The End is the Beginning!

Well, folks, it's come that time: Time for the unveiling of The New Me! Yes, I have a new body, as you can see from the pics in this (long-delayed) entry.

A note about the photo shoot: I was lucky enough to hook up with a photographer who shoots for all kinds of things, one of them being stills and behind-the-scenes pics for the adult industry. His name is Greg Lenzman, and I've known him for a few years. He was gracious enough to volunteer to do the shoot for free, and he took me out to this really cool abandoned pier just off the PCH in Malibu, and it was there that I had one of the best days of my life. I've always had a very hard time taking my shirt off in private, much less in public, so for me to have felt confident enough to pose for this photo shoot was a HUGE deal. It felt GREAT! I was out there for hours in the sun, and I felt so sexy! Greg (aka "Mocha") took some amazing shots. When I saw them later on, I couldn't believe how I looked. "Is that ME!?" I exclaimed. Sure enough, it was. I can't tell you how happy I am with the results.

Speaking of results, here they are:

STARTING MEASUREMENTS (JANUARY 22):

Weight: 169.2 lb.
Biceps: 12 ¼ “
Chest: 40 “
Waist: 40”

ENDING MEASUREMENTS (SEPTEMBER 23):

Weight: 156 lb.
Biceps: 13 ¼ “
Chest: 39”*
Waist: 34”

* The final figure indicates a loss of fat, not muscle.

When I saw that I'd lost six inches off my waist, I was ecstatic. And boy, does it show. Just look at those before pics!!!

Sadly, my time training in the gym with Ronn has come to an end. After seven and a half months sweating it out at Train, my workout project for Frontiers is finished. And I'm sad. If anyone would have told me back in January that I would be sad to NOT work out, I think I would have laughed at them. As you all know, I was not the biggest fan of the gym culture, especially the L.A. gym scene. But my, how times change.

I'm a changed man now in many ways. If you've been following along on the blog, then you've read about how working out with Ronn has helped me to grow and evolve. Not only did I come to appreciate the value of working out regularly, I learned to appreciate the value of something much more important: Myself. I like myself more than I ever have now. I look in the mirror, and while I don't see exactly the body that I want, I generally like what I see, and I understand that I have it in my power to change the things that I don't like. That's an amazing knowledge to be aware of. It seems like such a simple thing--common sense to some. But to those of us who have struggled with body dysmorphia and who have felt intimidated by those more in shape, that is something that is hard for us to learn.

But what is beautiful about what I have done for myself is that I no longer feel inadequate and un-attractive. I am now simply aware of my body's limitations, and instead of feeling bad about the things that I cannot change, I accept and embrace those things as part of what makes me Ken. I am a little self-conscious about my rib cage being so low and prominent, but I just know that I have to work all that much harder on my chest and on my shoulders and arms to bring balance and symmetry to my body. OK. I know I will never have a full head of hair again, but I now see that I am a very attractive man just the same. Working out has helped me to realize that I simply can't be everybody's type--just as not everybody is mine. I no longer take rejection so personally. If they can't see me for the beautiful person that I am, then who really has the problem here? {Haha.}

Actually, there's so much more to it than feeling attractive and hot and desirable. The superficial reasons for working out are only half of why I did it in the first place. The bigger reward is that I was able to accomplish something that I had previously thought myself incapable of doing. Before when I worked out, I would lose my enthusiasm quickly. But this time around, I remained enthusiastic through all of it. Of course, this is all due to having a trainer to help push and guide me through the process. Through it all, Ronn became not only my trainer and my teacher, but also my mentor, my therapist, my big brother and my best friend. I knew from the first time we met that we were going to hit it off famously, and we did. I simply couldn't have achieved all that I did without him.

But now it's time for me to take what I've learned from Ronn and go out on my own, and I'm very excited to begin this next chapter of taking care of myself. I injured my wrist during the last few weeks of training, and I've been taking a break from weights since then to give it time to heal. It was a huge shock going from working out five nights a week to not working out at all, and I still find myself restless, but I make sure I hike in Runyon Canyon on the weekends just to keep active, and as soon as my doctor gives me the OK to head back into the gym, I am so there. Ronn has put together a great program for me to follow on my own, and I can't wait to see what else I can accomplish with my body. It's onward and upward for me!

I will post on this blog periodically to keep you updated on how I'm doing, of course. I can't guarantee I'll do it often, but I will keep posting text and pics so you can follow along in my journey. Thanx for all your support along the way. It's been a huge help!

Talk to you soon!

XOXO,
Ken