Sunday, April 27, 2008

Life Coaching and Good Sex...

So, last time around, I was talking about how doing the Accelerate program had opened me up emotionally. And it has. But with that new openness has emerged a VERY cool perk: AWESOME SEX!!!

Seriously, I've been having the most AMAZING sex of my life lately! I don't know exactly what's up in the water they have out at the Accelerate Training Center, but whatever it is, it's been working wonders on my sex life. Actually, I think I can pinpoint exactly what it is. Now that I've finally gotten in touch with all that pain I had been holding deep inside me, I am able to let it go and focus solely on the moment and making the most of it. The connections I've been having--not only with my friends, but with various men that I meet here and there--are quite frankly, mind-blowing to me. It's like some secret has been revealed to me. The secret on how to frickin' ENJOY MYSELF with other people. I love it.

There have actually been two guys recently who have pretty much blown my mind--among other things. (Thank you!) Both were from out of town, and both were totally my type of guy. Masculine, easy-going, quietly strong, naturally athletic bodies, and totally dirty-minded. (The latter being my favorite trait in any man, of course.) I have to say that both of them belong at the top of the Best Sex of My Life List that I've been keeping in my head for the past several years. It's like, I keep finding guys who end up going on the top of the list. At this juncture in my life, I sometimes wonder how that's possible. You'd think with as much sex as I've had (and trust me, there's been A LOT of it, mmm-kay?), I'd have pretty much done it all. But with acceptance of one's self comes a whole new level of intimacy with people, and I'm totally diggin' it. Yes, I have to admit, it does hurt just a little bit when these guys put on their clothes and disappear off into the night when it's all said and done, but that's OK. That's part of the experience, letting myself feel that. It feels good to know that my heart is not frozen after all. I used to feel so depressed after a guy would leave. I would start thinking, "Why didn't he want to spend the night? Why didn't he ask me to call him the next day? Why doesn't he want more with me?" Now I just kiss him goodbye, watch him walk off, take a deep breath, and go on with life again. At least I had that moment with them, and it meant something. They all mean something. The one guy from Vermont... shit. I would kill to have a guy like him in my life and wake up next to him every day. I know it was just "vacation sex" to him, but that's OK. To me it was more than just sex. It was everything I'd been looking for. And it was also a personal breakthrough, to be able to be happy for having had the experience and to love it for what it was, not for what I wish it was. Even if I still can't help but laugh at how absurd life can be sometimes. (Of COURSE he would be from out of town!) In those situations, I just have to have a sigh and a good laugh. It's all part of the journey.

My guy is waiting for me somewhere anyway. Hell, maybe I've already met him and we just don't know it. Whoever he is, he's one lucky motherfucker. These other guys... they have NO IDEA what they're missing out on. That's for sure. Did I mention that I cook too? :)

They say that with each guy, you get closer and closer to finding the one who's going to blow your mind (among other things, hehe) on a more permanent basis. We'll see. God knows this single guy is ready for the perennial "something more," but until it comes along, I'm happy where I am in my life. I feel good. I feel alive. More alive than I've felt in years.

It's a wonderful, WONDERFUL time in my life, and I'm going with it. :)

Hollywood Ken


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