my fave Silver Lake bars, MJ's, for an after-concert party, where I took several pics of Rufus, who was pretty cool. See, I even got one of him with me!

My friends and family back home often ask me about celebrity sightnigs, and indeed, they do happen quite often here in sunny ol' L.A. The other night, we saw Dennis Hopper out and about at the ArcLight Cinemas, my favorite place to go see movies in all of Los Angeles. I've seen David Spade, Jason Priestley, Zach Braff (who stood in line behind me for a flight up to San Francisco), Henry Simmons, and a bunch of others. My all-time favorite celebrity run-in was the time that Fiona Apple came into the 24-hour adult video store I was working at to buy vibrators at 2am in the morning, and I got to demonstrate to her how they worked. Of course, I never let on until the very end of the sale that I knew who she was, when I leaned in and said, "Now I better not hear about this in one of your songs." The girl busted up, her face turnng red and tears streaming down her face. She was laughing so hard. That was quite a fun moment. I'm so happy that her long-delayed record Extraordinary Machine is finally getting a release on Oct. 4. I've been listening to my Web-downloaded bootleg forever!

Of course, one of my favorite (not to mention hottest) "celebrity sightings" came this past weekend at the Gay Erotic Expo at the Los Angeles Convention Center, where I got to cozy up to one of my all-time fave gay porn stars, the hot 'n' studly Mr. Parker Williams. If there was ever a man hotter and more naturally masculine than this (the Brawny towel guy and the Marlboro Man excepted, of course), I would like to know who it is. As you can see from this pic, I was pretty much one helluva happy camper that day.

Anyway, this morning I got a package in the mail--a contributor's copy of a book I submitted a story to (under my pen name "Colt Spencer") well over a year ago. The book is called The Best of Both Worlds, and it's a collection of erotic fiction that deals with bisexuality. My submission, "Married, but Not Dead," is one of the stories they single out in the book's description on the jacket, which was kinda cool for me. It's still neat to see my work show up in things like this, no matter how many times it happens.

I'm actually "on call" all this week for jury duty. I've put it off the past three times, so I think if I try to do it again, they're gonna put my ass in jail or something, so I guess I should go if they call me. Just don't wanna!

Oh well, I guess there's nothing really left for me to say this time around. Right now I'm just enjoying "sharing myself" through this blog thingy, and keeping all my friends informed.

XOXO,

Hollywood Ken